01
As the saying goes: "Don't expose family scandals to anyone."
The truth is obvious and easy to understand. But what specific things are family scandals? How can one hide a family scandal? It needs to be carefully considered based on the family's situation.
Wise old people will not say the following "five ugly things", which are worth learning from.
02
First, do not talk about the distribution of the parents' inheritance to prevent brothers and sisters from settling old scores.
My grandmother lived to be over ninety years old.
Before my grandmother passed away, she handed over all her savings to my uncle.
After grandma passed away, several uncles sat together to discuss the distribution of the inheritance. After much calculation, I couldn't tell where the money in my uncle's hands had been spent.
Many years later, my fourth uncle celebrated his 70th birthday, and all the relatives gathered together for a meal.
My uncle said: "When my mother passed away, you all stared at the money in my hand, but you didn't think about it. Who took away the antiques at home? Antiques are worth more than cash."
One stone stirred up a thousand layers of pain. wave. A wonderful birthday party was ruined by one sentence.
Fighting for parents’ inheritance is a problem that exists in many families. Everyone has selfish motives and hopes that they can get more property. After all, this is "something for nothing."
It’s not surprising that there was a dispute at first, but then they continued to argue because of it, which shows that one person’s structure is too small. Therefore, elderly people should not mention their parents’ inheritance, even if they suffer a loss, it doesn’t matter.
After the parents have passed away, the brothers and sisters are the closest relatives. Why should there be resentment among relatives because of past festivals?
03
Second, don’t talk about the people you once loved, and don’t make jokes to outsiders.
There is a kind of love that stops at the lips and teeth and is covered by the years.
If you have loved someone before and then had to give it up; or after getting married, you met someone you hated to meet so late and made an appointment with each other. After careful consideration, you still chose family and gave up the extra love. .
No matter what form of love it is, as long as it cannot last a lifetime, don't mention it again in your later years. Even if your wife knows about it and understands you, don't say it out loud. After all, it was an emotional scar.
If you tell outsiders about the scars in your relationship, they will sympathize with you and identify with you on the surface, but they will also laugh at you secretly. Over time, outsiders' jokes will spread back to your family, causing the relationship between the couple to break up.
After going through ups and downs, the person who should be cherished the most is my wife. Never hurt him with words again.
04
Third, do not talk about the relationship between children, daughter-in-law, and son-in-law, but respect their rights to freedom .
Old people often complain: "My daughter-in-law is too lazy; my son, if he doesn't want a good marriage, he has to find a vixen..."
The old man is very worried when he sees that his children's families are not very good, but he Don't know what to do. Therefore, they will confide in relatives and friends around them, and also discuss countermeasures with the elderly in the community.
In fact, no matter how old people gather together to discuss any countermeasures, they cannot change the marriage of their children. Everyone is just talking on paper.
As the saying goes: "Don't persuade others to do good without suffering others' suffering."
Parents cannot empathize with their children's marriage, and parents cannot know 100% of their children's thoughts. Therefore, learn to sit on the sidelines.
If the elderly want to talk about their children's marriage, they should talk about it at home and there is no need to talk to outsiders.
05
Fourth, avoid greedy and selfish relatives to reduce internal friction in the relative circle.
When interacting with relatives, it is inevitable that things such as borrowing money, borrowing things, staying overnight, and helping to find a job will happen.
Maybe the old man has helped many relatives, but the relatives are not grateful. Some relatives refuse to repay borrowed money, which is chilling.
What will happen if the old man tells the story of his relative's scandal?
Childhood playmate Yushu said such a thing.
His cousin was getting married, and his uncle asked his father to borrow 50,000 yuan.Dad had no money on hand, so he asked him to guarantee and go to the bank for a loan. He refused.
After that, his father asked his sister to vouch for him, but he was also rejected.
Originally, this matter came to an end. But my father said an insinuation to the group of relatives: "When a child is older, his mother cannot help him, and when a girl is older, she cannot be left behind."
This sentence made the two brothers and sister feel ashamed. From then on, many relatives gave them pointers. The negative effects of his father's words are evident.
It is other people's right to borrow money, and it is your own right to refuse to lend money. No one owes anyone anything, so why should morally kidnap ? Obviously, what "Dad" did was inappropriate.
06
Fifth, do not talk about the unfilial piety of your children, but try to understand their difficulties.
My mother often said in the community: "In this life, I have raised an unfilial daughter. Everyone commented that my daughter has not come to see me for three months, should I? Just give me two hundred yuan on Dragon Boat Festival Who should send the money?”
Once, my brother-in-law was contracted to clean the ditches in the community. People in the community told him what his mother had said.
Brother-in-law was very angry: "Mom, my family still has a mortgage loan of more than 500,000 yuan? Didn't you see? Your daughter is working in Shenzhen, is it easy to come back once?"
It is a fact that daughters are not very filial to their parents, but It is also true that my daughter has her own difficulties. Besides, my mother has a pension and someone to take care of her in life. Taken together, the mother should not say that her daughter is unfilial.
As parents, we should try our best to help our children, and we should also hide our children's faults. If your children go too far, you can only tell them face to face.
As the saying goes: "I only beat the drum in front of me, but not the gong behind my back."
Even if the old man says "children are not filial" a thousand times, nothing will change. Outsiders will just say a few words of comfort or complain together. After speaking, the old man still has to deal with the troubles by himself, and still needs to communicate with his children.
Seeing the truth of "filial piety" is more reliable than looking for people to comment on it.
07
The tongue is the root of benefit and harm, and the mouth is the door of disaster and blessing.
A happy family cannot have internal friction in words.
If the old man doesn't know what to say, just keep silent.
If the old man has to say a few words, then say good things: the contribution of the children, the filial piety of the daughter-in-law, the efforts of the son-in-law, the growth of the grandson, the praise of the couple, the prosperity of the society, the fireworks of the family...
Remember , words and deeds lie in beauty, not in abundance.
Author: Commoner.
Pay attention to my words and enter your heart.
The pictures in the article are from the Internet.
