Too many people mistakenly believe that marrying for love is equivalent to achieving happiness and consummation. They think that it is a new beginning in life. However, when they actually enter the daily life of daily necessities, they realize that it is completely different from what they originally thought. God, getting along with your husband's family is an inescapable problem. Therefore, no matter how much love you have at the beginning, how much emotional foundation there is, and no matter how much sacrifice you make, in the end all your efforts will be wasted and it will end in failure.
In marriage, what women have to face is the relationship with their husband's family, and the state of getting along with their parents-in-law also directly affects the relationship between husband and wife.
In real life, I have seen too many women who are burdened by marital and family conflicts after marriage. They constantly complain about the sin of their husbands' families who rely on their elders and do not treat their daughter-in-law as a human being, and detail their own sorrows and grievances.
Of course, there are many husbands in the family who will also preach that their daughter-in-law is ignorant and too lazy to take care of her family and son.
is the apple of the eye that is regarded as a treasure at home. Because she marries into another family, she will feel more or less unprecedented grievances and unfairness in her own position. A young girl becomes a wife for the first time, fully expecting happiness, but encounters the problem of mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. The embarrassment and shock, the gap, and the lack of understanding of how to maintain the relationship are human nature, but it is also doomed that one will not get the love and respect he deserves in his husband's family.
And those women who live well in their husband's family after marriage do not rely on luck, but on their own certain wisdom. Her cognitive thinking and way of dealing with problems are all unique and distinctive. at.
Don’t expect too much, don’t tolerate too much
The key to why a daughter-in-law has accumulated so many grievances in her husband’s family is that she always believed that by “comparing one’s feelings with one’s own”, she would be able to use her own actions first to gain acceptance and equal treatment from the other family. But the husband's family is not a home, and the mother-in-law is not the mother. Any disappointment starts from the expected expectations.
What you think is just what you think. The other party may not be able to perceive it, and they will definitely not interact according to the script they think.
At the same time, under the initial compromise of tolerance and tolerance, it may be out of respect, it may be because of embarrassment, or it may be that it will not be repeated next time. But in fact, the final outburst of emotions all started from the first act of patience without a bottom line.
If you do not clearly state your position and attitude, you will let the other party tentatively interfere in the affairs between husband and wife, which will form a habit. When the time comes, you will make trouble again and settle old scores. You will be wronged and it will appear that you have too much to do. Disrespect elders.
Therefore, a smart woman understands how to politely socialize and family relationships from the moment she gets married. This is a legal relationship The blood relative of the husband, but it will definitely not be her closest relative. She should be respected and cared for under etiquette. Yes, but they will not try to exchange for the love and harmony they expect by sacrificing themselves.
The reason why many women have family disharmony after marriage is that they feel angry when faced with the many criticisms of their husbands by their husbands. The key to getting angry is "How could you?" "What"
Because of dissatisfaction, there will naturally be more dissatisfaction and emotions in the communication process, so getting along with the husband's family will become more tense and even incompatible.
A smart woman clearly understands that if others dislike her, it has nothing to do with the truth, and it does not matter whether the other person has the capital she thinks she has. It is her personal right. The husband's family is just a relative, and they should treat guests as they should, but they should maintain a sense of boundaries and have their own bottom line. As long as they don't cross the red line and don't interfere with their own little life, everything can be ignored and ignored.
This open-mindedness avoids some unnecessary disputes, because sometimes it is just the difference in expressions of generation gap and upbringing background. On the other hand, only by not getting angry can you ensure your health and beauty. After all, being really angry can't change any facts. , can only escalate relationships and conflicts.
And on the contrary, the more a woman can be so calm, the more people retain a sense of awe, and her husband's family will not easily make mistakes.
Make sure you are strong and have the ability to exit with dignity at any time.
Marriage is a reality. It is an exchange of values. When you are in love, you look at looks and personality compatibility, but when you really get married, what you look at is Family status, but also a woman's own intrinsic abilities.
If you want to get equality and respect, you must first have certain viability and value.
So I think that no matter how smart and intelligent a stay-at-home wife is, it will be difficult to reconcile the relationship with her husband's family, and even harder to gain respect from her husband's family, because your survival depends on the supply of men.
If a woman lives well in her husband's family, it is not just the man's high emotional intelligence that can reconcile the relationship. What is important is that the woman herself is strong enough to keep everyone in awe of her.
It is human nature to worship those who are superior and those who are inferior to others. Even family members have to admit that there are still bad qualities in human nature. Only if you are strong enough will you be respected, and only if you have the confidence to start over at any time can you not live in silence.
Therefore, women, it is better to be angry than to be angry. If you think about the same thing correctly, a lot of anger will disappear. You are good enough, and you are really not afraid that no one will respect you from the bottom of your heart.
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text/emotional transfer station
(Author: Xiao Yu, psychological counselor, focusing on the emotional field), specializes in the restoration and repair of love relationships, marital conflicts and disagreements, and the healing of spiritual trauma caused by original families. In the lonely journey of life, we listen to your grievances and pressures, help visitors improve their skills in getting along with each other, win back their lovers, manage their relationships well, and strive to become a happier person.
