If you have seen enough couples, you will find that the "holy lady" and the "scumbag" are the two poles of a magnet. They can always catch each other at a glance from the crowd and fall in love with each other. This phenomenon seems unfair. Although the word "Madonna" is derogato

If you have seen enough couples, you will find that the "Holy Mother" and the "Scumbag" are the two poles of a magnet. They can always catch each other at a glance from the crowd and fall in love with each other.

This phenomenon seems unfair.

Although the word "Madonna" is derogatory in the current context, in the final analysis, it means a "good girl" who is kind, gentle, dedicated to feelings, able to be considerate and tolerant of the other half, and willing to pay for love. Girls like

are not born to be bullied by scumbag men.

But I have seen many virgin-type girls. Certain traits in them determine that they and good men do not call each other. She even has the ability to make a relationship high and low, and "cultivate" good men into Scumbag.

We say that Mary likes to give when she is in love.

In fact, anyone who is truly in love will give, but the difference is that the Virgin's sacrifice is usually very heavy.

What is heavy?

The other party’s benefits may not necessarily be maximized, but there must be losses and sacrifices on the Virgin’s side.

is a common example.

The man said he had a cold.

You can comfort him with a few words and tell him to drink more hot water - this is already a relatively low-cost payment. After all, the energy you spend chatting with him and your attention are also valuable.

You can also order takeout to deliver medicine or a bowl of hot porridge to him. If you are on the way, take some fruit to see him.

You will not think that you are a holy mother in the above ways of giving, and men will not think that you are romantic and easy to bully just because you have done these things.

What would Our Lady do?

She would stay up late and cook porridge for three hours. Even though she knew she had to go to work the next day, she would carry a thermos cup across half the city to deliver the porridge to a man. While he could drink the porridge, she would be busy. Finally, I cleaned the man's house and wanted to wash all his clothes and socks.

Then he sat next to the man sweating profusely and said that I feel sorry for you so much that I don’t even know how to take care of myself. I should work harder to take care of you in the future.

How do men feel at this time?

Frankly speaking, a normal adult would be a little uncomfortable .

Because this payment is too heavy - I just had a minor illness and kept you busy all night, it is not necessary.

And to put it more bluntly, you have worked so hard to do all this. Compared with buying a medicine and reminding me to drink more hot water, it will not make my illness heal faster.

But I am a human being with a basic conscience, and it is impossible for me to be untouched by what you have paid.

Therefore, I have to show double gratitude and even guilt because you have done something that actually has limited benefit to me.

Who would like this? !

But this is what Our Lady especially likes to do. Maybe they themselves are not aware that their "payment" is not unrequited in nature.

They at least want to be seen and be recognized as "you have given a lot to me and you are especially good to me."

And there must be an emotion behind this cognition, that is, they hope to get more gratitude and apology .

But they don't care whether the "especially many" and "especially good" are what others really need, and whether they can bring greater benefits to the other party.

Anyway, I moved myself first, and you have to follow my move.

So, can you have a good communication with Our Lady and say that I don’t need you to do so much, let’s do what we can?

is difficult.

This is also a mentality that distinguishes Our Lady from ordinary girls. Even though they look humble, they are actually very stubborn and even strong at their core.

All their efforts, sacrifices, compromises, and tolerance hide a core purpose:

I want to take care of you and save you.

If you are sick, it means that you cannot take care of yourself and you need me to take care of you.

You have no money, which means your ability is limited. When you encounter a trough, it is my duty to save you from danger.

If you cheated, it means you made a mistake at most. How could I abandon a child who made a mistake? Of course I have to forgive you and influence you with my love...

Looking at it this way, the word "Mother" is really accurate. This whole Buddha's light shines universally and saves all living beings.

However, did the students see a problem?

Our Lady will always preset a position:

The men they love are naive, weak, and will keep making mistakes, while they are always right and always provide guidance.

This is the subtext of "care" and "rescue":

You are weak, I am strong; you are wrong, I am right.

How do you communicate with her?

It's impossible, because subconsciously, Our Lady doesn't feel the need for equal dialogue between you at all.

People who are truly immersed in this feeling will be particularly crazy.

Let’s take another common example.

Some couples will quarrel because they have different requirements for the cleanliness of their home. This is okay.

Maybe some men are careless and think that my clothes do not need to be neatly arranged every day. I put them on the sofa and there is nothing on the chair.

If a girl can't stand it, she can hang it up for him, or she can just take care of her own clothes.

After all, this is not a big deal. There is no absolute right or wrong in how to put clothes.

But a girl with a Virgin mentality will definitely insist on helping a man hang his clothes while constantly educating him that clothes must be hung like this. You are just too lazy and sloppy. It depends on me to keep this house clean and tidy, otherwise you Such a grown man doesn’t even know how to pack his clothes...

... However, even though you don’t like it, this man has lived peacefully for twenty or thirty years in his own way of packing clothes. It’s not that he doesn’t know how to pack his clothes.

The Holy Mother cannot accept it.

She will only think that the way she cleans the room is the right way. Men who live different from hers need to be taken care of, saved and changed by her.

To put it mildly, this is tantamount to the female version of "daddy taste".

As much as normal girls don’t like father-flavored men, normal men also don’t like this kind of virgin.

After all, we are all adults, and no one falls in love just to be educated.

Some students asked again, don’t these Madonna-type girls have their own lives? Why do you have to revolve around men and give to men?

You are right, and you get to the core -

No matter whether the Madonna-type girls have an independent job, family and social circle on the surface, from the inside, their self is illusory and shaky.

Their spirit must be "parasitized" on men and support their own sense of value through "I am very good to you."

To put it simply, I have to fall in love and pay for a man to feel useful.

Many women of our father’s generation are like this.

They feel from the bottom of their hearts that after I get married and have children, the meaning of my life is my husband and children. I have to contribute endlessly to the family. I have to wash clothes, cook, take care of the children, and serve my parents-in-law. When the children grow up, I have to take care of their grandchildren.

If you tell her that's not the case, you have to live your own life.

She was confused, how to live her life? I just have to take care of my husband and children!

Of course, I will not criticize that generation of women. Their lives are limited by the times and they cannot help themselves.

But we are different. We have a completely different social culture. There are obviously many women around us who are independent in life and spirit and have realized their self-worth.

More importantly, there are many outstanding men of our generation who are more willing to appreciate girls who can live their own lives without having to pin their own value on others.

At this time, it is really a pity that girls who still revolve around men and entrust themselves to the Virgin-type girls who "pay for men".

Men who are high-quality and respect women will often not choose her. In their eyes, independent women with self-esteem are more attractive.

The man who can choose her is bound to not cherish her efforts, and even just wants to exploit her even more.

The most important thing is that the Virgin-type girls will realize all these tragedies one day.

They will find that they always encounter unkind people, and all their efforts are wasted. The people they want to take care of and save only use themselves as a useful tool.

At this point, the opposite of the Virgin mentality will burst out.

Many people may not know that the opposite of the Virgin mentality is the victim mentality.

Behind the endless sacrifice, dedication, and compromise, there is endless grievance.

Many people have heard a saying:

"I am so good to him, everything I do is for him, why should he not appreciate it!"

This is a typical victim mentality - I am good to you, for You pay, so you must "appreciate" .

As for what "appreciation" means, I'm afraid it only counts if you are satisfied with the aspect of giving.

includes but is not limited to, you must always be with her, you must accept her care and rescue, agree with her "views of right and wrong" (which often means you have to admit that you are wrong), and you must behave according to her expectations Guilt and gratitude...

Perhaps Madonna-type girls will not admit it, or even realize that they think so, but believe me, if men do not cooperate with this set of behaviors, their victim mentality will immediately emerge. , making you feel suffocated instantly.

If you still can't get it, then let's do a gender swap.

Virgin-type girls are somewhat similar to "dog-licking" suitors.

He chases after you to ask for help, whether you need it or not, he just wants to stick to you.

He always says things that touch him but actually embarrasses you, and does things that he thinks are romantic but actually embarrass you. He often puts up a candle or a banner in public to express his love to you. You know that he really put in the effort and thought. But you know better that you really don’t like it.

You reject him over and over again, but he insists that he will always wait for you. When you are in love, he waits for you to break up. When you get married, he waits for you to divorce. He has to be you.

Maybe even the people around you think that he is a good person and he is sincere to you. Why don't you like him?

Yes, he is really a good guy.

But what you can't stand is that facing such a good person, you seem to always be a bad person.