There are many kinds of women in this world.
Some women are born surrounded by love, with a loving father and mother, harmonious husband and wife, and a happy life; but some women are surrounded by people who come and go, and are always alone, with few people paying attention.
The famous French writer Jacques Lacan once said that love is essentially the desire to be loved.
When a woman has not been loved and cared for for a long time, she will often have the following three characteristics:
01
Sensitive mind and unstable temper
Love is a good medicine to heal the body and mind. People with love and care can always face the challenges in life better. Ups and downs.
But a woman who lacks love lacks this layer of armor, and the pressure, irritability, and sadness generated have no solution. If they are accidentally exposed, they will become what others call a bad temper.
Wu Min in the domestic drama "Perfect Partner" is such a woman who lacks love.
After Wu Min married her husband, she became a full-time housewife, devoting herself to the family and taking care of her husband and son.
However, her husband has been busy with work since the birth of his son and is away from home all day long. He has no time to communicate with Wu Min at all. As time went by, Wu Min was short of love.
This lack of love makes Wu Min more sensitive to love.
When she sensed that her husband was impatient with her, in order to gain his love, she chose to accuse and scold her, hoping to gain her husband's conscience and love.
But these behaviors eventually drove the distance between her and her husband further and further.
A woman who lacks love will tightly hold on to the little love left in her hand and dare not miss any bit.
But this kind of behavior of maintaining all love on another person will collapse when the other person leaves, making women even more unable to learn how to love others.
A woman must first feel love and learn to control her temper, only then can she slowly gather love and warm herself.
02
Afraid of communicating with others and insecure.
Another distinctive feature of people who lack love is that they are separated from the crowd.
They always stay in their own small space, as if this way they will not be hurt by others and feel safe.
But it is this way of wrapping oneself that builds a thick wall of heart, rejecting the approach of others, and naturally shuts out love.
My friend Xiaoxia is such an insecure person.
Xiaoxia was recently taken on a blind date. The man’s family was in good condition and he was also very gentle.
But when the two met, the scene was very awkward.
When chatting, they often stop talking.
Xiaoxia said that she doesn’t know much about what the other person likes, so she doesn’t dare to talk nonsense and is afraid of embarrassing the other person by talking about topics they don’t like.
Later, during the relationship, the man gave her a lipstick worth more than 300 yuan, which scared Xiaoxia. After Xiaoxia returned the gift, she never saw the man again.
When people who lack love receive a gift, their first reaction is often not surprise, but fear of how to repay the favor.
They always want to be loved and want to exchange a little love by pleasing others, but subconsciously they think that they are not loved.
Therefore, people who lack love are afraid of being loved and yearn for being loved at the same time.
But love is giving, it is two people running towards each other.
When a bridge of communication is established between two people, a sense of security will appear in every word.
A woman who lacks love must learn to step out of her own world and try to communicate well with others in order to gain a sense of security and find the feeling of being loved.
03
It is easy to be gullible and easily hurt.
But there are also some people who will go to the other extreme.
The more she lacks love, the more she will try every means to get it, and therefore she often falls into an emotional whirlpool and is unable to extricate herself.
In the TV series "Pink Girl", Fang Xiaoping, a marriage madman, feels that she is mediocre in appearance and no one will love her at all.
But the more she thought about it, the more anxious Fang Xiaoping became to get married.
Even if you meet a random man, you will fantasize about getting married to him and get the pleasure of being loved.
It is conceivable that it is an illusion after all. In real life, Fang Xiaoping went among several men, and finally found that she was just a substitute for their feelings.
Women who lack love are always desperate for love, as if there is nothing worthwhile in this world except being loved.
But Fang Xiaoping's blind pursuit of love does not make her feel loved. Instead, she becomes a victim of love again and again.
Robert Nunberg said in his book "Lack of Love" that falling into passion means becoming blind and giving up vision, control and choice, which is to fall in passion.
thinks so.
In order to get love, a woman who lacks love always digs out her heart and lungs first, digging out the remaining love in her body to warm others.
This is a big gamble.
If the bet is won, a woman can get true love, but if the bet is lost, the pain of lack of love will be returned a thousand times.
If a woman who lacks love wants to get love, the first thing she must do is love herself.
Only when you love yourself enough can you be worthy of being loved.
" The Distant Savior " writes that women are not cute because they are loved, but they are loved because they are cute.
Only when a woman calms down can she feel the love in the world and learn how to communicate with others, how to love herself, and how to get love.
May you be lovely, loving and loved all your life.
Author: Yunzhong. Keep writing.
