Do women who leave without their children after divorce really not miss their children? I am the child left by my mother to my father.
When I was 10 years old, my mother found out that my father was cheating on his best friend. My mother's best friend has a very good relationship with our family. I have often stayed at her house since I was a child, and her children often stay at my house. My father worked in engineering at that time, and he contracted a section of the 318 National Highway , so our family was in good condition. In the 1990s, my dad used a mobile phone worth more than 10,000 yuan. After
was discovered by my mother, my father asked for a divorce. During the divorce, my mother discovered that all the deposits had been transferred. My father only had a ridiculous 17 yuan in his bankbook. All the properties were either sold or transferred to my aunt. At that time, there was no such thing as illegal transfer of joint property between husband and wife. My mother, a simple and stupid woman, never thought of depositing a dime in her own account and leaving a house in her own name.
So, my mom married my dad when she was 25, gave birth to me when she was 26, and then quit her job to take care of me. After being a housewife for 10 years, she got divorced at the age of 36 and was kicked out of the house. At this time, both my grandparents had passed away. She wanted to temporarily live in a room in the old house, find a job and have money before moving out, but her three so-called brothers collectively opposed her and refused to let her move in. The three so-called sisters-in-law beat her up, smashed her only luggage, a box of clothes, and refused to let her in. Although the money for rebuilding this house was still half of what my mother gave me back then, and even though my mother funded their children’s education back then. Thinking about it now, it’s really ridiculous...
In the end, the court awarded me to my father on the grounds that my mother had no job, no income, no housing, and no ability to support her.
And my father said in court that he didn’t want it.
Because I am a girl, and his mistress patted her chest and told him that she had found someone else and that her second child must be a boy (the mistress and her ex-husband also have a daughter).
My grandparents said they wanted it.
I have been growing up next to my grandparents since then. I was not spoiled. Instead, I became a pleaser. Although my grandparents, aunts and uncles have always been nice to me because they pity me, I am still very scared. I'm afraid that one day they will feel bad about me and suddenly don't want me anymore. At the age of 10, I learned to observe people's emotions, how to understand what others think, and what to do to make others treat me better. What’s even more frightening is that from that time on, I began to think about what kind of woman would make a man like her more, and like her enough not to abandon her.
My father has never given any money to my grandparents, never. Before I was in high school, all my tuition, food, clothing, housing and transportation came from my grandparents’ retirement salary and funding from my aunts and uncles.
I get up early every Saturday, call my dad and ask him if he wants to see me today and can he take me out to play? If he told me to come, I would move a small bench and sit on the balcony to wait for the whole day. I would eat on the balcony all day long. When I saw his license plate, I would rush down immediately.
The funny thing is that the most common situation is that he says he is not available, or asks me to wait from day to night and never comes at all.
What do you want to ask my mother? For a woman like my mother, saying that the Clay Bodhisattva crossed the river would be a compliment to her. She had no choice but to go to Zhejiang to seek refuge with my third aunt. At the age of 36, she dragged a broken box and started working in a place where she couldn't understand the dialect at all. What did I do at first? Wash the dishes.
At first, my third aunt rented her a house and a garage, or a half-divided garage. There was only a small bed and a table in it.
I would go there to accompany her every winter and summer vacation. My mother slowly changed from dishwashing to guest house cleaning lady, and from a house with half a garage to a whole garage.
There are no windows, it is airtight, and it is dark. A small white woven lamp makes it difficult to see clearly even when writing homework. There are a lot of chicken cooks nearby, so from time to time there will be sleazy men knocking on the door. When you walk there, you will often be regarded as that kind of profession, and men will come up to ask for the price. Because the environment here is smoky, the rent is cheap.
I was shocked when I went there for the first time. When my mother came back from work one day, I hugged her and cried, and she hugged me and cried too. Look, we can only hold each other and cry.
One is a teenage girl, and the other is an abandoned wife in her thirties and forties who was kicked out by her husband and her family at the same time. We can't do anything.
When we could only hold our heads and cry, my dad took my aunt to Beijing and Guilin, traveling all over the country, and having a great time.
My mother, doesn’t she miss me? She thought I was going crazy. When she went there, she was earning 600 yuan a month and could spend 200 yuan on calling me from a public phone. But what can she do? If she can survive, as long as she can survive, she will definitely take me with her. But the situation at that time, she took me with her, neither of us could survive.
She was unwilling to remarry at that time. My mother was good-looking and could be said to be very good. So many people wanted to introduce her, and some colleagues took the initiative to pursue her. But she refused at that time. She said that if she started another family, I would really have no family. Moreover, she was in her thirties, and if she had another child, I would really be alone. My mother didn't remarry until I got engaged. She said she was not willing to start a family until I had a family. She was already over fifty at this time.
God has eyes after all. After my father and my aunt got together, they were unlucky in any business and lost money. They even encountered two very weird spontaneous combustion accidents, which caused heavy losses. My dad also had various health problems and had three surgeries. Their son never came because my aunt had serious gynecological diseases and it was impossible for her to have another child. What she said back then was just a lie to my father.
All the previous properties in my family have been sold and lost. My aunt sold the last one for her daughter to buy a house, get married and pay a down payment for decoration. Her daughter married a man who had nothing. They live together now for more than ten years. Her grandson has always been taken care of by my father. They are a family.
A few years ago, my grandmother’s old house was demolished. I resolutely told my mother to come back and file a lawsuit with the receipts from the house construction. After a year and a half of wrangling with a lawyer, my mother was finally awarded half of the real estate and three houses. My mother had already married away from Zhejiang, and all the local houses were given to me.
My stepfather is in the jewelry business. He is from Zhejiang. My mother went into business with him. Over the past few decades, he bought me two more apartments in Hangzhou, one in Suzhou and one in Ningbo . My stepfather is very good to my mother. Based on his conditions, many 30-year-old women wanted to be with him, but he chose my mother, who is in her fifties. He also paid for my marriage and childbirth just like my biological father. By the way, when I got married and my grandfather passed away, my aunt was not allowed to marry from her family and arrange the funeral hall. What a joke. I have to take away all my houses from her shabby house? I won't do anything he begs me to do. The custom here is that the mourning hall is placed in the son's house, and if there are many sons, it is placed in the eldest son's house. She wanted to declare her sovereignty and said that it was her daughter's son-in-law's house, not my father's, so she did not allow my grandfather to have a mourning hall.
My father, now old, has begun to realize that he may have a miserable ending in his old age. Now he has started to contact me to talk about family ties. He also said that he will definitely come to take care of me when he gets old in the future. Haha... If it weren't for the kindness of my grandparents, aunts and uncles, I wouldn't have paid for his surgery the year before last. As soon as his family members took him to the hospital, they called me and my grandma, and then they each had other things to do. They gave my number to the doctor and told me to contact him at this number.
After the operation, I asked him if you could see clearly? He was furious and said that I had a dark mind and maliciously slandered his family. Then I left and never looked at him again. And his family began to spread the word that I was an unfilial daughter, and the old man didn't even bother to have surgery, while they were in the hospital every day. When the news reached my ears, I just smiled and said that next time you ask them who paid for the surgery, why did it happen that when they were sent to the hospital, the whole family had something to do and my dad was left there alone?
There are too many side questions, but after so many years, I suddenly want to say these words. It reminds me of how my mother and I were separated from each other, how worried and helpless we were.
# Riding the Wind and Waves of Life##I create in the headlines##Open my life diary#
