When a colleague makes a small report behind the scenes, mature people will not face confrontation, nor will they ask the leader to complain

01 The root of the ambiguity lies in the lack of interpersonal relationship stratification. , Is also kind, and is affectionately called "Ding Dad" by young colleagues in the department. If you encounter any problems at work, you will find Lao Ding for help as soon as possible, and Lao Ding will also answer accordingly.

Some time ago, the department manager retired, and the leader decided to screen among the existing outstanding employees. People with strong comprehensive ability can be promoted to the head of the department. When all colleagues feel that Lao Ding is the best department manager When selecting candidates, the reality slapped everyone in the face severely, and the leader chose Liu Tao, who had become ordinary in the department, to be the leader.

Later, a colleague said that when I was passing by the general manager’s office that day, I accidentally heard Liu Tao making a small report with the leader, saying that the last project failed because Lao Ding kept on the horns and refused to give in. of. The leader naturally looked calm after hearing this, and then told Liu Tao to pay attention to the actions of the staff in the department and report anything to him at any time.

After listening to everyone, Lao Ding is unfair. On the one hand, everyone knows that the last project failure was due to Lao Ding’s persistence, but if we do not persist, the company will Suffering greater losses, on the other hand, Lao Ding usually treats Liu Tao like his own children, but he did not expect that he would be the closest person to him in the end stabbing himself. Everyone was agitated, some said they wanted Liu Tao's theory, and some said they wanted to explain the situation to the leader, but in the end they were all rejected and obstructed by the old Ding.

Later, Lao Ding said to everyone that unfairness in the workplace abounds. If everything is focused, you can fight for reasons and distinguish the reasons. It will not only hurt your colleagues, but also your own promotion. The road will become narrower and narrower. Don't complain when you encounter problems. You can't change others. You can start with yourself. If you are right, it will come to light eventually.

This remark of Lao Ding had a very big impact on my entire career in 2019. At work, each of us will encounter the phenomenon of genuinely wrong payment and being stabbed in the back by the most trusted person. The essential reason for this phenomenon is actually because we did not have a good layering of our interpersonal relationship. As a result, anyone can "close up" and cause fatal harm to us.

02 Organize interpersonal relationships and manage contacts in a hierarchy

In the workplace, we will meet a lot of people. If everyone connects with each other, we will only make ourselves lose a lot. awful. Everyone hopes that their colleagues like themselves. A colleague of mine has been stubborn because of interpersonal matters. The reason is because the company has an intern and gets along well with everyone, except that he doesn’t like my colleagues. Even if the interns resigned later, their colleagues were still unhappy because of this incident, wasting their limited energy on unworthy people, resulting in their social value declining.

People’s energy is very limited. Colleagues who love to make small reports and arrogant abound, and the nature of a person is difficult to change. Instead of entanglement will only hurt both sides, it is better to focus time and energy on useful people. Mutual growth, mutual achievement. Therefore, we must learn to classify colleagues:

1. Intimacy layer: Colleagues in the intimate layer must be a type of person who can achieve each other with you. The work is friendly competition and mutual motivation. Gentlemen, in life, are close friends who help each other out of troubles. Such a person must be the object you focus on maintaining and spending time with, because he will play a vital role in your future development.

2. Interpersonal layer: Interpersonal layer is a more upright type of people in the workplace. Although they don’t usually have too much deep communication, they will not harm you and can be sincere. treat.

3. Social layer: Colleagues in the social layer are not recommended to investToo much energy, after all, in the workplace, a defensive heart is indispensable, and there will be people who are too mixed. It is inevitable that there will be good people. For such colleagues, it is not recommended to have deep friendship, but to respect each other.

03 Colleagues also have a "seven-year itch"

Many times, when colleagues get along, there will be a "seven-year itch" between couples, because one A little thing, tacit partners will look at each other and be bored. At this time, we need to establish the correct understanding to avoid the intensification of conflicts and the breakdown of the relationship.

1. Interpersonal tolerance

Interpersonal tolerance refers to how many people you can establish a deep relationship with, that is, how many people you can accommodate. Many times, we will deliberately avoid looking at ourselves, which leads to no way to accept others. If we want to establish good interpersonal relationships, all we have to do is to strive to improve our interpersonal tolerance.

2. The 4 stages of interpersonal communication

Ideal period: see the other side meets expectations. I also try to show the good side to the other side, and will hide my shortcomings in a planned way.

Conflict period: accusing each other and self-blaming turn to avoidance. After a period of communication, I will find that the other person is not as perfect as I thought, I will feel a little lost, my shortcomings will gradually be exposed, and I will become guilty and conflicted.

Integration period: evaluate the gap together and grow in the relationship. Through running-in, grow continuously, find the part of empathy, and be good at accepting each other.

Co-creation period: Accept each other's shortcomings and face uncertainty together. After truly understanding each other's shortcomings, accept each other and complete the common goal together.

04 How to deal with workplace relationships with multiple roles?

1. To the boss: Respect first and then run in

Every leader, since he can reach this position, he must have his superiority, whether it is for dealing with others or professional skills. There is something worth learning. When encountering conflicts, we must first look at the problem from a global perspective, because leaders may consider the layout of the entire strategy, but we only think about the current results. When facing such conflicts, we must calmly communicate with the leaders. , Run in courteously and methodically, and then convince each other.

2. To colleagues: understand more carefully and support

often work together, look down with colleagues, and see each other's temperament after a long time. When you have an unnecessary dispute with a colleague, you must first consider the cause of the problem from the perspective of the other party, and avoid emotionally speaking hurtful things. At work, regardless of whether you are right or wrong, whether you are right or not, your image will be seriously damaged at the moment you quarrel with other people. On the other hand, it is also necessary to cautiously support the decisions of colleagues to avoid leaving leaders with gangs.

3. To customers: sociable contact

In the current fierce competitive environment, work can be replaced at any time, but the accumulated contacts are It’s not easy to lose out quickly. At work, you need to make more high-quality contacts and connect more privately to increase your relationship. Maybe when you encounter difficulties, there will be noble people to help you.

4. To subordinates: listen more carefully

In terms of work, there are only differences in position. As a leader, you should also be humble.Set an example in front of subordinates, take the initiative to help subordinates solve difficulties, be good at discovering the advantages of subordinates, listen to more guidance, and maximize the value of subordinates.

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Responsible Editor|Yuanyuan