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From a certain point of view, we trust a person too much and are completely undefended, which is actually giving the other person a chance to harm ourselves . Because from the moment you put your guard down, you are already defenseless in front of the other party. If he wants to hurt you, it will be easy.
This is why many people say that the people closest to you often hurt you the most.
The so-called heart of harm is indispensable, and the heart of defensiveness is indispensable. At any time, we can't tell ourselves all without reservation. Keeping privacy appropriately is the best protection for ourselves. .
The following three secrets, no matter how good your relationship with the other party is, it is best not to reveal them lightly.
You think that the so-called confidant will have the same heart with you, but in fact, the human heart is separated from the belly after all. The more you have no reservations about him, the easier it is to let this relationship fade.
1: Your negative views of others
In the Mexican TV series "Recovery Action", Isabella’s secrets about others’ bad things were leaked by her friends in order to retaliate. A friend who leaked her secrets, she began to leak information about her friends to a hacker.
in order to retaliate against friends who leaked their secrets, and leaking the secrets of their friends is a vicious circle and cannot solve the problem.
At the beginning,Don't jokingly and maliciously evaluate the third person in front of your friends, that's the real point.
In fact, everyone will more or less have negative opinions or evaluations of others in their hearts, but as long as they are not the kind of deep hatred and nowhere to vent, it is fine to digest them silently in their own hearts. It is necessary to speak quickly and tell your friends.
Everyone's view of someone is not constant. As time goes by, contact increases, and various misunderstandings are eliminated, it is not impossible that the view will change. Therefore, there is no need to take such a negative evaluation momentarily.
The heart is separated from the belly, no one can fully understand the thoughts of another person, even if he is your close friend.
Once his relationship with you is cracked, or he has any thoughts of revenge against you, then every bad thing you said before will become the handle of others.
Two: Your own lofty ambitions
There is a classic line in the American movie "The Godfather": "Don't express your ideals easily, and don't give others a chance to laugh at you."
To put it this way, the so-called ideal is an aspiration that one has not realized or has not been able to realize. When you can't do it yourself, why should others believe you?
If you talk about your ideals frivolously with your friends, if your ideals are too big, you will still find it difficult to get feedback that satisfies you and is confident in yourself even in front of your closest friends.
friend’s surprised expression,It is a kind of ridicule and blow to you invisibly.
Another more normal situation is that for your self-esteem, your friend pretends to believe that you can do it, and gives you unrealistic encouragement every day, so that you will have a beautiful fantasy of achieving your ideals.
In this way, your rhythm will be disrupted. You no longer work hard, but use mental victory to paralyze yourself. In the end, it's just nothing.
3: My personal emotions
Su Shi was jealous of his friends and revealed the secrets of his literary creation, and unfortunately ended up in jail. Wutai Poetry Case.
Shen Kuo had always regarded himself as a friend of Su Shi, but after Wang Anshi and Su Shi belonged to two political factions, the interests of Shen Kuo and Su Shi also conflicted.
As a literary poet, Su Shi naturally expresses his emotions in his poems. When drinking with Shen Kuo, Shen Kuo actually copied all these poems.
Su Shi didn't care at the time, but he didn't expect that Shen Kuo would submit these poems to the court and frame Su Shi for being unfaithful.
Human minds are inherently changeable, and the relationship between people is also extremely fragile. Nowadays, the confidant may not be a friend. On the day when the relationship breaks, the weakness that you expose will become a bargaining chip for the other side's revenge.
Everyone has times when they have negative emotions,There is no need to treat others as emotional trash cans. Blindly pour out, not only will affect others, but also put yourself in danger, so the gain is not worth the loss, why bother.
The stamens still need to be left blank to make themselves look more beautiful, and everyone needs to always keep a space not to be violated.
Friends can share a lot of things. You have a good memory to prove the innocence of the relationship. It is not necessary for two people to be honest with each other. That is an unbearable vacuum in this relationship. state.
Many emotions and secrets are only suitable for oneself to digest silently.
Learning to restrain one's desire to share, not being able to hold things in one's heart, is an expression of immaturity. The first step to maturity is to learn to be alone with yourself.
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