Text/Xiaofan Emotion
In " Parents Love ", Lao Ding is a very complicated character.
He is very handsome. Dehua saw him for the first time, and after returning home, he told An Jie that the man opposite was really good-looking.
He is very smart. Jiang Defu went to see An Jie for the first time. He took his pen down and gave Jiang Defu a face. Later, the Jiang family encountered many things, big and small, and it was Lao Ding who was helping to make suggestions, and even Jiang Defu said that he was a "dog head soldier."
He has had two marriages. The first time he and Wang Xiu'e were arranged by his parents, Lao Ding had an unhappy life. The second time Dehua loved him terribly, Lao Ding didn't like it at first, but finally, forced by reality, he married Dehua without a choice.
Wang Xiu'e gave him four sons, and Dehua gave him a daughter. Like Jiang Defu, he has five children.
It stands to reason that Lao Ding has married twice in his life and has five children. He should be happy. When I watched "Parents Love" for the third time, I realized that Lao Ding was simply lonely in this life. This loneliness is not the company of a companion around him, but the loneliness in his heart, because even if he married Dehua, he never fell in love with her. A scene in the play easily exposed his heart, Lao Ding is destined to live a lifeless life.
1Blessed
The marriage of Lao Ding and his first wife, Wang Xiu'e, was a tragedy. He didn't love her, but just married her at the orders of his parents. After marriage, Wang Xiu'e gave him four sons. Although Lao Ding was dissatisfied with the marriage, the arrival of his four sons satisfies the old tradition of having many children and happiness in the hearts of men in the big environment at that time.
He and Wang Xiu'e don't speak a common language, and they are not used to many of Wang Xiu'e's practices. For example, Wang Xiu'e incited Dehua to quarrel with An Jie. He stopped her and accused her of fearing that the world would not be chaotic. At this time, Wang Xiu'e always exposes him mercilessly, saying that he is eating the bowl and looking at the pot, saying that he likes An Jie.
Has Lao Ding ever liked Anjie?
did,But this is the same as ordinary people. Everyone has a special feeling for someone who has a good impression. This kind of like can be said to be admiration, or it can be said to be respect, but it is definitely not love. What's more, Lao Ding is not the kind of person who walks in the dark.
Some people say that Lao Ding is a real man in this life. He is different from Jiang Defu. He did not abandon his uneducated wife, but Jiang Defu planned to divorce Zhang Guilan from the beginning. Even if Zhang Guilan did not cheat, Jiang Defu would still find a chance to divorce her. .
It is also said that Lao Ding is affectionate and righteous. He has not remarried for many years after Wang Xiu'e died, unlike Wang Zhenbiao who was about to marry Ge Meixia when his wife's bones were still cold.
I think Lao Ding is not that good, but not that bad either. He is just a reflection of countless ordinary people of us. Lao Ding did not abandon Wang Xiu'e on the one hand because he has a conscience, on the other hand it is also a reality. First, there were not many men abandoning their wives in those days. If someone did something like this, they would be pointed out by a lot of people. The second old Ding didn't like Wang Xiu'e at first, but he still agreed to marry her. Since he was unwilling to disappoint his parents and marry Wang Xiu'e as his wife from the beginning, after Wang Xiu'e entered the door to give birth to his son, he was even less likely to betray his wife and abandon his son. That thief, because after having a grandson, his parents will protect their grandson and daughter-in-law even more.
As for the fact that he did not remarry a few years after Wang Xiu'e passed away, one possibility is that he does not want to find it for the time being, and the other possibility is that he did not meet the right one for the time being. Old Ding's situation was worse than Wang Zhenbiao's It's not a bit of a star. When Wang Zhenbiao's wife died, Wang Haiyang had grown up. Besides, Wang Zhenbiao had only one son, Wang Haiyang. No matter who he remarried, the woman didn't need to take care of the children after he got married, and didn't have to pay too much.
But he did not say that Lao Ding had four sons. Wang Xiu'e died of dystocia when he was born with four sons. A child in the infancy, plus the above three underage sons, who wants to be the stepmother of the four sons? No matter who marries him, he has to put in tremendous energy and hard work, and must raise and take care of four children. In this case, if a woman is willing to choose him, she really needs courage.
Moreover, Old Ding also had an idea in his mind,He wanted to marry an educated woman like An Jie. Therefore, in comparison between the two, Lao Ding did not remarry for many years after Wang Xiu'e died.
Judging from Lao Ding's dislike of Wang Xiu'e, he is not very good to his wife on weekdays. When Jiang Defu gets home, he cooks and washes the dishes, and Lao Ding will sit there and read the newspaper.
It's nothing if he doesn't help his wife in housework. We can analyze from Wang Xiu'e that he has An Jie in his heart, and Lao Ding is not good to his wife. If he treats his wife well, Wang Xiu'e can feel When he loves him, he will feel safe, he will not keep talking about An Jie, and he will not be ecstatic when he knows that An Jie is going to find Jiang Defu on the island.
Such a sad woman, she dedicated everything to her husband, knowing that her husband does not have her in his heart, but she has no choice but to use constant complaints to remind her husband of her existence and grievances. But her reminders and complaints fell in Old Ding's ears and it was annoying.
There is a plot in the play. Once again, Wang Xiu'e said that Lao Ding likes An Jie again. Lao Ding who was washing his feet was so angry that he dropped the towel and called out. This day would not be possible. He went to sleep in the dormitory angrily. It happened that Jiang Defu was also there. Jiang Defu told him about Anjie and Dehua Lao fighting. Lao Ding said a word at the time, which directly exposed his marital status.
He said: "At least you still feel good in your heart, and I don't even feel good in my heart." Just this sentence made us sympathize with this man but angered him too deeply.
He has never been happy in his marriage, he is suffering. But who is to blame for his pain? Now that you accept the arrangement of fate, let yourself let go of all the obsessions in your heart, and live your life well. Your wife is illiterate and you can guide him. Husbands and husbands originally influence each other and penetrate each other. Jiang Defu is also uneducated, but An Jie has no rectification. God is entangled in this matter.
But Lao Ding has been living in pain.
Lu Yao wrote in " Ordinary World ": Life is unpredictable,There is no eternal pain, nor eternal happiness, life is like running water, sometimes so flat, sometimes so tortuous.
No one is born with happiness, and no one is born with all things going smoothly. Life is a combination of pain and joy. We also see everything through the pain and despair after repeated pains and gains and losses, and turn pain into progress. The motivation to grow and sail.
Now that you have married a wife and have children, you should let go of those obsessions in your heart, instead of enjoying the care of your wife while comparing your wife with other women. You must know that there are no two leaves that are the same in this world. People can’t be used to make comparisons. If you blindly compare your wife’s shortcomings with other women’s strengths, isn’t that a problem for yourself?
Don’t fight for
A few years after his wife’s death, Lao Ding met his ideal woman. Ge Meixia is the daughter of a fisherman. She has been well-educated since she was a child and she is also beautiful. Speaking sternly, one eye has a spectrum. The two soon fell in love and reported their marriage to their superiors, but they were opposed by Wang Zhenbiao, saying that they were inappropriate. The situation that Lao Ding encountered was exactly the same as that of Jiang Defu when he married An Jie. Jiang Defu did not give up. He told An Jie that he would never give up until the last moment. He worked tirelessly and finally married An Jie as he wished.
But Lao Ding gave up without any effort. He told Jiang Defu: He has an eighty-year-old father and four sons who are like tigers and wolves to raise, so he can't go home, and he doesn't dare to risk his political life. So he gave up his feelings with Ge Meixia.
What Lao Ding said is certainly one of the reasons, but he still loves himself most because he is very smart and he weighed the pros and cons of things.
When Jiang Defu insisted on marrying An Jie, Secretary Yang advised him to think well: If you took off this uniform for her, you would be nothing, and what would she love you for?
Lao Ding also understood in his heart,The reason why Ge Meixia, a 30-something-year-old girl, has been delayed until now is because of her high spirits, but because of her family background, she has always been high and low. So, for such a high-spirited woman, when he takes off her military uniform and returns to the fields for her, can she still look at the farmer Lao Ding who has four sons?
Lao Ding thought these things very clearly, so he gave up directly. What he told Jiang Defu was the obvious reason, but in fact there were deeper reasons he was embarrassed to say. That is, he is not confident or sure about the relationship between Ge Meixia and him. He puts his own future above all else.
There is nothing wrong with Lao Ding’s thinking this way. This is reality, and his worries are reasonable. If he really disarms and returns to the fields, with Ge Meixia’s personality, he will probably not follow him back to his hometown to farm. Then, he will be old. Ding just lost his wife and broke down again, leaving nothing.
If he had this uniform, he would meet a more suitable candidate sooner or later. Why would he be stubborn on a tree?
He was with Wang Xiu'e before, and he envied Jiang Defu all day for marrying an educated An Jie. Now when he meets Ge Meixia, he can finally get what he wants, but he chooses to give up because of Wang Zhenbiao's words. He is unwilling to make a little effort. To exchange for the opportunity, not even to fight for it.
If he tries his best to fight for, then even if the final result is not satisfactory, at least he will not regret it. If he gives up directly like this, he will definitely regret it later. Obviously that was the ideal woman he had thought of for half his life. If he married Ge Meixia, he could get what he wanted, but he gave up easily. This matter will definitely become his mind. Because people will keep in their hearts what they can’t get.
Liu Na once said: The so-called fate is not that we are strangled by fate and have to raise our hands again and again. It's that we live in the familiar taste of the past, and escape the current growth and responsibilities.
Lao Ding’s fate shouldn’t be like this originally. We look at his marriage. Almost every time, he bowed his head to fate first, and then let himself live in pain. He is pitiful,It makes people feel distressed, and even more embarrassing.
Do not accept
Lao Ding marries Dehua, it is a compromising to bow to reality. Because he had already fallen in love with Ge Meixia and Wu Yizhu, the first time he was not allowed by his superiors, and the second time he was deceived by Wu Yizhu. He has no choice. He and the child need a woman to take care of him. Besides, Dehua is uneducated, and everything else is good. Therefore, Lao Ding chose Dehua.
For many years before, Dehua cooked and washed clothes for him and his children.
He proposed to Dehua on a normal day. He watched Dehua clean up his house and wash his clothes. At that moment, he suddenly felt that this woman who had not been taken seriously by him had many advantages, so he asked Dehua if he would like to form a family with him.
It can be said that he decided to marry Dehua, not like, not love, he did not think carefully beforehand, just a whim in an accidental scene, his decision was very hasty. Before he even offended Jiang Defu and his wife did not agree to marry Dehua, and finally chose Dehua. We can understand his painstaking efforts. So he made a decision in a hurry, because he and Dehua don't need to know each other, they are already familiar enough.
At the very beginning, he did not accept Te Hua. Later, after being hit twice in succession, she finally no longer had any illusions, and then accepted De Hua's fate. And gave birth to a daughter.
On the surface, he and Dehua had a good time, but in fact, when Ge Meixia was about to marry Wang Zhenbiao, a shot inside revealed his heart, and he never let go of Ge Meixia.
Don't let it go
Many years later, Wang Zhenbiao's wife passed away. Ge Meixia and Wang Zhenbiao were about to get married, and Jiang Defu was specially invited to be a matchmaker. An Jie also worried about not agreeing. Because he and Ge Meixia failed for a while before, An Jie was afraid that Old Ding would feel uncomfortable when they knew that they would be a matchmaker for Ge Meixia. Jiang Defu is happy to be a matchmaker. Jiang Defu is not a nosy person,Why is it so positive this time?
He said to An Jie that if you marry Ge Meixia sooner, Lao Ding will stop thinking about it, so Dehua's marriage will be strong. At that time, Dehua and Lao Ding had already given birth to demos. Jiang Defu also said this.
Jiang Defu and Lao Ding are comrades-in-arms and good friends for many years. They know each other thoroughly. He knows that Lao Ding is the Dehua that was forced to marry because of reality. He also knows that Lao Ding has not been reconciled, so he will say that he will marry Ge Meixia as soon as possible. If you go out.
Think carefully, is Jiang Defu’s remark the same as Wang Xiu’e said before? Wang Xiu'e had always said that Old Ding had An Jie in his heart, but there was no other way. At last, he was overjoyed when he heard that An Jie was going to the island. Jiang Defu was also eager for Ge Meixia to marry out quickly, so that his sister's marriage would be more guaranteed.
And we can see Lao Ding's heart even more from the scene on the eve of Ge Meixia preparing to get married.
Ge Meixia wants to leave the island with Wang Zhenbiao after getting married, so Anjie invites her to have coffee at home. When Ge Meixia was there, Jiang Defu went to work and greeted Ge Meixia, and Lao Ding also went to work, but when he saw them, he lowered his head and speeded up his pace. When Jiang Defu saw him, he ran to catch up with Lao Ding. He even yelled Old Ding a few times and ignored him.
Jiang Defu smiled and said that you are all right, Lao Ding said, what's the matter with me? If you are okay, go and enlighten the woman. Speaking, Old Ding swung his head in Ge Meixia's direction.
Jiang Defu also teased him. Why am I going to enlighten people, they are getting married, and I am very happy.
Old Dinghu grunted. Jiang Defu said: You don't need to hum, you can't hum if it's not yours, and you can't hum if it's yours. Do you think this is true?
Old Ding angrily said: Don't bullshit, what do I have to do with her?
In fact, Lao Ding's words just proved his guilty conscience.
This shows that although he lived with Dehua after marriage, he did not really forget Ge Meixia from the bottom of his heart. If a man faces his ex-girlfriend with a calm expression and natural expression, it means that he is facing the past. That feeling is really relieved,On the contrary, it shows that he has not forgotten.
He married two wives and was unsatisfactory, both of them will be married, but Dehua is a little better, because Dehua has learned the big picture with her sister-in-law and learned the wisdom of life. Besides, Dehua is really good in other aspects except for her lack of education. The most rare thing is that she is kind to his children. Unlike Doctor Wu, who actually bullied his son with Lao Ding behind his back.
Actually, every man has a white moonlight in his heart. Ge Meixia is Lao Ding's unwillingness, so he can't forget it.
But he was able to marry Dehua, it is really his blessing. It was God who saw that he had been lonely for half his life and arranged for him the most suitable match.
Yan Geling said: The reason why a person is human is that he has a hateful and loving, funny and pathetic humanity, and humanity is unpredictable and unreliable. And its endless changes, there is no lack of sin, meaty and sensuality, it is the charm of human nature.
Lao Ding is smart, witty, upright and kind. He also has the same desires as ordinary people. He wants to have a beautiful and educated lover like Anjie. This is human nature. But he shouldn't live in his own fantasy all the time, although it seems nothing on the surface, once he encounters something, he reveals his true inner thoughts, just like he saw Ge Meixia.
Such him, if he stays in entanglement and refuses to let go, he is destined to live very awkwardly.
I am Xiaofan, a post-70s who loves to read books and tell stories, continue to share reading dry goods and emotional stories, pay attention to me, and grow up with you.
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