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Text | Wind Stop Night
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Everyone has their own EQ and IQ. Some people laugh at themselves dull, some people feel good about themselves. But the actual form of double quotient is hidden in the communication between people.
Interpersonal relationship is a compulsory course for everyone to survive. Every time they meet and meet, there is the possibility that "no one has a thousand days, and a flower does not have a hundred days red". It's just that smart people use the best way to get along and win long-term healthy relationships.
Some people always feel that they are very popular, and they can be "tacit" friends with anyone, but only after encountering difficulties or the baptism of the relationship over time, they realized that they turned around and there was nothing behind them. one person.
Some people may not be good at talking, but the only two or three old knowledge left are enough to keep them warm throughout their lives.
In the final analysis, there is only one "degree" of the necessary factors that determine the length of the relationship in the interaction with people. This degree can be a distance, a principle, or a bottom line...
In short, if there is a degree of relaxation, the relationship will be longer.
this world,No one can really get along with another person unselfishly. When faced with some conflicts of spiritual resonance and conflicts of material interests, once a sense of psychological imbalance emerges, mutual care can no longer be restored to the former comfort level.
As the saying goes: You must not have the heart to hurt others, and you must not have the heart to defend against others.
We must not treat people other than ourselves because we are truly unguarded because of our "relationship in place". Otherwise, we may not even be able to find the tune of crying.
There is also an old saying: the speaker is unintentional, the listener is intentional.
says that if you talk with people, you will lose. The more you talk, the easier it will be for the other party to take advantage of the loopholes. When the relationship ends, you will only be left with a blank face.
Don’t eat rice or talk nonsense. In the communication between people, no matter how good the relationship is, don’t do these three things. It is a kind of great wisdom:
1: Remember "I am an outsider"
"No "Treat yourself as an outsider" is a taboo and common problem that many people commit when dealing with others. Any kind of relationship getting too close is a disaster.
Associating with people, once the relationship gets too close, it is easy to put too high expectations because you don't think of yourself as an outsider. In the end, expectations fall, and the relationship is either face-to-face and heart-to-heart, or it ends in the fastest form.
Once people get too close, it is easy to cause the following two forms of getting along:
① Desire to control: because we feel "we are so good",You should "do something for me or understand what I say and do", and this kind of moral kidnapping and controlled desire should be a weapon to destroy a relationship.
②The boundary line of losing health: Because I feel that the relationship is close to the point where it is indistinguishable from each other, I often forget to leave blank for myself. Perhaps, in my own heart, how the other person does things that are intimate with me, I will rejoice, but it may not be so in the other person's heart.
What's more, once the relationship loses the effective distance, each other will gradually move from enjoying intimacy to "boring to be embarrassed to speak", and finally they will keep their distance and distance in a tacit understanding.
People's left and right hands will not shake each other for 24 hours. Most of the time, they are independent and cooperate with each other to appear so harmonious and matched.
If the left hand and the right hand are intertwined for 24 hours, then both hands must be "injured" in the loss of freedom due to poor blood flow and inconvenience.
When getting along with people, don't get too close to yourself as an outsider. A proper sense of distance is the most comfortable way to get along with people.
2: Don’t get too involved in each other’s private affairs
In real life, there are so many "friends" who are willing to play the banner of "good for you". Do something that is too involved in the private affairs of others.
In people's traditional thinking, people who have a close relationship with them have all kinds of difficulties, and they will be desperate for themselves. So that the phenomenon of "good intentions do bad things",It's not uncommon to see people getting along with each other.
Because of the good relationship, the other party quarreled with your lover. You drank with your friend all night to relieve your sorrow. As a result, the conflict between your friends' feelings was aggravated, and your friend's lover even became disgusted with you. In the end, a friend and a lover have a fight at the end of the bed, and you have become a nosy master.
Because the relationship is good, so you do something with two ribs for the other party. Finally, they shake hands and make peace. You are embarrassed...
Moderately. Not everything can be pierced.
A knife that is inserted well is called "Yiqi", and if it is not inserted, it is called "Thank you and thank you."
No matter how good the relationship is, don’t forget the fact that people are "individuals". The kindness of ideas and dedication given to others may not really bring benefits to others.
If you weren't overconfident in your abilities and overestimating your relationship, how could you make yourself into embarrassing situations?
It is a kind of mature wisdom to understand "not too much" in the other party's private affairs.
If the other party wants you to make up your mind, don't give some narrow suggestions too extreme and one-sided and unstructured. You have to stand in a neutral position and give ways and methods suitable for the other party's current predicament.
In addition, the other party should point out the shortcomings appropriately. Don't protect the shortcomings and condone because of the good relationship.This is not what a healthy relationship should be.
3: Don't expose your personal affairs too much
People who live a lifetime are often the ones who know more about themselves, the more they can dig holes and hurt themselves the most.
From ancient times to the present, I don’t know how many people have suffered from the loss of good relationships and the sins brought about by good relationships.
A cousin from a distance was too honest to share his inner secrets with his "good buddies" without reservation. At that time, because the relationship was still relatively good at the joyous stage of the two lives, the "good buddies" also stood from the cousin's point of view and supported all his cousin's thoughts and behaviors.
Later, the cousin did not give the "good buddy" help in time due to special issues, and the "good buddy" began to slander his cousin. It was only half a year since my cousin knew about it and learned from others that his secret had been released to the public... My secret is no longer a secret. Too much trust in others and too much presumption on a certain relationship is destined to be forever.
In this world, there have never been eternal friends, only eternal interests. There are very few or no people who really want you to be good.
In real life, the person who sees your jokes is often the person with whom you determine the relationship. You never know what kind of role you are in the eyes of the other person in this determined relationship.
get along with people,Don't start to think that your relationship is indestructible and can be honest and honest just because the other party said a few good things.
Being frank is certainly a prerequisite for interpersonal communication, but it does not mean that you have to reveal all your thoughts and secrets.
Don’t think of yourself as an outsider, don’t over-participate in other people’s private affairs, and don’t over expose your inner world. Your relationship is still good. Otherwise, the relationship you have decided will give you a fatal blow one day, and even make you riddled with holes.
Keep a reasonable distance, say appropriate words, give each other the most comfortable respect, and the relationship can be relatively long-term in each other's comfortable state.
—End—
Love is the purgatory of man in the world. Whether you are in love or friendship, you can cultivate a positive result when you meet the right person at the right time. I think the energy brought out by the text is positive, and it happens to make you like it. Click "Follow" and explore the true meaning of emotion with me!
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