That happened five years ago, and it still lingers in my heart. I only blame myself for a momentary evil thought, which hurt others and tortured myself.
I continued to take graduate studies after work, and I was married at that time. I study in Beijing, and my wife works in Wuhan. Although you can come back on the weekend, because the round-trip ticket is not cheap, we decided to meet again on holiday. Often in a state of lovesickness, especially at night when everything is silent, I feel more lonely. All of my roommates went on dates with my girlfriends. I was alone with the TV. The days were really tough!
I met her during an outing. The girl who exudes youth is like a lotus in a pond in midsummer, coming out so fresh and pleasant. I was so attracted to her, I forgot what it was tonight, let alone my married status. She smiled and clasped my heartstrings tightly, making me unable to control myself. Her figure and smile often appeared in my mind, and there was a thought in my heart: if she could fill my empty life, it would be great!
I started offensive. At that time, there were two competitors in the class. I thought that with my handsome face, it would be too shame to become a defeated champion, so I tried my best, tried my best, and talked sweetly, and finally got her heart. God seems to take special care of me, let me have two loves at the same time, I no longer feel empty. In the midsummer night, the twinkling stars are accompanied by the bright moon, and the lovely girl is accompanied by the intoxicated me. She gave so seriously and sincerely.
Although the days are sweet, the harshness of the students surrounds me,The guilt in my heart is getting heavier and heavier. Every time I see her innocent, it makes me panic and uneasy. I'm a married man who promises other girls that he will be a good husband. Where is my conscience?
can't help the torment in my heart. I told her frankly that she suddenly lost her smile. Looking at me in astonishment, tears burst into my eyes, crying like crazy: You are a big liar, a big liar! I have nothing to say. The next day, she cut her wrist and committed suicide. Fortunately, she was discovered in time. I trembled, begging for her forgiveness with a penitent heart. Lying in the hospital, she has a pale face and red eyes, biting her lips from time to time, without saying a word, letting tears gush down. I hate myself so much, I hate myself cruelly broken a girl who is full of longing for life.
After so many years, how I hope she can find a good home, but I heard that she has changed like a person, losing her cheerful mind and sweet and confident smile. How can I make up for all this? I have been living in regret for many years, and I can only pray sincerely, wishing her out of the shadows as soon as possible, regaining confidence, and living anew.
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