In the middle of the night, Lisa knocked on the door of her best friend Jiajia, carrying a huge suitcase with tears on her face. Jiajia's drowsiness was instantly shocked: "What's wrong? What happened? What about your strong family?" Lisa opened her mouth and burst into tears. Jiajia was afraid of disturbing the neighbors and hurriedly pulled her into the house.
It took half a box of tissues before Lisa stopped crying. She said that this time she ran away from home and the culprit was her husband Daqiang. Now it’s Jiajia’s turn to be anxious. Usually, her best friends often talk about her husband. What is it that caused her best friend to divorce him today?
It turns out that Daqiang is very good to people. . He is good not only to his wife, but also to his family, to his seven aunts and eight aunts, friends, colleagues, and even to neighbors and friends who nod their heads. Whoever encounters something that needs help, as long as you tell him, he will agree without saying anything; whoever is short of money, tell him the amount and account number through a phone call, and he will call the money as quickly as possible. Do not urge the other party to pay back the money. In short, no matter how big or small things are, you don’t have to think about it, you just say: "Go to the strong, he will surely be able to help you solve it!" "The strong never let his friends down, every time he gave it all. To help his friends We solve the problem. Therefore, everyone exaggerates Qiang's "righteousness", "happy", "meaning" "live Leifeng", and Daqiang is praised so full of energy that he can't wait to pack the whole family as a gift.
However, as the hostess of the family Lisa did not do it—"You sent the house out, what about me? Am I packaged and sent out by you, or stayed to clean up the mess? You gave the actual benefits to others, but Leave me with a bunch of'thank you' who can neither eat as a meal nor wear them as clothes. How can I live my life?"
After repeated protests were invalid, Lisa finally broke out: "I don't I have passed with you, and you will give you whatever you like. Follow whoever you like to help!"
Thinking about it, Lisa is not unreasonable. From her point of view, Daqiang's approach really makes people feel good. Can’t accept it. Objectively speaking,Daqiang is a good person, but also a "bad guy".
Why do you say that? Because Daqiang is helping others at the expense of family interests. It is not only himself who suffers, but also Lisa, because husband and wife are in an economic community. If Daqiang's loss was due to his will, then Lisa's loss was kidnapped by him. For Lisa, Daqiang is a "bad guy" to sacrifice and harm her interests without authorization.
You may ask: "Since Daqiang loves his wife so much, why should he harm Lisa's interests? If you love someone, shouldn't you swear to protect her interests?" The answer is simple. That is Daqiang is hitting the swollen face to fill the fat man.
What is a swollen face to fill a fat man? In short, it is harming one's own interests in exchange for an illusory benefit. This benefit includes reputation, praise, gratitude, and the resulting self-satisfaction.
For example, Daqiang, by damaging the interests of himself and his family, in exchange for a nice "thank you" from others, in exchange for false names such as "righteousness", "huo Leifeng", in exchange for "capable", "rich" and "a way" Wait for the false aura. Although he knew what the price he had paid, and that the benefits were illusory and insignificant compared to the actual benefits he had lost, he really enjoyed the floating feeling of being a "fat man" so much that he didn't care about it, so he could only follow suit. He walked up step by step with the ladder that others had set up for him.
However, don't think that Daqiang's behavior is completely considering the problem from the perspective of others, and everything he does is for the benefit of others. On the contrary, behind his behavior is entirely out of the psychological needs of the self.
Judging from Daqiang's behavior, he is a person who demands perfection. He hopes that in the eyes of others, he is a brave and omnipotent "hero" image, who can save people from fire and water at any time. He does not allow himself to reject others. In fact, he does not allow himself to show "powerlessness" about something and "helpless" for someone. He never admits that he is a fool, an incompetent person, or an "unjust" person. To this end, even if he devoted everything he did to it, he did not hesitate to do so.
Of course, Lisa did not divorce Daqiang later, they compromised. But it was not Lisa who compromised, but Daqiang. After his wife ran away from home, Daqiang finally realized how much his family members were hurt by his swollen face to fill the fat man. He thoroughly reflected on it and found that over the years, he did not apologize to anyone on the outside, but was really sorry on the inside. His most beloved person at home.
They don't have any deposits, because the money is lent to relatives and friends; the things in his house will disappear inexplicably. Because a friend borrows it, there is no return: "He seldom accompanies his wife to go shopping or watch movies, because he is always helping others on holidays and holidays; every time he wants to help his wife share housework, he will always be called one by one. Go to the emergency; the gifts he brought to his wife when he went out of the gap would also be taken by his colleagues to coax his wife...
He always thought that he was very good to his wife, and only now did he find out that he is good to his wife and good to others. In comparison, too little and too rough. His time and energy, and even money, were divided up by too many people, and finally allocated to his wife. It is already pitiful. What is this good for his wife?
He was a "good person" in front of other people, only in front of the closest people, only tired. Now, he finally found that he was not a "good person" at all, but a fool He gave the most important things to too many unimportant people, but ignored the most important people. Therefore, he decided to be a less "righteous", less "selfless", and less "capable" from now on People who don’t want to be "fraternity" and "perfect" people. After all, it doesn’t matter whether you’re a good person or not, happiness is the most important thing.
If you are still having a swollen face to fill a fat man, hope to be strong. The story can give you some inspiration.
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