Reposted from Weibo, author: Ran Jun’s Burning, Invasion and Deletion
Many people discourage women from DINK on the grounds that women have shorter reproductive functions than men. Generally women reach the age of infertility, and men can easily make women pregnant. And people's thinking changes with age. When I was young, I thought about being chic and freedom the most important, so I didn’t want children. When I was old, I suddenly wanted to have offspring, and the female could no longer have children, so the male usually regretted it, such as divorcing, marrying and giving birth, or privately. Health and so on. Use this to admonish women not to be stupid. Don’t be stupid because a man agrees to DINK, and you will only regret it later. Women always suffer from such things.
This phenomenon does exist. This is the case with a husband and wife of my colleagues. They agreed with DINK. At the age of 40, the man suddenly wanted to have a baby, but the woman still didn’t want to. So he divorced, the man remarried, and quickly gave birth to a son and a daughter. . Compared with the life of the ex-wife, a bunch of people are worthless for the ex-wife, they are all pitying her and sympathizing with her.
What do I think about this? I think people who think this way still tie their own values and life philosophy with those of others. Whether this other person is a real other person, or his own husband or relatives.
If a person wants DINK but does not want children, this is first of all one of his own values and life philosophy, rather than having to be consistent with a man. If your ideal in life is not to have children, you want to live a free life for a lifetime, and you don't want to be kidnapped by the inheritance of the ancestors, then this concept is your independence and your own thinking.
This idea of yours should not change because there is no man, or a man executes with you.
Because you are always loyal to your feelings. Assuming your lifelong ideal is not to have children, do you regret it when you see that everyone in the world has children? No way. Then the people in the world have changed with the addition of someone who used to be your husband? Theoretically, it should be unchanged.
can be understood in this way. I don't want children, and my husband said that he doesn't want children. Later, he wants children. My ideas conflicted with his ideas. Then I chose to separate from him and let him pursue his life, but I still adhere to my philosophy and life.
During this process, I didn't feel like I was taken aback. Because I don't like children myself, this is my choice. Even if I am fertile now, I will not choose to have a child for my husband because I regret it, because this is not what I want.
I will suffer and blame myself because I can't have children, but my husband is able to give birth. I feel that I have suffered a loss, and I feel that I have been abandoned. Am I so pitiful?
For women with this kind of thought, maybe 80% of DINK's heart was not firm at the time. It was because of the influence of the man or the decision made in order to cooperate with the man. This idea is not my own real, or at least an unstable idea. In other words, in fact, I really want children, but men want DINK, then forget it, then DINK.
Is there any woman who missed DINK when she was young, and later regretted it, but couldn't give birth. Of course there is wow. Human beings have unstable ideas. Life is long, any idea can change, let alone the idea of fertility. Other thoughts can be regretted, and DINK can also regret it.
But isn't it the way to be a person? Respect your true thoughts and bear the consequences for your thoughts and actions. If you choose, you will recognize it.
On TV that day, I saw a 90-year-old man still cooking by himself, dancing square dancing, playing mahjong, going to the hospital to see a doctor, and having trouble with his five children because of property problems, I thought. It's very clear. In fact, whether you have children or not, you still have to live your life with yourself.
.
