Summer vacation is here. In order to help more parents guide their children to make vacation plans, I would like to share the story of Zou Zou, the mother of Sanbao, with everyone. I hope it will be helpful to everyone!
01
Choose to plan and become an orderly person
It is very important to plan and find the appropriate goal.
Many children, if you talk to them about plans, their first reaction will be very resistant. At this time, you have to think about whether there is a problem with the goal of learning.
Because children feel that having a plan means no freedom.
At this time, you need to communicate well with your child:
Baby, this plan is your plan, not mine. You always have the right to make a choice.
However, there are 6% of people in the world who will make plans to become people with goals, they can live the life they want.
Most people have no plans, no goals, and their lives have no focus and are relatively chaotic.
Goals will give people a sense of direction. If achieved, they will give people a sense of accomplishment.
Do you choose to make plans and become an orderly person? Or do you choose not to plan and become a mess?
Even if a child was a little resistant to making plans a moment ago, after hearing such words, he will usually make the right choice.
When he makes this choice, give him a verbal reward in time: You are good at making choices.
Once this is done, the rest of the process will go much smoother.
Therefore, before making plans, parents need to listen to their children’s ideas and provide certain guidance.
Even if some children are resistant to planning, parents can listen to the reasons behind their resistance and provide correct guidance, they will be happy.
02
Planning should have achievable goals
A good goal must comply with the smart principle .
In fact, many people have plans, ideas and determination, but they don’t know what kind of goal is a good goal.
For example, for children, it is problematic to set such goals as improving Chinese language scores, increasing reading, developing language sense, completing all summer vacation homework within a week, memorizing 1,000 English words within six months, skipping rope every day, etc. It is bad and does not conform to the smart principle.
smart principle comes from management science. By mastering this principle, we can distinguish and identify what kind of goals are good goals.
smart The first word is s: clear, specific, not vague.
For example, the goal of trying to improve Chinese language scores is not specific enough. If the test score is no less than 85, this goal is specific.
smartThe second m is measurable .
For example, increasing the amount of reading and cultivating the sense of language cannot be measured, and it is difficult to achieve. If we say reading 2 books a week, it can be quantified, which is a good goal.
smart The third a: What can be achieved through hard work
It will be challenging, but it will not be so challenging that it will make people lose confidence and out of reach.
Therefore, to achieve what kind of goal, the actual situation of the child needs to be evaluated one by one.
For example, if your child’s usual score is about 60 points, and you set a goal for him to reach 90 points in one month, then this goal will be impossible for him to achieve.
When it comes to achievable goals, I do a lot of exploration with my children. Every time she sets a goal, I ask her, do you think this goal can be achieved after you step up and work hard?
When he said: "Mom, I can't seem to do it."
I took him to analyze why he couldn't do it? What are the achievable goals?
Then, we adjust the target. The fourth letter r of
smart: Relevance
The goals set must be related to other things. If we set the goal of reciting English words, setting goals in this way does not comply with the principle of relevance.
We need to understand, what is the purpose we want to achieve? What is it related to?
For example, memorizing words can help you read original books better, or improve your speaking level, which is consistent with relevance.
smart The last letter t is time-limited.
For example, if my goal is to jump rope 200 times per minute, change it to: I will jump rope 200 times per minute in a week, which stipulates a time limit;
If you don’t set a time limit, sometimes it seems that it is not a goal, but A good wish.
Therefore, we set node goals, weekly goals, and monthly goals according to the situation.
In this way, we can identify what kind of plan and goal is a good plan and goal?
will not lead the child astray, will not cause frustration, and will have a good start.
03
What plans and goals should we set with our children?
I will think about which modules I will build first and what goals I hope my children can achieve.
First, it is about learning.
In terms of learning, such as Chinese, I will ask the children, what is your current situation?
The child said: he cannot write many words, his reading comprehension is sometimes good and sometimes bad, and he does not like to write compositions.
He and I will formulate some targeted measures based on this current situation. For example: write a lesson every other day, which books to read during the summer vacation, accumulate some good words and sentences, etc.
I have emphasized from beginning to end that I don’t ask for too much homework, I just want him to master an idea, because there are more important things to do during the summer vacation.
When it comes to children's learning, I will accompany you on the journey, and you will go on your own.
In addition to learning goals, our family also has exercise goals, because exercise changes the brain.
The process of exercise will shape our brains neurotransmitters , such as dopamine , morphine peptides, serotonin , these will make us more active and progressive, and increase our physical fitness.
Our summer sports goals are badminton and swimming.
Housework goals
I tell my children: After you are 18 years old, you will face the world alone. By then, even if your parents want to help you do something, they may not be able to do it.
Therefore, I have trained your executive ability and your ability to do housework since childhood.
My child once said: Mom, you ask me to do housework. I don’t like it, but I have to learn it before I am 18 years old.
We intersperse the housework they can do, such as washing dishes, hanging clothes, and mopping the floor.
We also have the goal of emotional management, because the boss is weak in this area. I asked him to do emotional management, record how many times he cried a day, and also taught him some emotional management methods.
04
Develop a task execution list
Communicate with the children one by one. What needs to be done to achieve this goal?
When is the best time to complete it?
Based on his answer, help him write a task execution list, and he will clearly write down what will do at what time..
05
Feedback and regulation
After the goal is set, there are two other things that are very important. One is feedback and the other is difficulty control.
The best feedback is language. When he does well, he will be given timely language encouragement and a reward mechanism can also be inserted.
My approach is to give points in time and clear them once a week.
The reward mechanism is very important for children and will also be a good assist.
It is also very important for parents to supervise their children, because some children may achieve their goals in order to get rewards, which would put the cart before the horse.
I will pull him back to the goal set earlier and remind him of what I observed.
There is also verbal stimulation, which is also very good feedback. We really should not be stingy with our words of praise, and implement first- and second-level feedback.
For example, you are great and you did a great job. This is the first-level feedback;
The second-level feedback is to give the child a clear definition of doing well.
Each of us longs to be seen and affirmed, Therefore, we need to give these words to cultivate our children without hesitation.
About difficulty control: Comfort zone, learning zone, panic zone.
Comfort zone: Lying here, I feel quite comfortable, but there is no growth.
Learning Area: You can achieve it by tiptoeing, you can do it with a little effort, and you can grow.
Panic zone, even if I jump, I can't reach it.
The best area is the study area.
At the same time, I also gave children similar concepts in "Smart But Chaotic Children".
If you measure the difficulty from 0 to 10, a difficulty value of 3 is the best, which is the learning area.
I will ask the child to do a self-feedback in the form. Is he in the learning zone, the comfort zone, or the panic zone today?
If he is in the study area, I will think it is okay. If he is in the panic area, I will ask him:
Why? Why are you in the panic zone today?
Sometimes, my children tell me that today’s learning task is a bit difficult and I am a little unsure about it. I know that I am in the panic zone.
I understand them, what's wrong? What went wrong?
I think having a comfort zone a week is a very good way to adjust and relax.
END
Oral narration: Zou Zou
Compilation: Xiaoman
Extended reading:
![[Past tense] How was your summer vacation - Easy Dialogue - Role Play - DayDayNews](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/wy398w9QcB4/hq720.jpg?sqp=-oaymwEcCNAFEJQDSFXyq4qpAw4IARUAAIhCGAFwAcABBg==&rs=AOn4CLCKO9Ot6FlKiCEZjviJ_0cjd5Pddw)
