When the child comes to kindergarten in the morning, it is the busiest time for the small supermarket next to it, because many parents will meet certain small requirements of their children in order to make their children happy to go to school, such as buying a lollipop before going to kindergarten and buying a ham before going to kindergarten . If the parents refuse to buy, the child will not come in crying. Many parents have chosen to compromise to meet the needs of their children.
These children behave very well in kindergarten. They don't cry or make trouble, but why is it so difficult to send them?
First of all, they are used to going to the small supermarket before coming to kindergarten. Because they came to kindergarten for the first time. So they remembered this rule: first go to the supermarket, then to the kindergarten.
Secondly, when they ask, sometimes they can get some sense of control and feel that they can control everything around them.
I have talked to some of these parents, and some parents said: "What the child wants is not expensive, why let him cry? I feel distressed when he cries!" Does
really feel sorry for the child?
Not to mention how the additives in snacks will affect the child, from the psychological level alone, this will bring some psychological problems to the child.
First of all, we are satisfied as soon as the child has a request. The child will feel that things are easy, which is not conducive to the formation of the child’s delayed gratification, and will not let the child know how to cherish and be grateful. Secondly, our economic capacity is limited. Now he wants this, but what if he wants us to be unable to afford it in the future? Some parents will say they can't afford it or not, but they didn't expect that every time a child can get what they want, when they can't get it, it will be a huge blow to him. It's like a tree grows crooked, and it will be very difficult for us to correct it. It is better to give him a benchmark when it is a small tree and let him grow upright. Finally, if all the children's requirements can be met immediately, the children will lose their sense of boundaries and identity. The sense of identity comes from the boundary between self and environment, and comes from the perception of frustration.
parents’ question then came: “If I reject him, he will lose his temper, cry, and even roll.”
So many parents can’t bear, or even dare not refuse the child’s request, fearing that rejection will hurt the child. Feelings will make the child sad and lose the child’s love. Because the parents themselves will feel sad because they are rejected by their parents. In short, everyone is afraid of children getting angry.
Actually, this is a lesson that we as parents have to make up. Remember, children have the right to experience anger, which is a natural frustration. Children have the right to express to their parents the frustration they experience. Children feel freely, express anger, and learn to accept setbacks. Parents must not be knocked down by their children's anger. If the parent is afraid of the child getting angry, the child can feel that he will either turn his anger towards himself or become violent. Violence does not mean anger. Violence is fear mixed with irreducible rage.
How do we accept children's emotions?
You can try the following method: Tell your child's feelings. "Because you didn't buy you the candy you like, you feel very sad." "It is very difficult for you to stay in kindergarten all day without seeing your parents." This way, it can ensure that children have the right to want Something also teaches children how to express the emotions they experience.
We can safely refuse the requirements that children do not need to meet. But be sure to accept the child's emotions and give them time to vent their emotions. Such children have a higher sense of self-worth when they grow up and know how to reject others and be grateful.
