Have you ever felt this way? I know a lot of parenting knowledge and feel that I can deal with various situations of the child, but when I really encounter problems with the child in reality, I am still at a loss at the first time and can't call out any relevant parenting methods in my mind.
This is the parenting confusion that a friend with a 3-year-old son told me about. I believe many new mothers will do the same. In fact, the core reason for this problem is that we have read too much fragmented parenting knowledge and do not have a main idea of parenting in our brains.
I don’t know what abilities should be cultivated, when to cultivate, and how to do it in detail; what common problems will be encountered during the parenting process, and how to guide and solve them.
I recommended the best-selling book by Japanese children's educator Takeuchi Alihua, "Ages of 0-6 to determine the life of a boy". This is also a book I have been looking for that can clarify the key points of raising children before the age of 6. After reading it, I feel deeply sorry that we met too late.
Takeuchi Alihua based on her more than 20 years of research in the fields of children's education, psychology, and training, based on the psychology of children's development, psychology of children's education, and behavioral sciences of , and has summarized a set of early education methods for boys and girls aged 0-6, successfully helping 20,000 families solve parenting problems.
In order to benefit more children, she wrote "0-6 years old to determine the life of a boy" and "0-6 years old to determine the life of a girl" based on the early education method. These two books have been best-selling in Japan for 10 consecutive years and are deeply loved by mothers.
When I was watching "0-6 years old determines a boy's life", I discovered some wrong operations in the process of raising myself, some parenting matters that I accidentally did right, and some parenting points that I was glad to see before the child was 6 years old.
01 Don’t disturb the boy “Hoho”
Almost every mother has experienced such a moment. The usually noisy child suddenly becomes very quiet and does not disturb people. At this time, if you look for it, he must be doing "bad things" and one catches you one by one.
There are people playing in the bathroom, exploring in the kitchen, and working on the balcony. No matter where they are, the scene is absolutely in a mess and can't bear to look at it.
Therefore, mothers have a consensus that the more silent the child is, the more he is doing things that may be criticized by his parents. What will you do at this time?
The author tells us that at this time, never disturb the child unless what he does is dangerous or disturb others.
Because, at this time, his attention was highly concentrated, his brain was running at full speed, and he was in a very focused state.
We all know that the key to cultivating children's concentration is to not disturb children when they focus on something. But most of the parents will interrupt their children in this situation. Have you stepped on this thunder?
02 Let the boy learn to overcome difficulties to speak
Once, my 4-year-old son and I went to get the express delivery. On the way home, my son said, Mom, I'm tired. At that time, I was holding three express boxes, which were big and heavy, and I couldn't take care of myself, so I said, if I was tired, I would take a break. When I was talking, I had already thought about how I would reply to my son when he was unwilling to mutter.
Surprisingly, my son said without hesitation, OK. In this way, we took a break in the middle and we arrived home happily. After
, there were two or three similar situations. My son was not clamoring or making trouble and was very cooperative. This surprised me. You should know that a 4-year-old boy also changes his face as soon as he says he changes his face. It was not until I read Takeuchi Ellihua's book "Ages of 0-6 to determine the life of a boy" that I understood the mystery.
The author said that when children who don’t know how to deal with problems, lose their temper and only show their emotions, the most effective solution is to teach them the causal relationship between things in their daily conversations with their children.
For example, if the child says it is so hot, tell him, take off a piece of clothing if it is hot; if the child says it is so hungry, you can say, eat something when it is hungry.
These things are taken for granted by adults, but for children, it is difficult to connect the cause and effect of these things. Adults need to tell the child clearly what to do in this situation.
Children are in a stage where they do not have a lot of life experience and need their parents to give him some advice and guide him from the side. Adults think that all kinds of common sense that are not worth mentioning is as ordinary as ordinary, but they are the gap in children's experience. As long as you teach your children how to solve problems, your children can overcome difficulties by themselves.
03 Dad who can ask questions, boys are more confident
Most families, the main caregiver of the child is the mother. Dad is more busy with work and spends little time with his children. In order to show concern for the child, fathers usually ask the child, "How are you doing recently?" "Have you studied hard?" These questions will make the child feel that he is being interrogated and there is no fun at all.
Then how should father exert his influence and become a strong backing for his children's growth?
The author said that dad just needs to tell every change in his child frankly. For example, "You are wearing a blue dress today." You seem to have grown a little taller recently." "The clothes are so dirty, what are you playing with just now?
does not praise or criticize, but just objectively describe what you see. Doing so will convey to your child the important message that I have been paying attention to you. When a child feels his father’s care, he can use this as motivation to become more positive and confident. Because the boy is very eager to get his father's recognition.
My child’s father is also most of the fathers mentioned by the author in the book. In order to make up for the shortcomings of companionship, he will ask some questions that seem abrupt to the children. After reading the book "Old-6 years old determines a boy's life", I began to try to change and talk about some things I noticed about my children.
"Ages of 0-6 determine the life of a boy" tells in detail the 7-step parenting method that has been widely verified and achieved effective. Follow the map to easily master it, build your own parenting knowledge tree, and easily resolve parenting problems. As the philosopher IELTS Bells said, education is that one tree shakes another tree, one cloud pushes another cloud, and one soul awakens another soul.
