Text/Lan Ma talks about parenting
The night before yesterday, a mother posted a meaningful picture:
There is a big tree on the picture, a bird is resting on the branches, and there is a group of birds in the distance, flying higher and higher in the endless blue sky!
picture also has a special passage:
"Child, excellence is never achieved overnight
Only by experiencing the self-discipline practice of asceticism can you finally break out of your cocoon and become a butterfly
child, I know you are very tired and tired now
But look, everyone is working hard to fly
..."
This passage happened to be when I finished educating my daughter. It can be said that it was quite appropriate at that time!
felt quite anxious at the time, but then I thought that in the general environment, self-discipline is not as simple as I imagined. Perhaps even many excellent successful people cannot achieve complete self-discipline. Is this a matter of doing it tomorrow, and it will be pushed to the day after tomorrow. Isn’t this the nature of everyone who pursues comfort and and escapes reality?
children do not understand everything at the moment of birth. They need to practice and test to grow up slowly.
Excellent children are never forced. Many parents see that some children have been versatile since childhood, such as drawing and dancing, playing the piano and singing, speaking English, memorizing texts, etc. It seems that everything comes to . Behind this excellent learning ability, in addition to seeing the outstanding advantages of children, everyone will always blurt out "Excellent children are cultivated by parents since childhood."
In fact, this understanding is nothing wrong. When a child is born, he will be allowed to describe it like a piece of white paper. If you want your child to become a musical genius, you must let them grow up in an environment with a musical atmosphere. It is not that you force them to sing various music works at a young age. The younger the child is, the better the learning ability. Let the child learn in the environment of autonomy and enthusiasm , which will be more meaningful than how much you learn every day.
A child’s intelligence does not depend on how strong the congenital gene is. No matter how good the is, the talented also requires acquired efforts and learning and innovation. There is an eternal rule in the excellent world: " self-disciplined person wins, lazy person gets out of ". The more self-disciplined a child is, the higher his learning and even his life will grow.
However, if you talk to your children about self-discipline, you will know how lazy they are, because self-discipline can easily bring anxiety to people. The more you expect your children to be self-discipline, the more likely your children will not meet the ideal standards. Why is this? In fact, the original intention is not difficult to understand, because the beautiful things like self-discipline are often out of reach . The more you use too high goals to ask your child, the easier it is to ignore the child's details.
For example, the child’s grades were not very ideal this time, and we criticized him for not working hard enough in his daily study. This conclusion is completely wrong. What could the child say in one exam? Maybe they performed poorly in in , maybe this time the questions are more difficult, most children did not do well in the exam, and they guessed without knowing the situation. This is the most unfair thing for children to . The same is true for self-discipline. We should not always focus on one thing to test whether the child is self-disciplined. We should affect the child's self-discipline through self-discipline. This is the most important that should be learned in family education . Just like, you believe that the more self-discipline children are, they can be better. Parents' vision directly determines the child's growth height and even the development potential of self-discipline .
So, instead of setting a goal high and letting your children be self-disciplined, it is better to guide your children how to be self-disciplined!
For example, tell your child three things to be better and better:
The first thing: indulge in desire = in crisis
There is a mouse that fell into a rice jar full of rice
The mouse felt that this was simply a great thing for the falling cakes in the sky
It first looked vigilantly to see if there was any danger around
Then, after the safety was lifted, it ate a meal and fell asleep
Once, the mouse woke up and wanted to jump out of the rice jar and go home
But after looking back, he couldn't bear to leave this. The white rice
From then on, the mouse lived a leisurely life of eating, sleeping, and eating. He also ate and lie down in the ordinary day after day. Until one day, there was no grain of rice in the rice jar
. The mouse realized that it could not jump out of the rice jar
. The next fate of the mouse, without thinking, would you know that
will be tragically hungry in the empty rice jar
…
Look, does this naughty mouse look like the child we are educating now? They only know that they are greedy for the pleasure of the present, and they have no ability to control themselves at all. And they can't understand them at all. They just want to live a life of "eating and playing, playing and eating" every day, but what will the child get in the end? They will endure the harder life in the later stage for their temporary indulgence.
Don’t forget: indulge in desire = fall into crisis!
Therefore, indulgence is often to obtain the current short-term happiness and satisfaction, but is content with the current pleasure of , and often pays a heavier price. But can we understand these great principles with our children? Don’t think too much, the child will definitely not understand it. At this time, some indulgence techniques guide the child in time will stop in a timely manner.
For example, if your child doesn't want to study, just want to play games. OK, then parents should put aside everything and play games with their children. Take advantage of the weekend, if you don't go to work, don't make money, don't prepare food or drink, accompany your children with peace of mind, play games at home, and you will find that after a few intense games, your children will look for food and drink everywhere.
At this time, we will tell the children like a truth:
"You can't make money if you don't go to work. Now, we don't have the money to buy food or drinks. We will still have no money to pay electricity and network fees during this period, so we have to play the game happily in the past few days."
. Maybe, some parents think this is not a "bad idea" to mess around, but can children understand the principles of seriously ? They just feel that everything their parents say is to "hinder the play of games". Since the child's ideas are distorted, at this time, what kind of martial ethics do you tell them, just wait to be exhausted by the bottom line of the child's constant provocation!
The reason why children are children is because their opinions are not mature enough and their self-control is too poor. At this time, "It is better to teach people how to fish than to teach people how to fish ". Before teaching children self-discipline, let themselves become the person who is self-disciplined. Start asking for it from the self-discipline that is not self-disciplined, so that children can slowly see the changes in their own self-discipline. The subtle influence is the best teaching for children!
The second thing: not working hard = replaced
There is a master who drove two horses to pull the grain home
Two horses pull a car each. One horse ran very fast, and the other horse slowly
The owner saw that the efficiency was too slow, so he moved the lazy horse's goods to the fast horse's car
while the lazy horse was left at home to do some other work.
The two horses usually eat the same feed, but the work was different
Lazy horse began to live leisurely, and even mocked the fast horse "Tsk! The more tired you are, the more you are tortured"
Who knew that later,
After a holiday, the host found that there was no meat in his house
, so he slaughtered the lazy horse and entertained the guests
This is the legendary " lazy horse effect ". He doesn't want to work hard or work hard, and always wants to live a better leisurely life than others. This kind of lazy life enjoyment that is content with the present is obvious. It is obvious that in the near future, it may cost heavier prices. Some people say that this "lazy horse effect" is actually the survival rule of the fittest for survival of the fittest. Only by sailing against the current can go back and forth.
Please remember: If you don’t work hard = be replaced!
. In today's living environment where is fiercely competitive, children cannot imagine that behind the glamorous on the surface, there are many sadnesses of being eliminated because of not working hard. Only by working hard now can they achieve the life they want in the future without any effort.
However, they still don’t understand what to do when they talk to their children. It is necessary to let children feel the meaning of hard work in life in advance!
For younger children, you are talking about the meaning of hard work to them now. They will only think, "I just want me to do more housework." So teaching is far less than action. On weekends, don't stay at home watching TV and playing games.
If conditions permit, go and add a batch of products that children like and feel the taste of being a "little boss" in advance. Don't be afraid of being embarrassed, because sooner or later, the children will appear in public in public in public in , and they will still show up in public in public in public. The hands of getting rich by hard work are never shameful. Let the children sell goods seriously and experience hard work in real money and work. This is the real "life experience". Compared with the great principles mentioned, it can also make children truly understand the word "hard work" more sincerely!
The third thing: perseverance = can endure loneliness
Bamboo is the most magical creature I have ever seen.
In the first four years of growth, it only grew 3cm
By the fifth year, it will grow rapidly at a speed of 30cm every day. It only takes 6 weeks to grow to 15 meters
There is no sudden excellence, and it is content to enjoy the present
bamboo. The reason why it grows to 15 meters
in six weeks is all It is indispensable to put in the early stage
, especially the ordinary
, which seems to have not grown much in the first four years. In fact, all efforts are spent on stretching the root system
, that is, five years
, the invisible root system stretches to hundreds of square meters of the soil
, as the saying goes, "Excellent is all quietly working hard."
, so sufficient preparation, naturally creates such an amazing magical
, This is what people often call the "bamboo law". In fact, aren't we the human growth the same?
"Only you have to pay back " is well understood. Only when persists in 's self-discipline, will the efforts that take root will be easier to achieve success. On the road of children's learning and growth, we must know more that success is never accidental. It requires step by step to make steadily work hard and persistent positive mentality.
Excellence lies in persistence, difficulty lies in persistence, and persistence. has accumulated over the years of and will definitely become the excellence of others in the future. Because of self-discipline, it is excellent. Henan students do not forget to hold the youthful look of books in their hands when testing nucleic acid. I wonder if everyone is still imprinted in their hearts? Seeing the children line up in an orderly manner and still holding books in their hands, it was really like a bunch of "early birds eat insects."
The sky in the early morning was still dark, and the children were already lined up and doing nucleic acids, and began the first thing every day - morning reading, which also made everyone sigh: "It turns out that there are reasons for academic masters." In fact, isn't this true for life and excellence? Only with hard work can you gain something. No one’s efforts and excellence come from out of thin air. The better a child, the more he will be, the more he will be.
At the same time, it also tells us a truth: perseverance = can endure loneliness!
At the same time, on the road to children's excellence, please remember that you must not let your children be self-disciplined alone, because self-discipline is not simple, because children are not easy to be self-disciplined. Instead of constantly letting them be self-disciplined, it is better to learn how to be a self-disciplined parent with subtly . For example, if your children lack learning attitude and don't get up in the morning, then let's set a few more alarm clocks. Starting from 6:00 in the morning, set one in ten minutes, and reminding you multiple alarm clocks, there will always be one that can wake up the child.
And, the purpose of multiple alarm clock reminders is also to let children accept the " I want to get up early " from the bottom of their hearts, giving children a transition period, so that they know what they should do at this moment, and the next behavior plan and sense of purpose, will naturally be stronger, and parents should not just say and not do this process. We will follow them when children read.
Read and learn with your children and do the same self-disciplined things. It is best to be like a "small learner" who knows nothing. Please ask more questions to your children and let them experience the unprecedented student feeling. As long as the child in your eyes is a student, they are academic masters. Even if it is not the case at the moment, the future will become a reality!
Tell your children: Life is a profound book, and others cannot comment on it and cannot replace their own understanding. I hope you can create and discover something on this road!
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