Many times, we have to be clear-headed about many things. Especially when you get older, you must know that it is not your children who can rely on you, but yourself. Only after you take care of your children will you realize that family love is also very realistic.
Why do you say that? Let's take a look at this matter together. After reading it, you will know why we say this. I hope that through this case, all the elderly will pay attention. Don't wait until the end to realize that family love is also very realistic. Wait until then it is too late. The 73-year-old man cried: After taking care of his children in old age, I realized that family love is also very realistic.
case story sharer,
73-year-old Aunt Li:
Now I have no way to go, I don’t even know where to go. I'm even thinking about doing it twice a week, so that it won't be so painful if I leave. But when I think about leaving, I feel scared. What should I do, how should I live, and how should I live in the future? The more I thought about it, the more uncomfortable I became, and I cried as I thought about it. I don’t want to cry outside, but I really can’t control myself.
At that time, a friend came over. My friend saw me on the road and saw me crying here. Then he came over and asked me what was going on. My friend said to me: What's wrong with you? Why are you crying here? What's going on? If you have anything, you can tell me. Hearing the truth my friend told me, I cried even harder, but I didn't dare to say anything to him, and then I kept crying.
Finally, he pulled me aside and said to me: What happened? How can I help you if you don’t tell me? I am your good friend and we are related. Just tell me. I will definitely help you. I will help you no matter what. Is your child bullying you? That’s not right. Your child is so filial, how could he bully you? What happened? Why is this happening? Just tell me, otherwise I won't be able to guess.
asked me a lot of questions. I didn’t know what to say and didn’t dare to say it. Forget it, I’d better not say it. Then I told him: It’s okay. You can go back. I won’t cry anymore. I just felt the wind blowing hard, and I accidentally brought tears to my eyes. When I said this, he actually didn't believe it. Then he said to me: Do you think I am still a three-year-old child? Do you think I will believe what you say?
Even a three-year-old child doesn't believe it. Just tell me what happened. If you don't tell me, I really can't help you. Only after you tell me can I help you. Hearing him say this, I was moved this time. But who can be blamed for this ending now? I can only blame myself. If I hadn't given my children a chance to bully me, would this have happened?
This is also the fundamental reason why I am speaking out about this matter. I want to let all the elderly pay attention to it through my personal experience. Family love is also very realistic. Don’t wait until something happens like me in the end to realize how realistic family love is. By then it will be too late. You still have to rely on yourself to provide for your retirement. Everything else is unreliable, even family ties are unreliable, because family ties are also very realistic.
I came to live with my son a year ago. My son asked me to come here. My son told me: If you don't come to me to take care of your old age, where will you take care of yourself? If something happens to you at your age, how will I explain it to my father in the future? When dad passed away, I promised that dad would be responsible for you and treat you well. You didn't want to come before because you and dad could accompany each other and take care of each other. Now that dad is gone, don't live alone in your hometown anymore. Come to me and I will be responsible for you. Besides, I have made an agreement with my younger brothers and sisters to take turns to provide for you in old age. Even if they don't provide for you, I will provide for you in old age.
What I am most afraid of is that something will happen suddenly. What should I do if something happens, and my children are not around, let alone me. I think many elderly people are also afraid of this, so I agreed to live with them for retirement. It's good that they are responsible for me, not to mention that they took the initiative to let me go there, and they promised to support me in my retirement, so let's go there.
After I went there, my son was very good to me and obeyed me. He didn’t have to do anything, and I didn’t need to do housework at home. I told them: I don’t have anything to do at home, but I can take care of you. If you have anything to do, just tell me and I will do it. Besides, you are so busy at work.
But no matter what I said, they didn't give me anything to do. They were very kind to me with just one sentence. At that time, I thought I had found happiness in my later years. But I soon discovered a problem. It turned out that they were treating me well for a purpose. They wanted my savings. That day my son said to me: It’s okay to live here with us.
But we have encountered pressure. You also know that we bought the house in installments. Now we have to pay nearly 10,000 yuan in mortgage payments every month. When we were working well, repaying the mortgage loan was really not a problem. The problem is that now the economic pressure is great and we can no longer afford to pay off the mortgage loan. Once we cannot repay the mortgage loan, the house will be auctioned. What will happen to the house then? What should we do with our lives? What should I do if my children are still studying?
What I said so much is that I want to use my savings to pay off their mortgage. Faced with this matter, I can't refuse that they are my children, and now they are asking for help from me. Don't talk about me. I think many old people can't refuse. They know that their children need help, so shouldn't they help themselves? I gave them the money because you were standing. After giving them the deposit, I realized that this was a very real problem. What would I do if I ran out of money? At that time, I comforted myself, what if I gave them the money when I had nothing to do?
They will still be my support in the future, and I will still live with them like I do now. They will still be kind to me, and they will still live well with me. They did treat me like this when I had a deposit, but it's different now that I don't have a deposit. They treated me very well before I had a deposit.
has no savings, and their attitude towards me has begun to deteriorate. They never asked me to go to my younger son's place for retirement before, but now they ask me to go to my younger son's place. My daughter-in-law said to me: You don't want to come here anymore. It’s been quite a long time, so why don’t you go to your uncle’s place to take care of your old age? It’s impossible to say that we’ll stay here together, and my parents are also old. If you come here to take care of your old age, my parents should also come here to take care of you in your old age. If we take care of you at the same time, we will be under too much pressure.
So you can go to your uncle's place for retirement. We have already made an agreement with them. You can just go there. You are tired of living there. When the time comes, just come back here and take turns living there. That’s what you said when you first started, right? At that time, I thought that they had agreed that it would be fine and he just pushed me through. My younger son didn’t agree at all. The pressure on my younger child was even greater. They didn’t give me a good look when I went there. First, I came over without waiting for his consent. Second, they knew I gave the money to my eldest brother and then didn’t give it to them.
Although I later compensated them, they felt that I was partial and gave so much to them. What’s the use of such a little money? I quickly explained to them. I told them: I don’t have much money to begin with. Except for some of the money I gave to your eldest brother, I gave the rest to you. What else do you want? Although you two are not 100% equal, it is more or less like this. I gave him more than 160,000, and then I gave you more than 120,000. What do you want if it is close to 130,000? Although there is a difference of tens of thousands between
, I have done a lot of things for you here. I don’t have to do anything at my eldest brother’s side. But here I take care of you and take care of your family. I do everything.Is it necessary to distinguish so clearly?
The more I talked, the angrier I got. They didn’t care about how much I paid before. I thought I would make up for it by doing more things, but now I know that money is in their eyes, and they are too realistic. Later, my daughter also found out about this, and she also indirectly asked me for money. To put it bluntly, she felt that it was unfair for me to treat them like this. They are all my children, so why should I give it to my son but not my daughter? I gave whatever money I had to these two brothers, and now my daughter is asking me for money again.
I had to give the house to my daughter. At that time, I thought that relying on them would become their biological child for social security. We have a family relationship, so even if I have no savings, even if I give away the house, they will still let me rely on them, and they will still be responsible for me. This is what they said before, even if I have nothing, I am their mother, and they will be responsible for me.
But after I gave away the house, I realized that I was no longer a human being, my money was gone, and my savings were gone. Now my younger child won't let me live here, and my daughter won't let me go there. My eldest son didn't answer my question. My eldest son thinks that I should live with my daughter. After all, I have already lived in Ding, and I should live with my daughter.
My daughter doesn't have anything, but my son-in-law thinks it shouldn't be. After all, why should I have a son to provide for him in old age? Even if I give him a house, he is not allowed to give me a house. It's because I am my daughter's mother, and then I give the house to my daughter. What's wrong? They are all one family. The more this happens, the more helpless I feel, and the more I feel like this, the less I know how to go. In the past, when I had money, savings, and a house, I could do whatever I wanted, and they tried their best to be nice to me. Now that I have nothing, they regard me as a burden and a burden.
Although they didn’t directly say anything to me or drive me away directly, I could see their hate from their attitude and behavior. I shouldn’t have handed over all this. If I hadn’t handed over all this, would this be the ending now? Am I feeling this bad now? It's so difficult here.
On the surface, we are still a family that loves each other. In fact, they have long disliked me and wanted to drive me away immediately. It’s not because I have nowhere to go. If it wasn’t because I had no choice, would they still want me here? They would have driven me away long ago.
I cried even more when I thought about this. Who can I blame for this ending now, I can only blame myself. After living with them in old age, I realized that family relationships are also very similar. Family relationships also need to be maintained with money. If you have money, everything will be easy. If you don’t have money, let alone family love, even your biological children cannot be relied on.
These are very realistic things. Don’t think that your children are different, let alone that you will not encounter this kind of thing. What I want to do is that today’s young people are all the same. You must learn to be responsible for yourself. Only in this way can you live a good life in the future. Otherwise, what is waiting for you will be like me now. By this time, it will be too late to regret.
Conclusion:
This is indeed the case. Many things in this society are very realistic, even family relationships. Let's put it this way, if you are not responsible for yourself, no one will be responsible for you. You must be responsible for yourself. Only when you are responsible for yourself will others be responsible for you. Even if your child appears to be very filial, it is the same. If you are not responsible for yourself, do you think your child will be responsible for you in the future?
Forget it, don’t even think about relying on your children. Do you understand that you are the only one who can rely on you? You must be your own support instead of letting others become your support. If you only rely on others, then tragedy will definitely be waiting for you, and it will be you who will regret it at that time.
If you don’t want to regret it in the future, if you don’t want to live a miserable life in the future, then don’t think so much about relying on yourself. Don’t think about relying on others. Others are unreliable, even your biological children, because family ties are also very realistic. Do you understand?
