There is no rule without rules. The rapid and orderly development of society is inseparable from the establishment and implementation of rules and norms.
The orderly progress of society cannot be achieved by just one or two rules. It requires a variety of rules and norms. For example: customs, moral norms, legal norms, religious norms, etc.
During the period of 3-6 years old, children's growth rate slows down, their intellectual development accelerates, their range of activities increases significantly, and their exposure to social things increases. sensory perception , memory, attention, language, thinking and social communication abilities are significantly improved compared to before.
Shweder, Turiel and others found that at the age of 4-6, children have adopted basically the same principles as adults to distinguish moral rules and customary rules. 4-6 years old is a critical period for the development of children's social cognition, and cognition of social rules is an important part of social cognition.
Children know nothing about this society when they first come, but the real society has many rules and regulations. To survive and develop in society, children must understand and master the most basic social rules of this society, such as: stealing is wrong, giving way to cars, and watching traffic lights when crossing the road.
Therefore, the healthy physical and mental development of children is inseparable from the correct understanding of social rules. In real life, compared with other adult parents, mothers spend the most time with their children. Children are mainly cared for and educated by mothers. Mothers’ behavioral habits and ways of doing things will have an important impact on children.
Every stage of growth of a child has its mother’s footprints. Whether it is the acquisition of children’s language or the development of their behavior, it is inseparable from the mother’s participation.
1. Analysis of differences in parenting styles between mothers of only children and mothers of non-only children
From the research results, it can be seen that there are significant differences in the parenting styles of mothers of non-only children and mothers of only children in the two dimensions of emotional warmth/understanding and denial/rejection. Their research believes that parents of only-child families adopt an emotionally warm parenting style that is significantly higher than that of the non-only-child group.
This may be because parents of only children have more time, energy and patience to spend on their children's upbringing. An emotionally warm and understanding parenting style is conducive to the development of the parent-child relationship. Mothers can look at problems from the child's perspective and adopt relatively mild solutions.
The study also found that in the daily upbringing of children, mothers of only children adopt relatively less rejection-denial parenting methods, while mothers of non-only children adopt relatively more rejection-denial parenting methods.
This may be because only children are the babies of the family. Parents give all their love to their children and generally meet their children's needs, so they are less likely to refuse and deny their children.
Instead of a one-child family, the mother's energy must be spent on at least two children. If the child's behavior requires her to pay a price, the mother is more willing to adopt a parenting style of denial.
2. Regression analysis of mother’s parenting style and 4-6-year-old rural children’s cognition of social rules
Regression analysis It can be seen that mother’s refusal to deny can significantly and positively predict the cognition of moral rules and social rules of 4-year-old rural children. Mother’s emotional warmth and understanding can significantly and positively predict the cognition of moral rules and social rules of 5-6-year-old rural children. This result shows that rural children of different ages have different reactions to their mother’s parenting style.
However, 4-year-old rural children have different research results. This may be related to the age development characteristics of children. According to Kohlberg's moral cognitive development theory, 4-year-old children are in the pre-conventional moral stage, blindly obey authority, have no standards of right and wrong for moral behavior and social norms, and only obey the requirements of educators or adults.
For 4-year-old rural children, if the mother strongly refuses to deny a certain behavior, then the child will think that this behavior is wrong and cannot be done. The social cognitive field theory believes that children's cognitive development and construction of social rules mainly rely on three aspects: children's talent and potential, children's socialization experience, and social interaction.
Vygotsky The social constructivist view believes that in addition to children's exploration of the outside world, the raw materials for cognitive development come more from the interaction between children and knowledgeable people, such as parents, teachers, etc.
For rural children aged 4-6, their mothers are more likely to educate and take care of them in their daily lives. Children learn and understand various social rules through their mothers’ education. Therefore, the impact of mothers’ parenting style on children’s cognitive development of social rules is particularly important.
Based on existing research results, it has been shown that a mother’s education level is closely related to her choice of different parenting styles. By improving the mother’s cultural level and improving the mother’s parenting style, the development of rural children’s cognitive development of social rules can be achieved.
Social rules are the basic conditions for the orderly development of a society. Social rules guide people's behavior. Research on theories in the field of social cognition tells us that starting from the age of 3 is the budding period of children's cognitive development of rules. Parents should seize the critical period in time and use scientific methods to educate children on the corresponding rules.
3. Educational Suggestions
The research results found that maternal parenting style will affect the development of children’s cognitive development of social rules. Based on the results of this research, the following suggestions are made for rural mothers:
Give full play to the role of mother's role model
According to Bandura 's social learning theory, children's social behavior is mainly acquired through observing models. Mother is the closest and most trusted person to children, and is a model object for children.
Therefore, mothers should pay attention to regulating their daily behaviors, strictly abide by various social rules, and provide their children with a specific behavioral model from which young children can learn.
In daily education, we should pay attention to the consistency of words and deeds, and prohibit the inconsistency of words and deeds. For example, some parents usually teach their children to look at traffic lights when crossing the road. However, in real life, many parents, seeking convenience and speed, often take their children to rush through red lights and shuttle through traffic.
When parents take their children to violate the rules and enjoy the joy or no punishment brought by the violation, the children will default to the fact that this behavior is operable and executable, because the parents also do it, even if the parents or teachers have said they cannot do it.
During the period of 0-6 years old, children's social cognition is in its infancy and development stage. The development level is not high, children's discrimination ability is not strong, and they lack the judgment of right and wrong about social events and social behaviors. Therefore, the mother's correct role model is particularly important for the development of children's cognition of social rules.
Infiltrating social rules into parent-child games
Games are the most important way for children to learn, and they are also an effective way to promote children's physical and mental health and social cognition. Therefore, mothers can infiltrate social rules into parent-child games, and children can subtly master basic social rules through parent-child games. Mothers should pay attention to the following aspects when carrying out parent-child games:
First, the selection of parent-child games must conform to the development status and interests of children. Educationalist Comenius once said: We don’t have to give a person anything from the outside. We only need to uncover and expose the inherent things hidden in the body, and pay attention to individual factors.
When carrying out parent-child games, mothers should develop according to the actual situation of their children. For example, 3-6 years old is the sensitive period for children's role-playing. Children like to play various characters. At this time, mothers can play police and thief games with their children. Through parent-child games, children will know that stealing is wrong and the police uphold justice.
Second, work with children to formulate parent-child game rules.Every child is an independent individual. Children between the ages of 4 and 6 already have self-awareness. Children long for respect from adults and hope to be able to decide their own affairs. Mothers must learn to respect children's personality and rights.
Allowing children to participate in the formulation of rules can not only stimulate children's interest in the game, but also deepen children's understanding and implementation of the rules, because he participated in formulating the rules himself.
For example, when queuing up to play a slide game, mothers can work with their children to formulate punishment measures for violations and implement them carefully in the game, so that children can better restrain their own behavior in the game and understand and internalize social rules in the game.
Integrate social rules into family rules, and negotiate with children to jointly formulate family rules
Family rules are a repeated fixed order or behavioral norms and standards in family life, involving all aspects of life. They have many similarities with social rules and are not mutually exclusive. For example, it is stipulated that garbage must be thrown into the trash can at home. The same principle applies in society. You cannot just throw garbage away, but must throw it into the trash can.
skillfully integrates social rules into family rules, allowing children to recognize, understand and implement family rules in family life, use rules to regulate and restrain their own behavior, and achieve the purpose of promoting the development of social cognition.
For example, there is a family rule of respecting the elderly. When eating at home, parents always let the elderly sit down first and let the elderly take the first bite of the meal. The subtle education at home lets the children know to respect the elderly. When children interact with others, they will naturally respect their elders, such as giving up their seats to the elderly on the bus, because the rules have been internalized into their daily habits.
A word of caution when setting family rules: involve your children. During the process of negotiation and participation in rule-making, children can understand the rules and learn ways to solve and deal with problems; the process of negotiation with parents can promote parent-child relationships, harmonize the family atmosphere, and also contribute to the development of children's social interactions.
When children participate in the negotiation and formulation of family rules, children are no longer passive recipients of family rules. They believe that they are responsible for the rules and are willing to abide by the rules and maintain family order.
