Every child is a fertile land. The seeds parents sow, the fruits they will harvest. If we often praise our children, we will receive praise from our children. If we often blame our children, we will receive criticism from our children.
Yesterday I was at home with my son. At noon, I fryed a plate of 花后 . My son was playing games at a critical moment and I ate it first and left him a bowl.
After a while, my son took the bowl and started eating. He took a bite and said, "It tastes good when you are hungry!" - Hey, it sounds so familiar. Isn't this what my father and I often say!
Then the son said, "Guess how many points I'll give you?" What? Rating? At a young age, isn’t you going to learn to evaluate the food your mother cooks? Do you stop eating after your score is low? My first reaction was that my son might think that what I made was not delicious. I said tentatively: "5 points?"
My son shook his head: "No, guess again!"
"10 points?" If I want to score a full score of 10, this score is high enough!
The son still shook his head: "No, guess again!"
"That 100 points? 1000 points?"
The son's voice rose: "No! It's 100 million points!"
My surprise tears almost burst out: "Son, you are so good at praising people! Mom is so happy! Come on, hug me!" I hugged my son and kissed him several times. My son was also very happy and continued to eat happily.
My son has been shy since he was a child and always feels that he is not good anywhere. In order to improve this problem, I started to learn family education and psychology. I found that the root cause lies in me. I have rarely been praised by my parents since I was a child, so I rarely praise my children.
So I began to praise my son often. It is really a child who can only say good things if he listens too much good words. Just like when we give his children enough love, children will have love to love their parents and those around them, and they will be full of love.
It turns out that it works really well. After continuing to praise for the past four or five years, my son started to give me back! I'm so excited!
childrens birthday party
Many parents always like to pick their children's problems, hoping that their children will correct them as soon as possible and become more perfect. Who knows that in the process of picking again and again, not only has the child’s confidence been removed, but also the child’s ability to say good things.
My neighbor downstairs is Sister Mei. She works hard and is very quick in housework, and strives for perfection in raising children.
Daughter Jia Jia is 8 years old this year, in the third grade, she is beautiful and has very good academic performance. Sitting together to chat, Sister Mei said that her method is very simple. She gave Jia Jia a summary of her shortcomings before going to bed every night so that she could improve herself in a targeted manner. I rarely hear her praise her daughter because she is afraid that her daughter will be proud.
Once, Sister Mei worked overtime and asked Jiajia to come to my house to do her homework first. I couldn't help but exclaim: "Jiajia, the words you wrote are so beautiful! Auntie is not as good as you!" Jiajia lowered her head and said: "I don't write beautifully, I don't look beautiful, and my mother said I'm not good at anything."
I suddenly felt distressed in my heart: Such a beautiful and cute, studying and working hard child, he actually feels bad because her mother thinks she is not good. What is the child's inner inferiority?
This reminds me of Xiao Zhang, a beautiful girl in the psychology class we studied together. She is 32 years old and works in an public institution, . She has a considerable income, a slim figure, beautiful appearance, and versatile. But to others, she is so outstanding, and has been divorced twice.
She said that the purpose of learning is to change her inferiority complex.Because she was always troubled by her mother since she was a child, she always felt that she was not good enough, not worthy of good-looking clothes, not worthy of excellent and handsome boys... Her husband whom she married twice looked very ordinary. After marriage, she was worried that her husband would be dissatisfied with her and worked hard, but the two marriages still ended with the other party cheating.
Xiao Zhang was aware of it earlier, knew to adjust himself and stop losses in time. There are too many women around us who dare not divorce when facing their husbands’ unscrupulous cheating and domestic violence. The reason is that I am afraid that I can’t find a better one after divorce, so I might as well make do with it.
This shows that it is not feasible to make the child more perfect by pointing out his faults. Parents’ long-term accusations and pickiness will only make children become more and more inferior and have no sense of value, which will not only affect their personality, but also affect their future marriage, career and even health.
My husband said that a big sister in his office was very distressed recently. Her daughter got married, but every time she came back, she would get angry with her because of various trivial matters, complaining that she was not going well in her life and work... She was very angry, but she suddenly found that the tone of her daughter accusing her was exactly the same as what she accused her of her daughter back then!
The child is inputted from an early age and he can only output picky language when he grows up. And a person who is always picky and can't speak good things will never be popular wherever he goes.
A person's life is actually the life of relationships. Each of us lives in various relationships throughout our lives. When we were young, we had a relationship with our parents, our relationship with our partners, our friends, our colleagues and our children...
Say more good things, and there are many good things around us. We are always picky and complaining, and all we attract are garbage people and bad things.
It is no exaggeration to say: good relationships, our lives will be fine. If there is a problem with the relationship, we will definitely encounter various troubles in our lives.
However, unfortunately, most parents have wiped out their children's first ability to deal with relationships in their childhood.
So, I sincerely hope that all parents: I want their children to live a good life in the future, from now on, praise their children more!
