① Why do children have no idea of right and wrong
Before the self-awareness arises, children have a very important imitation period. This is a period when children understand and master a certain behavior, and internalize it into their own ability through continuous repetition. However, they learned the good and bad things in the surrounding environment together. Their activities range is small, and the people they come into contact with are the teachers and children in kindergartens. Some of their words and behaviors, understanding of things, etc. are to imitate the behavior of people around them. If we do not have good concepts of right and wrong and do not have good behavior, children will learn bad behavior from us. Of course, some behaviors in cartoons are also objects of imitation for children. For example, boys like to imitate " Ultraman fighting monsters" and " Big Wolf catching sheep". They will regard many of the people they see as "monsters" and tease them as "lambs".
Because they are young, their ability to distinguish right from wrong is relatively poor, and it is difficult to distinguish the quality of things. In addition, their self-awareness and corresponding ability to move are also strong during this period. They will use a lot of energy to maintain themselves. They are unwilling to share their own things with others, or they do not understand the principles of sharing them with others. They also find it difficult to express their emotions in appropriate language and vocabulary, and sometimes they lie to protect themselves from being criticized by adults, reject friendly approaches, etc.
②Registration of some "bad" behaviors of children
When many of our parents treat children's bad behaviors, their general manifestations are criticism and beating and scolding. We want children to know that their actions are wrong. However, this approach will not only fail, but will make children imitate our approach and even arouse their resistance.
Therefore, be sure to beat and scold the child. Beating and scolding will not only hurt the child's flesh, but importantly, it will hurt the child's heart and may even cause certain psychological problems.
We must understand the psychological needs behind some of the children's "bad" behaviors and understand what kind of psychological sensitivity the children are in at this moment. For example, the son of Ms. Chen mentioned above, Lele, who came back from kindergarten and called her grandparents "stupid". This is when the child reaches the "curse sensitive period". They will use some "strong" words to express their meaning. They may not know the meaning of these words, but speaking them will make them happy.
In addition, we should explain to the children which behaviors are right and which behaviors are wrong, and explain the possible consequences, and point out feasible ways to prevent similar mistakes from being made again. We need to analyze some behaviors of children in detail, which behaviors are naughty and which are bad habits. For example, when a child takes his parents' shoe polish and rubs his own cloth shoes, we cannot think that the child is deliberately making trouble, but rather that he is imitating his parents' behavior, which is a process of self-growth. At this time, we have to tell our children where to use shoe polish and how to use it.
③ Keep rational and objective, let children judge right and wrong by themselves
First of all, we must remain rational by ourselves, and don’t think that criticizing children is educating them. In fact, our every word and action is setting an example for our children and affecting them subtly. If you want to educate your children, you must first rationally see if you have similar problems.
For example, if children often push and kick people in kindergarten, we need to reflect on whether we have similar symptoms when solving family problems. If a child lies or refuses to admit his mistakes, we should also reflect on whether he likes to shirk responsibility, complain and accus on his own at home, often complain about his poor work, complain about his colleagues and leaders being unkind. If we are parents who are self-disciplined and rational and objective, our children will learn to judge right and wrong.
In fact, we must pay attention to the skills and art of speaking. Children in the first stage of resistance have obvious resistance to criticism and toughness, so we must pay attention to communication skills with children and put ourselves in our shoes.
For example:
The little customer of the Dongdong family wants to play with his toy car, and they broke up the toys when they snatched them. Dongdong cried endlessly and even beat the small guest with his hands. Dongdong's mother stopped Dongdong's attack in time, held him in her arms, and said to him: "The toy is broken, Dongdong is very sad, right?"
"The toy is broken, I am sad, I am sad!" Dongdong cried a little less in his mother's arms.
"Mom knows that Dongdong is sad, Dongdong is sad..." Mom kept saying.
Dong gradually stopped crying, got up from his mother's arms, and started to do it himself. My mother also helped
and finally put the toys in.
After the customer left, the mother gently said to Dongdong when she was packing the toys with her, "People are not used to beat them." Dongdong said, "It is wrong to hit people."
At this time, the child already understood what is right and what is wrong.
Special reminder:
Although two or three-year-old children have poor ability to distinguish right from wrong, as long as we treat children rationally and objectively and understand them, we will definitely let the children judge right from wrong by themselves.
Parents should remember: After handling their emotions well, guide their children's behavior and let them learn to distinguish right from wrong by themselves.
