hello, Hello everyone, I am your Doushui mother.
Many mothers always complain that their partner is a "pig teammate". In the parenting process, they not only can't help much, but they always "stop it".
I know a father, and he really refreshed my opinion on my father raising children. Before the child was born, he read all parenting books at home and abroad because he was afraid that he would not be able to take care of the child well. After the child was born, he also did his best to give his children companionship and care.
Do you want to say that he has not achieved success in his career, he is just a treasure father? Wrong, he is the director of the program team of a local provincial TV station. Through the programs he directed and directed, he often won the national excellent program selection.
Last summer, his son was admitted to a key local middle school with the best results of the city. When everyone learned about it, they were envious and sincerely exclaimed: " is really my hero and my son ."
A few days ago, he chatted with him on WeChat. When talking about boys' education, he shared with me a small case of his recent parenting.
It turned out that he found that his son, who had just entered the second grade of junior high school, seemed to be in love. Last weekend, the child went home and helped him organize his schoolbag and found a letter he wrote to the girl.
He realized that his son was indeed a little abnormal recently and began to be "smelling and beautiful". He liked to look in the mirror when he had nothing to do and began to pay attention to his appearance.
"Then what did you do? Do you want to talk to him directly?" I asked.
"I wrote him a letter. Adolescent children are quite worried, and they are thin-skinned and have good face. Some words are not suitable to be said in person. "
After he finished speaking, he sent me a screenshot of the photo of the letter. I opened it and saw that the letter was written meaningfully. I have to say that it is such a "heartful" father. The following is the full text of the letter. Share it with you:
Hi, stinky brat:
Are you okay? Forgive your dad for accidentally seeing your "love letter". Dad just took a few quick glances and did not read the full text carefully. What made my father sigh was that when did the little man in our family grow up like this? He had someone he liked. Dad is happy for you, don’t be nervous or panic, this is also a must-pass path on your growth path.
You can have someone you like, this is your power, and dad respects your choice. However, here, Dad wants to emphasize three things to you, and I hope to talk to you with heart-to-heart.
first, about love: You need to establish a larger view of love
Dear son, when my father was a little older than you, he watched a TV series " Seventeen-year-old Don't Cry ". He was impressed: the male and female protagonists Jian Ning and Yu Ling both studied very well in the class and had very strong personal abilities. They were also deeply attracted by each other, and even failed to think about food and food, which affected their studies.
But they are worthy of being excellent children. After inner struggle and teacher guidance, they all chose to turn this beautiful relationship into motivation for learning and move towards a better self together.
Goethe once said: "Which girl doesn't have a love for you, which boy doesn't love you."
The little ignorance of youth is a very innocent emotion, but your current affection for the opposite sex and these little feelings are not love, but the throbbing of adolescence. Dad hopes that you can cherish it and keep it in your heart, which will make you love learning more.
Imagine if you extend your horizon and treat your life in a broader time and space, you will find that everything in is worth waiting for.
famous writer in Chinese literature Shen Congwen Mr. Shen once wrote such a love letter to his lover Zhang Zhaohe : "
I have walked through many places, walked through bridges in many places, watched clouds many times, drank many kinds of wine, but I only loved one of the best age ."
This sentence moved many people and envied the deep love between them.
Love really makes people feel soft, kind and compassionate inside.This is a beautiful relationship, and Dad hopes that you can meet, taste and have it in the best time.
Second, about learning: Everything is inferior, only reading is high
This sentence comes from Northern Song famous scholar Wang Zhu " Children's Prodigy Poem ", which expresses people's understanding of reading at that time, of course, it is biased.
But my dad quoted here to tell you that your first priority now is to study, study, and study in , and then realize your life ideals and ambitions.
You have experienced the first entrance exam "Junior High School to Junior High School", and your father is proud of your hard work; in one or two years, you will face the "hit-hit" exam, and the learning task is still very heavy.
cannot say that learning all day long will make you feel boring.
is not like this. The child, my father saw a video. The students from a graduating class in the third year of high school get up at 5 am and go to bed at 12 pm every day, and study for 16 hours of the day.
There are some "gaps" that are difficult to cross between people. However, in front of knowledge, there is no distinction between high and low.
As long as you want to learn, knowledge will enter your mind, arm your brain, and enhance your self-confidence. And these things cannot be taken away by anyone. They will settle down and become your lifelong pride and capital.
If you want to have more choices in the future, please continue to take your studies seriously and "go to the next level" through your ability.
Third, about virtue: be able to "maintain one's own care and help the world"
The ancient Chinese had great ethics and family and country feelings. Mencius said: If you are poor, you will be able to keep yourself alone; if you are successful, you will help the world."
means: When a person is unsuccessful, he should pay attention to his character cultivation and internal strength; when he is strong, he should be upright, support the world, and serve the country and the people.
For you, the current learning stage is the time to strengthen yourself. Dad also hopes that you can become a "humble gentleman and extraordinary", which requires you to pay attention to in your daily life:
① Keep your appearance fresh at all times.
Children, you may not be tall and handsome, but It is necessary to be confident and cheerful. The premise of self-confidence is to have a clean appearance. Don’t forget to wash your smelly socks every day, clean up your personal hygiene, and change into clean clothes. Dad also hopes that you are the one who is popular wherever you go.
② Be able to love reading and read good books
is self-bright. If you want to increase your conversation and knowledge, the best way is to read more classics, not only increase your knowledge, but also "talk from the air" with the author to obtain "satisfaction" and spiritual comfort in another sense.
③ Keep your emotions stable and increase your cultivation
Dad knows that you are an extroverted child, passionate about others, and often get along with your classmates, but sometimes you will be disturbed and depressed by some comments from your classmates.
Dad wants to tell you, just be yourself, maintain a good friendship with your classmates, and if you have any grievances, you can tell us at the first time that your parents are your strong backer and the most trustworthy person.
Dad, you are 14 years old now, and you are in the best stage of your life, and it is also a relatively important stage in your life. Dad hopes that you can spend it happily, peacefully and fulfillingly.
Dad l3
Adolescent, you will encounter many confusions and doubts. You will be curious and frightened about your physical changes, and you will be worried about your friends' communication behaviors. There are still many difficult questions. Don't you?
Dad also came from that stage, so, understand you. has some "unspeakable hiddenness". If you are embarrassed to tell your parents .
, you have written so much before you know it. There are still many things you want to say to you, the future is long, let's talk about it carefully.
. Let's put aside your pen. My young man, happy puberty!
understand your dad.
In the late night of November 2022, I wrote
at home and wrote it in the
letter. I have finished reading it. My respect for this father is a little bit more. It is said that boys are more sensitive and fragile than girls because of their slow physical and mental development. However, we often only focus on children's academic performance, poor personal hygiene and rebellious personality. We rarely look at them as careful and thoughtful as this father, accepting and understanding their children.
In fact, there will be many exclamation marks and small question marks in your mind for boys; shy boys will be at a loss, some boys will secretly find answers from books and online; some boys will tactfully ask good guys...
Adolescent girls also have many "unspeakable hidden things". However, children at this time prefer to write diaries, tell their friends, and do not like to talk to their parents. If is not guided correctly, it may have adverse effects on the child's physical and mental health. Don’t let the child become the angel with broken wings.
Pupils are the second most important period for children's growth and development compared to infancy. Children at this period have a rapidly developing body that is far ahead of their psychology. is experiencing the "second birth pain" in life, and will have rebellion, emotional excitement, and aversion to learning. I hope parents will understand more tolerant and accept.
May our children all receive the best love and care in the world and turn their attention to the farther sea of stars.
Today's topic: During adolescence, do you have anything to say to your children?
