teach your children how to obey? The lives of undersocialized children will be difficult.
If a child has not learned how to behave properly when he is four years old, it may be difficult for him to make friends forever. The life of undersocialized children will be difficult, so it is important to ensure that children are fully socialized.
Let children learn to obey, starting with clear boundaries. According to statistics, two-year-olds are the most violent. They will express their anger and frustration by kicking, biting and stealing, and satisfy their impulsive desires. More importantly, they will explore the boundaries of appropriate behavior in this way, otherwise how do they figure out what behavior is allowed?
Children are like blind people looking for a wall. They need to go forward and try to find out where the boundaries are. Moreover, these boundaries are often different from what people claim. The lack of boundaries makes them more curious, so if a child is aggressive and controlling, he will kick and bite until he hits the boundary. How hard can I beat my mother? Until she objected. Therefore, if parents want their children not to do it on themselves, then you should correct them as soon as possible. At the same time, it can also help children understand that beating is a sub-optimal social strategy. If it is not corrected, children will not try to manage their impulsive behaviors, and will not be able to control their own inner impulses and better integrate into the external environment.
It is not easy to organize the heart. If I can hurt and subdue you, then I can do whatever I want in front of you. The reason why children beat people is that on the one hand, aggressiveness is innate, although the intensity varies from person to person, and on the other hand, because aggressiveness can increase desire.
Two aspects of discipline in children, whether to stimulate positive emotions or negative emotions.
, whether it is positive emotions or negative emotions, will eventually be expressed in two very valuable forms: one is satisfaction, which tells people that past behavior is good; the other is hope, which tells people that it is pleasant Things are coming soon.
stimulates positive emotions, for example, you want your child to learn to help set the table. This can make children more confident. You can break the goal into different parts. Complete step by step to let children experience a sense of control. For example, your child becomes very conservative after entering puberty. You want her to talk to you more, so making your child more talkative is your goal. One morning at breakfast, the child shared an anecdote from school with you. This is a good time to pay attention and reward, so at this time you should put down your phone and listen carefully, unless you want her to stop telling you anything . Interventions that make children feel happy can be used to shape behavior, and this reward method is very difficult to implement. Parents need to wait patiently for their children to spontaneously do the required behaviors, and then strengthen them, and waiting will consume a lot of time and patience.
How to learn and grow from negative emotions. In fact, negative emotions and positive emotions can also help us learn and grow. We must overcome our own stupidity and vulnerability through learning, and prevent ourselves from seeking death through the fear of death. So although negative emotions are uncomfortable, feeling hurt, fear, shame, and nausea can protect us from harm. People are prone to negative emotions. In fact, the negative emotions a person experiences from loss are stronger than the positive emotions experienced from the same gain. Pain and anxiety are more powerful than happiness and hope.
Parents who refuse to take up the responsibility of discipline think that they can avoid the inevitable conflict in the education of their children because they do not want to be bad guys, but this does not save their children from suffering. On the contrary, the ruthlessness and indifference of society will only impose harsher punishments on children. You can choose to discipline your children, or you can choose to transfer the responsibility to a harsh and indifferent society, and the latter's behavioral motives must not be confused with love.
Why do children need to obey? It's simple. Every child must be taken care of by imperfect adults. They need to listen to the words of the adults, because such behavior is more likely to be exchanged for the genuine affection and kindness of adults. Even better, child obedience can ensure that they receive the best attention from adults, thus benefiting their current and future development. Although this is very demanding, it is the most beneficial for childrenChoice, so obedience behavior is worth advocating.
Every child should also learn to skillfully follow the expectations of a civilized society. This does not mean blind obedience, but that parents must reward their children for attitudes and behaviors that can be exchanged for success, and use threats and punishments to eliminate behaviors that cause pain and failure. Parents should seize every opportunity to implement rewards and punishments in time, because opportunities in this area are really limited.
