has two children with different sexes, which makes me deeply feel that from the moment they are born, their personality differences begin to appear. But I still remember that when they were very young, I was still full of expectations and imagination about what kind of person they would be for , and everything was uncertain.
It seems too early to see that I am old at the age of three, but I have officially entered elementary school, have my own social circle, and in many aspects, I am like a little adult 
-year-old ?
During the National Day holiday, I brushed the previous documentary "The Key 7 Years" twice, and saw tears in many places - what is the most important thing for a 7-year-old child? What is the impact of natural temperament and family environment on children?
This documentary is part of Australia's "Children's Longitudinal Research Project". The documentary tracks and observes the growth process of 11 children from 1 to 7 years old. The children are observed, compared and experiments from many aspects such as 's interpersonal relationships, personality, gender, empathy, temperament, leadership , etc. to explore 's "what will change their lives" .
This longitudinal research project has followed and observed about 10,000 children over the past 10 years, while studying the growth stages of children and accompanying them in their growth.
"The Key 7 Years" has 2 episodes in total, each episode is 49 minutes:
First episode: "Parents bring happiness"
Next episode: "Temperament Shaping Life"
Video can be searched from B station: Key 7 Years
I have found a lot of resources, and the video is not clear. Fortunately, there are Chinese dubbing and subtitles, which does not affect understanding.
does not render too much, and the film tracks and records the growth process of each child without judgment from the perspective of a third party.
These 11 protagonists were born in different families, some with harmonious families, some with divorced parents, some with immigrant families, some with poor families, and some with good family backgrounds... The family background, growth environment, and personality characteristics are hugely different, but their development laws and age characteristics are surprisingly similar.
Through the faces of 7-year-old children, can we see their future appearance?
Are extroverts taking the lead? What are the special advantages of introverts?
If your parents have not grown up yet, how do you know life?
Why are boys and girls so different in their ways of having fun?
Is the leader born? Or was it cultivated after birth?
Can the easy-going temperament help us overcome various life challenges?
Why do some children need more motivation?
Is perseverance an advantage or a disadvantage?
Why is it not always beneficial to children to conceal conflicts between parents?
Why are some temperaments more difficult to discipline than others?
shooting scenes are very rich —there are in the family scenes, in the school scenes, in the interactions with peers, in the experimental scenes… and professional analysis and interpretation of behaviorists and psychologists. This also gives us the opportunity to understand these seemingly ignorant 7-year-old children more objectively and comprehensively.
It seems that every child has an unknown other side : some children who look strong on the surface are so fragile; some children who are not good at talking have their own social killer; some children who are Tyrannosaurus Rex at home, but they are so understanding at school...
This documentary is full of essences everywhere, and every story is worth sharing and more worth thinking about. The space is limited, so I plan to introduce the two episodes separately.
This article summarizes some fragments that impressed me in the previous episode of .It is recommended that you calm down and take a look when you are free. You may have a different experience. welcomes you to leave a message to share your seven-year-old ~
#1
people are social animals. Our relationship with others has greatly affected the purpose and significance of our life.
Many studies have also shown that what has the greatest impact on a person's sense of happiness is the relationship with others.
7-year-old children are already in school. They spend about one-third of the time with their companions every day. This means that the "social circle" has an increasingly greater impact on their lives.
Join the peer group, so that children can get a sense of belonging and identity and will not feel lonely.
Although they will grow into different people, they will also have different colors they like, "purple, blue, pink, red, green, black..."
What color do you like?
But the reasons that make them feel sad, angry or lonely are similar: ⬇
"No friends play with me"
"Friends don't play with me"
"Friends don't play with me"
"No one plays with me"
"No one plays with me"
"Friends bully me"
......
When the child is 7 years old, friends have become a very important part of life.
, Chairman of the Australian Children's Longitudinal Research Project Expert Advisory Group, Stephen Zobrik, said: Life is a story about your peers, and everyone can do better together than yourself.
In the adult world, we will care more about our popularity. But children are not like this, they don’t need to be particularly popular and can feel very happy. Because what they need is a reliable, long-term, trustworthy friendship.
Whether you have dark skin, white skin or yellow skin, or have money or no money, your child will think that As long as we become friends, we will always be friends.
#2
In the "Life Laboratory", an experiment on group culture was conducted. We can observe up close: how -year-old children get their respective roles in the group.
🔘 Extroverted
Extroverted little girl Anastasia, she is energetic, very independent, bold and straightforward, and good at socializing. She likes to meet new friends and has many ideas on how to play.
On the first day of the school class , he didn't cry at all, and he went to play without looking back:
In today's world, his personality and appearance have a huge advantage. People are more aware of their extroverted personality. Research surface, extroverts are often considered to be smarter, have a better appearance, are more funny, and are more popular with their peers.
is like Anastasia, lively and cheerful, with many friends and many children like to play with her. But such a personality can sometimes cause problems when she gets along with her companions because she is too strong.
However, in the life laboratory, if you observe carefully, you will find that: she leads the game and must act according to her own wishes.
A little girl with long black hair is the extroverted little protagonist
This may cause her to ignore the information conveyed by others.
In some cases, it may even cause trouble to her. is unable to perceive the needs of others, so impulse overcomes reason.
For example, she will insist on asking the teacher for drinks during her writing class, and even if the teacher is kind to persuade him, it will be useless.
In the "delayed gratification" marshmallow experiment, Anastasia just finished speaking and turned around and ate his own marshmallow:
In the future, children will face this fiercely competitive world. Extroverts are very independent and talkative. They are full of energy. People around them or some novel ideas will inspire their enthusiasm.
Confidence and decisiveness will be the advantages of extroverted children, but they still need to learn to understand others and understand how to give in to . should be part of the team, not just a "leader". Ben (Ben, name), one of the quintuplets, has never lacked external stimulation. Since his birth, he has had a ready-made companion group.
But he, who is introverted by nature, is like his hermit crab, sometimes needs to be alone.
may be due to premature birth and my language development is a bit slow, which may hinder his social interaction.
Although verbal expression is limited, found another way to express ideas and build confidence, that is - creativity. in art class is his time, which is completely controlled by him.
So, introverted personality will not hinder your pursuit of excellence as most people think. Introverts come more from their inner world, their thoughts, and rely less on external stimulation. has successfully mastered its inner power, allowing everyone to see his shining points and make him look unique.
In fact, not all introverts are very shy. They like to interact with others, but they cherish the time they are alone.
People often confuse introversion and shy , but the two are not the same. introversion will not make a person feel uncomfortable, introversion is part of nature. shy has a somewhat negative meaning, which is a manifestation of fear of social activities.
Obviously, Ben did not show shyness, just as his teacher said: If Ben is alone, it is because he wants to be alone, and he chooses to do so rather than be forced to do so.
#3
In order to test the children's empathy, an experiment was conducted in the life laboratory - to watch the sad video of "A little boy lost his mother" for the children.
pass the test to understand how much emotional resonance between the children and the little boy in the video .
In the experiment, the children could judge that the little boy was very sad, , but only some children understood their psychological feelings about this matter : (The following are the answers of different children)
"Same as usual"
"I don't know"
"I'm a little sad"
"I don't feel it"
"I don't feel it"
-year-old children have learned a lot, one of which is: hiding their emotions. Therefore, "measurement of heart rate" was added during the experiment.
(personal name) is very dedicated when watching the video and may be a little worried about what is happening in the video. When a car accident occurred in the video and the little boy in the video expressed strong sadness, the heart rate chart at that time had a large crescent.
Among all the children who participated in the experiment, Ben had the biggest reaction, and he deeply felt the little boy's sadness. This shows that is a child with a keen sense of feelings and can empathize with others . 's ability will help him build interpersonal relationships.
Having Empathy means that being able to imagine yourself in the dilemma of others and feeling other people's emotions is not about yourself, but about others.
Empathy is crucial to our social life and it is almost at the heart of interpersonal relationships.
#4
7-year-old Wyatt was born in one of the highest fertility rates for minor girls in Australia. When he was born, his mother was only 15 years old.
After giving birth to him, my mother sent him to the high school nursing class and returned to the classroom to complete her high school studies.
Wyatt's father dropped out of school and worked to support his family after he was born.
In these 7 years, he has experienced divorce from his parents, reorganizing his family, his younger brother is seriously ill, and moving 5 times.
When the father was asked whether he would come to pick up the child tonight, he replied, "I haven't thought about it yet," because it depends on whether he will come back tonight or not.
Wyatt's younger brother suffers from limb spasm and cerebral palsy and has overall developmental delay.
Research has found that upheaval changes in the family will have serious impacts on young children. Frequent moving, messy rooms, and interrupted establishment of normal emotional attachment will all cause chaos in the growth environment.
Although Wyatt seems to have not been defeated by adversity so far, he is a little slow in his studies.
In the Life Lab, Wyatt was fidgeting and anxious while watching the video of "A little boy lost his mother" and he was restless and swaying on the chair.
But when he sees others suffering, he will be infected by other people's sadness and suddenly calm down. Obviously, Wyatt's emotions are easily influenced by others, and it can even be said to be emotionally fragile.
Children will have a deep-rooted belief - they believe that the world is stable and that life will continue like this. Therefore, when this belief collapses, it will cause the lack of belief.
Although peers are important, family experiences will have a continuous impact on what kind of people they become and how to deal with relationships in an increasingly complex world.
Therefore, children's growth requires a stable and reliable environment, and in such an environment, they can explore with confidence. masters various life skills in daily practice without worrying about and dealing with sudden changes at any time.
#5
In fact, it is not difficult for us to observe that girls and boys will have different ways when playing. For example, when girls are playing house and playing house , the boys are pretending to be monsters to scare people.
In the life lab, researchers did a test: the children were drawing, and when they turned around, a little naughty ruined their painting.
The boys and girls were shocked when they found out, but the boys and girls responded differently later.
Girl:
"Who did it?"
"How can I do this?"
"It's all my flowers!"
Boy:
"Then let's change to a piece of paper to draw!"
"Let's just let's do it like this, cover it with color"
html When I was 17 years old, the gender differences between children began to appear. You may also notice that children of this age have basically spontaneously like to play with children of the same gender. As shown in multiple sets of experiments, boys and girls began to show different tendencies while playing.
For example, in every set of "destruction" experiments, the boy can quickly give up pursuing this matter, but the girl will fall into a tangle and worry that the sabotager will not be punished.
To further understand the impact of gender on girls, the experimental group raised the following question: Who is the real girl and who is the tomboy?
Some parents say that she is a real girl with no sign of a boy at all. Some parents said that she had some characteristics of both genders, and she could roll on the mud in a princess dress... and there was a family who refused to give her children such a definition.
Mom: "She is neither a tomboy nor a real girl. She is just a child, she is a person, it has nothing to do with gender."
Dad: "People have always had different expectations for different genders. Boys should be firefighters or policemen, and girls are princesses or nurses. Our family doesn't have this set."
This couple of parents do not divide their labor according to traditional gender roles in their lives. For example, mowing the lawn is not necessarily exclusive to men. Similarly, washing dishes is not a woman’s duty, but whoever has time does it.
Xia Yin's 7th birthday, dressed up as her favorite "Long Socks Pipi".
Pipi is independent, brave, and does not rely on anyone.
is a good example of growth.
They know very well that their efforts are insignificant compared to the external impacts their children will be subject to. But they firmly believe that "gender stereotype" makes children's development too restrictive.
Perhaps boys and girls do have some physical, psychological, and behavioral differences, but what is important for children's growth is that ta can become the person they want to be, which is not affected by gender.
Without denying the differences between men and women, we need to let children see that can play an important role in all walks of life. Boys can dance ballet , figure skating , become an excellent nurse, and girls can also be programmers , aerospace engineer.
There are endless possibilities in your life, it all depends on what kind of person you want to be.
#6
3 years ago, in order to get rid of poverty, Xia Yin's parents made a major decision - to return to university and complete their studies.
Within one year, Xia Yin participated in two graduation ceremonies for her father and mother and her degree awarding ceremony.
Xia Yin saw the efforts made by her parents to change their lives. These two graduation ceremonies also conveyed a clear message to her - education can change life.
Mother said: "I think it is education that makes life different from poverty and prosperity. As we have seen with our own eyes, life has improved greatly after receiving education. We finally got out of poverty and live a good life now."
These experiences and efforts of parents are of great significance to the whole family. More importantly, this makes children understand that sometimes life is bad, but as long as you persist and work hard, you can achieve your goals.
\ | /
★
After watching this documentary, my biggest feeling was that every 7-year-old child has huge energy in his body and faces the unique challenges of his exclusive ta.
If you envy others, it may be because you don’t really understand him. No one’s childhood is perfect, but don’t doubt that every child is full of potential. They are so unique that they need "special" love.
Recently, Niu Niu was diagnosed with ADHD. I have seen a lot of posts about ADHD, and I have also seen many parents telling me about the pain caused by the child’s diagnosis and the teacher’s complaints. But in my opinion, ADHD is only part of our normal population, and it can even be said to be a talent - All the "negative" related to ADHD, from another perspective, are the advantages of children (I really thank Aunt Yun, every time I share the growth of Niu Niu, I express my love for her. Thank you for helping me see the shining points of children ❤️) :
For example, if you lack driving force and competitive spirit, you can look at it from another perspective and be calm and have a peaceful personality; if you have a short sleep time, you can win over 1-2 days of "learning time" for yourself than ordinary children in a week; if you are not focused, she can notice many things that people don't notice. This is the basis of pioneering ideas, and changing the world depends on them...
👆 "If you have style, there is no good or bad"
Friends are really experts who blow rainbow farts to their children 🌈!
There is an old Chinese saying, since comes, you will be safe . Applying it here, since has such a special child, please cherish the special features! has difficulties and challenges, and facing them is also the meaning of life.
Whether it is life experience or the personality characteristics of a child, whether it is good or bad depends entirely on how you view the child - only when you regard him as a treasure can he shine.
Don’t give up looking for the highlights of children. They are all treasures, keep digging!
The second rebellious period of the baby, are you ready?
BBC released the latest documentary last week, refreshing people's perception of infants and young children aged 0 to 2
was ignited by the big names' parenting view and growth history. The interview documentary I finished in one breath
If you like it, please forward and share:)
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