Many parents have a headache when setting rules for their children. They have clearly established many rules, but their children do not listen at all. They are not afraid of heaven or earth. Over time, they lose their self-control and become increasingly difficult to discipline.
For example, when you go to the amusement park to play, you will say in advance that you will go home at eleven o'clock, but the child is always acting cute and slutty, and time is delayed;
requires the child to do his homework first when he goes home from school, but the child always procrastinates and sits at the desk after playing.
Why do good rules become decorations? How to establish rules to be effective?
In fact, you must also pay attention to methods and methods to set rules for your children. Incorrect rules can easily destroy children's self-control and make children sneer at the so-called "rules".
When we set rules for our children, we must avoid the following three misunderstandings, avoid making rules a decoration, and develop good behavioral norms for children.
set rules for the child, and breaking the rules
I remember that such a short video was circulated on the Internet before. The father asked his son to do his homework, but who would have thought it would attract his son's "crazy complaints":
"You don't study in the whole family, and you still play with your mobile phone. You ask me to study every day, but you don't study, and your mother is reading books so seriously."
"Have you learned it yourself? 367's add and subtract multiplication formula table , you won't make it so difficult for me to read."
"You still always play games on your phone, your phone is confiscated, so you are not allowed to play again."
Cute kid complained with reasonable evidence and won the approval of many netizens.
Some parents are typical "double standards" when setting rules for their children. They are demanding on their children, but they cannot set an example. They set rules for their children one minute before, but they are destroyed in the next minute.
Imagine we set rules for our children. If we don’t even abide by it, how can we ask our children?
. Parents are one of the most critical factors to cultivate children's awareness of rules. Only when parents set an example for their children, teach by example and set an example, can children be influenced by their eyes and develop good behavioral habits. Otherwise, children will only regard rules as "winds in their ears" and are prone to rebellious mentality.
Set rules for children not to "get it in one step"
There is a mother who shared a personal experience in the parent group. The 5-year-old son is naughty and always likes to throw toys around, including living room, kitchen, balcony, and bedroom. He throws toys to every corner of the house.
Every time the mother asks her son to pack up the toys, her son always ignores it.
Later, the mother changed her strategy and agreed with her son: "You just need to clean up the toys in the kitchen, and other mothers will clean up."
Since his son rarely throws toys into the kitchen, he happily agreed and was very active every time he cleaned up.
Immediately afterwards, the mother increased the scope: "In the future, you should be responsible for cleaning the toys in the kitchen and living room, and other mothers will clean up."
This time, my son still did not refuse, so under the mother's "spoken and temptation", the son slowly began to take the initiative to clean up all the toys at home, and gradually developed the habit of putting the toys back in place after playing.
Psychologically, this phenomenon is called the "stair climbing effect", which means that climbing up step by step like climbing a staircase makes it easier to reach a height.
The same is true for us to set rules for our children. We should climb stairs step by step, and the rules should be established bit by bit, try to go from small to big, from easy to difficult, and guide children to do their best step by step.
Set rules for children to be consistent in discipline
This may have happened in many families.
Mother set the rule for her child that "only watch TV for half an hour a day". After the child has watched it for half an hour, she acts like a spoiled person. The mother is unmoved and still wants to turn off the TV.
But at this moment, the old man suddenly appeared as a "peacemaker". He said, "What's the big deal about watching TV?" He turned on the TV that his mother had just turned off again. The child sat on the sofa and watched it with relish. The rules that the mother had just set for the child immediately became "like waste paper".
When we set rules for our children, if we cannot "unified front", the children will have an opportunity to take advantage of it. It is difficult to strictly implement the rules formulated.
And this is the " watch law " in psychology: When a person has only one watch, he can know what time it is, but when he has two watches, he will not be able to accurately determine the time and lose confidence in the watch time.
Set rules for children. Parents should discuss them in advance and try to ensure consistency in discipline. Only one voice appears at home, otherwise the children will only ignore the so-called "rules", and in the end, no rules will be established.
Conclusion:
Setting rules for children is also a science. Incorrect way to set rules will destroy children's self-control.
In the process of educating children, we must master the correct methods, avoid the above three misunderstandings, and gradually develop good behavioral habits for children.
Topic today: How do you set rules for your children?
