My friend Xiaoye's daughter Meimei is 4 years old this year. She is cute and well-behaved. Everyone likes her, and Xiaoye feels happy because of this. But Xiaoye has been a little worried recently because she found that Meimei was very timid and introverted when playing games wit

My friend Xiaoye's daughter Meimei is 4 years old this year. She is cute and well-behaved. Everyone likes her, and Xiaoye also feels bright about her face.

However, Xiaoye has been a little worried recently because she found that Meimei was very timid and introverted when playing games with other children and did not know how to integrate into the children's games.

Many children in the yard were playing enthusiastically together. Meimei stood aside and looked at the children with envious eyes. Xiaoye encouraged her to join the children's games. Meimei whispered, "Mom, I don't dare. Go and tell them for me."

With Xiaoye's repeated encouragement, Meimei finally walked up to the two girls who were playing games, but the girl did not respond to Meimei. Meimei walked back aggrievedly and said to Xiaoye, "Mom, they are ignoring me."

Xiaoye finally had to help Meimei talk to the children and let Meimei join their game.

Xiaoye is very worried about Meimei. She is afraid that Meimei will be ostracized by children because of her timidity. At the same time, she is also afraid that Meimei will become less confident because of being rejected.

Examples like Xiaoye's and Meimei's are very common in life, and some children will suddenly become introverted, sensitive, and crybaby when they are about 3 years old. Parents of children are somewhat anxious when encountering these problems. At the same time, they label their children as unsociable or cowardly, and they are even more eager to get their children to change.

In fact, three or four-year-old children want to join other people's games, which is the emergence of children's social psychology. Children are eager to socialize but don't know how to do it. When facing strange children, they want to play together but are afraid of being rejected.

This is a person's normal psychology in social activities. Even an adult who has been in society for many years will feel a little uneasy when he needs to deal with strangers or join a new circle, let alone A child of about three or four years old.

Faced with Meimei’s situation, parents don’t need to worry too much. Children have their own way of socializing. In fact, every child is a natural socializer. Between the ages of three and four, children begin to experiment and find ways to socialize that work better for them.

My daughter and I once saw a group of little girls playing games with leaves in the community. My daughter wanted to join in, so she walked over and said to the girls, "Can I play with you?"

But no. A child would respond to his daughter.

My daughter just stood there quietly watching. At this moment, a girl said that she needed more leaves, and other children also agreed. The daughter seemed to have found an entry point, and she also said excitedly, "Leaves, I will go find them." "Leaves, come back soon."

When her daughter came back with the leaves, she naturally joined the game. In a blink of an eye, the children who didn't know each other were talking and laughing like old friends.

It can be seen that children's socialization is also a process of exploration. Only children who have experienced this process can find a more suitable way of socializing for them.

Parents should not be eager to see results and constantly urge their children to join other children's games.

Some parents see their children standing there and watching other people play after being rejected, and they feel that their children are not gregarious and timid, and they want to train their children to have the courage to interact with others. So, they began to keep saying to the children: "Go play with the children, everyone is playing, what are you still doing here..." However, after hearing these urging words, the children would often say aggrievedly, "Mom, please help." Me." or "Mom, play with me." At this time, the child is already resisting this matter.

Because parents’ urging interrupts the process of children waiting for opportunities and exploring better ways to join. Let him not know what to do now, thus making the child anxious. Start looking for support and comfort.

If parents continue to insist on getting their children to join other children's games at this time, some children who are naturally more introverted may be afraid of joining the games and may even cry.

So what should we do? Let’s take a look at the following methods.Maybe there is one kind of person who is your child.

1. Give your children time to observe. Do not urge your children to join other people’s games. Let your children find playmates that are more suitable for them.

Children have their own way of socializing. In children's world, their communication and interaction are simpler and more direct.

I wonder if you have noticed that when a child says the sentence "Can I play with you?" very formally according to the method taught in books or parents, if the other person is playing alone, he may agree, but if If the other party is a group of children playing together, they may not get a response or be rejected.

Because all their energy and thinking are in the game at this time, they don’t think about what will happen if there is one more child or one less child. Even if their original playmates quit the game at this time, they may not have any friends. Too many reactions to even pay much attention to.

On the contrary, if you say to them at this time: "What are you playing?" "What are you doing?" Similar to these game-related questions, you will often get a response. At this point you can join the game directly and slowly start playing together.

If you often take your children to play outside, you will find that you often need an opportunity to join other children's games. Once you grasp this entry point, you will naturally be able to play together happily. There is absolutely no need to greet someone as formally as you would in an adult social setting.

Just like the example of my daughter mentioned above, don’t rush to urge children to join the game. give children some time to find their own entry points and train them to discover the fun and methods of social interaction. Slowly, children will Socially, I feel like a fish in water.

2. Bring more toys and encourage the child to find children who like to play with him or are willing to exchange toys with her.

Some social interactions in the adult world are based on equal exchange, and the same is sometimes true for children's social interactions. When you take your children out to play, you can bring a few more toys and let them exchange and share them with others to get the pleasure of giving and receiving.

3. Parents should be the king of children and lead their children to play games such as eagle catching chickens or wooden man. They can build a social platform for their children and attract other children to play together. Of course, this may be tiring for the mother.

Children may observe on the side at first, but they will soon be infected by the happy rhythm and join in, naturally playing together.

Social interaction is an innate instinct for people. Social interaction in childhood may be a toy, a book, or more likely a leaf or a stone, which can make two strangers become friends.

So as parents, we don’t need to be too anxious. If necessary, we can help the baby build a bridge. When the baby encounters setbacks, we can give him suggestions and encouragement, tell him where the problem is, and give him some tips, Let the children think about what to do. I believe that with repeated practice, children will gradually become more confident, and at the same time their social skills will continue to improve, and they can be well integrated into group games.

Author: Waiting for the Wind to Come

A working mother of two children, she writes with her left hand and takes care of her children with her right hand. She likes reading, writing, and painting. She writes with her left hand and takes care of her children with her right hand. She firmly believes that even if her life is miserable, she must have the poetry and poetry she longs for in her heart. Follow me from afar and continue to provide you with more parenting information.

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