class. He was coaxed by his mother when he first came here at the beginning of this year.
In the words of the child’s mother, “I have to coax him to do anything.”
“It’s fine in your day care class, but the most annoying thing is at home. When in front of his father, he is well-behaved, sensible and obedient, and his father always When he's not at home on a business trip, he's like a wild horse that has escaped from the reins. He doesn't listen to anything he says, just because he's afraid of his father! "
" Eat this bowl of rice and I promise you to watch more TV for half an hour. "
" "
" OK, as long as you finish it. "
" I can only coax him to eat, go to bed, and get up to go to school. "
Just imagine, like this! How could a child listen to such a mother?
If you blindly rely on negotiating terms with your children to get them to listen to you, your children will follow your example and negotiate terms with you.
The problem is not only for children, but also for adults. Therefore, from the beginning, our teachers have also emphasized this issue with parents to cultivate children's sense of rules and self-care and self-reliance. Everything must be done “with a word in mind”, especially parents and daycare teachers must unite the front and speak in the same voice!
Fortunately, we have taken a half-semester care class here at Zhongtuomeng, and this situation has improved. There are many such reports in
news.
The proud man who tried his best to get into the 211/985 University lived up to expectations and entered a prestigious university. However, because he suddenly broke away from the supervision and encouragement of his parents, he could not find his life goals. He gradually indulged himself, skipped classes, failed classes, and was eventually dismissed from the school. Drop out of school.
is really disappointing.
Tsinghua University dismissed two doctoral students from the School of Marxism;
Huazhong University of Science and Technology Many undergraduate students performed poorly and were demoted to junior college students;
Hefei University of Technology dismissed 46 students at one time Master's degree student;
Hebei Institute of Physical Education official website announced that 40 students have been withdrawn from school...
Looking back at these students who have been dropped out, they have been accustomed to the all-round supervision of their parents since childhood, and rely on the external incentives that their parents have promised to devote themselves to learning. .
In fact, I lack the active interest in learning, the perseverance of willpower, and the sense of responsibility for my own life. When
enters a loose and unconstrained environment, it is inevitable that it will lose enthusiasm and initiative for things, and it is easy to lose oneself and indulge in self-indulgence.
Therefore, Edward Desi emphasized based on the experimental results of " Desi Effect " -
If you want your children to do something, external motivation can only play a temporary role. Once the external driving force decreases or If they disappear, they will lose the motivation to move forward.
Long-term material rewards will not only kill children's motivation to learn, but will even make children develop the bad habit of placing conditions on everything they do. They will care about everything and will only act when the conditions are in place.
Once the rewards are not fulfilled, they will be passive and slow down in protest, or even resentment and revenge.
