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Some people say that in a modern family, there are three protagonists: parents, children, and mobile phones.
Have you noticed that since the advent of mobile phones, young people who were originally full of energy have become silent, deaf to what is going on outside the window, and only focus on browsing on their mobile phones.
In fact, children cannot be entirely blamed. Adults are not resistant to mobile phones, let alone immature children.
Some children are addicted to mobile phones, and the source is still with their parents. Many parents now go home and play with their mobile phones constantly in front of their children, which invisibly sets a bad example for their children.
There is another reason. Many parents use mobile phones to please their children. When the children are naughty, they throw them a mobile phone and the world becomes quiet in an instant.
After a long time, children are addicted to it. Many people lie and deceive their parents and teachers to play mobile games. At this time, parents begin to realize the dangers of mobile phones.
Many parents try their best to do this, even confiscating their mobile phones, but it doesn't have much effect. Children's addiction to mobile phones has become a major problem for many parents.
Today, I would like to share with you an American mother’s experience in solving the mobile phone problem.
This mother wrote a letter to her son, setting out 15 rules for using mobile phones, which are worth thinking about for all parents!
These 15 house rules are not only applicable to children’s use of mobile phones. Some of the educational concepts reflected in them are more worthy of our study.
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Dear son:
You are an excellent and responsible 13-year-old boy who deserves this gift. But while accepting this gift, you have to follow some rules and regulations.
Please read the following usage agreement from beginning to end. I hope you understand that it is my job to develop you into a well-rounded, healthy, socially useful young person who can adapt to new technologies without being swayed by them.
If you fail to comply with the following agreements, I will terminate your ownership of this phone.
Article 1: This is my mobile phone, I bought it with money. But I am willing to lend it to you, should you be grateful to me?
interpretation: This is a property rights issue.
When parents buy things for their children, the ownership still belongs to the parents, and the children should be grateful.
Our traditional family view believes that parents and children are one body. Over time, Chinese children will have this mindset: all their parents’ property belongs to them.
once saw this question on Zhihu: Why do some people take their parents’ property as their own?
’s answers below were varied. Some said it was the parents who said it themselves, while others said I wouldn’t raise them if they didn’t give them to me.
So for a long time, our children have thought that it is natural for their parents to meet their own requirements, and many children lack a sense of gratitude.
Article 2: I want to know my mobile phone password.
interpretation: This is a matter of the right to know.
With the development of the Internet, all kinds of information are everywhere. Children lack the ability to distinguish and are easily affected by bad information if they are not careful.
Therefore, parents must know their children’s mobile phone passwords so that they can understand their children’s movements at any time and nip problems in the bud.
Some people may say that this will violate the child's privacy. Yes, but when a child is a minor, his right to privacy is less than his right to know.
Rule 3: If the phone rings, answer it. It's just a phone call, learn to speak on the phone with the right attitude. If calls from “Mom” and “Dad” appear on the screen, never ignore them and remember your parents’ mobile phone numbers.
interpretation: This is a matter of politeness and safety.
mobile phone is not only a communication tool, but also involves a lot of social etiquette. You must answer the call when others call you (even if you are unable to answer the call because of something else, you must call the other person back afterwards). This is a kind of quality.
Children cannot but answer their parents’ phone calls. Sometimes parents are worried about their children's safety outside and will call to inquire. At this time, the children cannot deliberately not answer the phone.
Article 4: Hand your phone to your parents on time at 7:30 every night (9:00 on weekends). It will be turned off at night and turned on again at 7:30 am.When you want to call someone else's home phone number and don't want the other person's parents to answer the call, don't use your mobile phone to call or send text messages. Listen carefully and treat other families with respect, as we expect the same respect.
interpretation: Respect others.
Don't do to others what you don't want others to do to you, and try not to disturb others during their rest time. This is the most basic quality of life.
Article 5: Mobile phones cannot be brought to school. Talk to those friends in your text messages in person. This is a basic life skill. The situation of early school release, outings and extracurricular activities requires specific analysis of specific issues in .
interpretation: Don’t let mobile phones affect learning.
Children have poor self-control, and most children are completely addicted when they get a mobile phone.
lacks the ability to accurately screen various information in mobile phones, which may affect the development of physical and mental health!
And I have classmates at school. Playing with classmates is better than holding a mobile phone alone.
If you have something to discuss with your classmates, it is better to communicate in person than to send messages. Language is more effective than text.
No. 6: If it falls into the toilet, breaks on the floor, or disappears into thin air, you will be responsible for replacing or repairing it. Please mow the lawn, babysit, and save some of the money you received for your birthday to help pay for the repairs. There will always be a time when your phone needs to be repaired, and you should be prepared.
interpretation: This involves issues of responsibility awareness and remuneration for labor.
We have known since childhood that we need to compensate for damage to public property. In fact, we also need to compensate for damage to things at home. The child has caused financial losses and must earn money through his own labor to compensate.
Article 7: Do not use your mobile phone to deceive or fool others. Conversations that do not involve harming others. People who are not familiar with each other can be friends first, and don't show your heart and soul easily.
interpretation: Be honest and kind.
If a child likes to send such messages to others since he was a child, over time, it will have an impact on the child's personality development.
Article 8: If you are unwilling to say it in person, do not say it via text message, email, or phone call.
interpretation: Direct communication is the best way to solve problems. Face it bravely and don't avoid it. Dr.
personally believes that it is best to communicate face to face. After all, sometimes words cannot accurately reflect the emotions and facial expressions of the parties involved, which can easily lead to misunderstandings.
Moreover, direct communication is conducive to cultivating children's awareness of daring to face problems head-on.
Article 9: In public places: turn off your phone, or at least mute it. Especially in restaurants, movie theaters, or when talking to people. Are you a rude person and can't let the phone change that.
interpretation: This is a matter of etiquette in public places.
You must not influence others in public places. This is basic etiquette and self-cultivation. The use of mobile phones is only one aspect.
Think about it, when you want to read a book you like quietly, when you are thinking about a problem in the library and have just found a clue, if someone else's cell phone ringtone rings in silence, how will you feel? Woolen cloth?
When necessary, put your phone on silent mode. A small step for your finger may be a giant step for your relationship.
Article 10: Do not send or receive photos of your private parts or anyone else’s private parts. Don't laugh, even though you think you are smart enough, one day, you will be tempted. This is dangerous and can ruin your teenage, college, and adult life. This is always a bad idea. The boundless cyberspace is more powerful than you. Therefore, it is difficult to recover from the flood, including a bad reputation.
Interpretation: Tell children about the dangers of pornography.
Article 11: Don’t take countless photos and videos. You don’t need to record everything with your mobile phone. Experience life wholeheartedly, and these images will be stored in your eternal memory.
interpretation: Don’t become a slave to your mobile phone.
We always think that the scenery we take pictures means we own it, and we always think that collecting articles means reading them ourselves. In fact, this is not the case.
Feeling it with your heart is more impressive than casually taking a picture.
Article 12: Leave your phone at home occasionally, and then go out with peace of mind. It’s not alive or an extension of you, and you’ll be fine without your phone.
interpretation: Don’t be kidnapped by your mobile phone.
In the era of mobile Internet, smartphones have become an indispensable tool for people's lives and work. If you forget your mobile phone when you go out, you will feel a serious "insecurity".
There is a popular saying now, "You can forget to bring anything when you go out, but you must never forget to bring your mobile phone." Many people will feel anxious when they go out without their mobile phones, and they may even be unable to work well.
Recently, scholars at the University of Missouri in the United States conducted some research and found that if people are separated from their iPhone, it will cause severe mental anxiety, affect physiological indicators such as heartbeat, and affect their cognitive abilities.
When did mobile phones have such a great impact on us?
Article 13: Use your mobile phone to play word games, puzzles or brain teasers from time to time.
Interpretation: Education through fun.
Entertainment is human nature. Mobile phones have entertainment functions. While entertaining, they can also help intelligence, which is the best of both worlds. Concepts like
can also be used in other aspects.
Article 14: See the world with your eyes. Observe what is happening in the world around you: look out the window, listen to the chirping of birds, take a walk, chat with people, and be in a daze without having to search on Google (in China it is Baidu ).
interpretation: Don’t be a bastard.
Apart from the mobile phone, I am deaf and blind. This is really sick.
God has given us a pair of eyes, and we use them to discover the beauty of life. When you raise your head and look at the sky, you will find that life is so beautiful.
Article 15: There will definitely be times when you cannot make good use of your mobile phone. I will take the phone back. Then, let's sit down and talk about the problems we encountered. Let's start over together, and I will always be by your side, learning and improving from experience together. We are in the same boat.
interpretation: Contract awareness and family awareness.
Some people say that one of the biggest characteristics of Westerners is their sense of contract. At the same time, Westerners also pay attention to family. As a family, we grow together, both at home and abroad.
This letter is not only a guide for mothers to restrain their children from using mobile phones, but also reflects a mother's complete educational philosophy.
03
Actually, don’t talk about children, let’s just talk about us adults. Nowadays, most people spend their time chatting on WeChat, checking Moments, Weibo, playing games, etc. on their mobile phones.
We always pay too much attention to the living conditions of others and external information, but we fail to notice that more precious things are quietly being lost around us.
When we lower our heads and play with our mobile phones, do you find that your significant other is in a bad mood today? How long has it been since you sat down and had a good chat?
Before going to bed every day, they each held their mobile phones and chatted. Although they were in the same bed, they had increasingly nothing to talk about, and only one room was quiet at night.
When we were playing on our mobile phones, did we find that our children were unhappy when they came back today? Or do you know how much children want their parents to be with them, but sometimes we ignore our children. Have you noticed that our children are alienating us?
Finally, I want to say something from my heart to everyone:
Put down your mobile phone and spend more time with your relatives and children. Don’t let us become slaves of our mobile phones and let our mobile phones kidnap our lives!
is reproduced from Dr. Pickup Book, with some deletions.
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