Recently, I watched 8 sets of CCTV's latest family education TV series "Come on! Mom", which brings together many outstanding actors such as Zhang Yuqi, Wu Yue, Dong Jie, Hai Lu, Pan Zhilin, etc. The plot revolves around the critical stages of children's transition from infancy t

recently watched 8 sets of CCTV's latest family education TV series "Come on!" "Mom", which brings together many outstanding actors such as Zhang Yuqi , Wu Yue , Dong Jie , Hai Lu, Pan Zhilin , etc. The plot revolves around the critical stages of the children of five families from infancy to childhood.

What I want to talk to you about today is the stay-at-home mother He Xiaohan (played by Dong Jie) and her mother-in-law ( Zhu Yin).

Conflict between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law has been a hotly debated family problem for hundreds of years. In the drama, "the mother-in-law enters the couple's room without knocking" and "sons are favored over daughters and forced to have a second child"... These scenes resonate with everyone, and add The mother-in-law played by Zhu Yin was full of drama, and the audience felt very involved in watching it. They all said that the mother-in-law was also angry with them and wanted to rush to the screen to fight her!

He Xiaohan's 5-year-old daughter Youyou is also the child who impressed me the most in the play. Because of her grandmother's influence, she was diagnosed with gender cognitive disorder . She wants to be a boy, not a girl.

1

The powerful mother-in-law is a "crazy mother-in-law"

She plots against her daughter-in-law to get pregnant with her second child

A stay-at-home mother, He Xiaohan, has low education and is a small-town girl. After marrying Dr. Tian Siyang, she has lived a life of luxury and prosperity. It seems that He Xiaohan married well. But behind the glamor, He Xiaohan's life was filled with countless unspeakable grievances and sadness, which can be summed up in one point - Her mother-in-law is so strong that she is perverted, and lacks a sense of boundaries and self-knowledge.

Tian Siyang has a high income and supports the family alone, but her mother-in-law dislikes He Xiaohan's background and abilities. In this unmatched marriage, He Xiaohan's humility and forbearance have nowhere to hide.

One detail is that the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law talked about the connection between childhood and childhood. The mother-in-law bought some elementary school math Olympiad numbers. She bluntly asked her daughter-in-law to learn them first so that she could tutor her children later. Her words were full of contempt for her daughter-in-law.

A full-time mother who has no job, no money, and no advantages in herself or her background, her status in this family is not as good as that of a nanny.

Her husband Tian Siyang is a typical mama's boy with low emotional intelligence and does not know how to regulate the relationship between his mother and his wife. He only gets along with each other.

The most terrible thing is that her mother-in-law is very patriarchal at heart. He Xiaohan and Tian Siyang have a daughter Youyou, and her mother-in-law tries her best to give them a grandson.

The mother-in-law bought the ovulation paper on her own initiative and required the couple to have sex according to the days in the ovulation cycle.

The mother-in-law also secretly observed the couple's movements outside the room. When she found that they did not have sex on time, the mother-in-law first asked the nanny to knock on the door to interrupt. After the nanny interrupted to no avail, the mother-in-law personally broke into the young couple's room and stopped them from having sex. She took out the ovulation cycle chart and warned them again that they must follow the days listed above...

In addition to having sex, the mother-in-law Under the guise of letting He Xiaohan take vitamins, he forced her to take folic acid .

In the eyes of her mother-in-law, He Xiaohan seemed to be a machine that gave birth to her grandson. Other than that, it had no other function.

After there was really no way to persuade the couple to have a second child, the mother-in-law had a bad idea and broke the condom while He Xiaohan was not paying attention... He Xiaohan was eventually "calculated" to become pregnant with the second child.

The mother-in-law secretly went to the doctor and asked her whether her daughter-in-law was having a boy or a girl, but the doctor said he couldn't tell. As a result, the mother-in-law misunderstood the doctor's action of pouring water and thought that the doctor was hinting to her that the baby in He Xiaohan's belly was a girl.

He Xiaohan has been isolated and helpless under the high pressure of her mother-in-law for many years. She suffers from depression and needs to take medicine to relieve stress. Taking antidepressants may cause fetal malformation. He Xiaohan is also somewhat entangled with the issue of whether to keep the child.Because of the doctor's suggestion (the doctor just poured out the water that had been in the cup for a long time and replaced it with a new one, without hinting that it was a girl), the mother-in-law asked He Xiaohan to abort the child under the pretext of eugenics and eugenics.

"How happy I am to be pregnant, this family. Now they are all paying attention to eugenics and nurturing. My mother was sitting there just now and suddenly my heart skipped a beat. I was thinking, tell me, what if, what if this drug is harmful to the child? It has an impact. What do you think I should do? "

If she hadn't asked the doctor in the hospital whether the fetus was a boy or a girl, I would have really thought that she was worried about the child. After all, she was just worried about it. Care about boy or girl.

In the end, her mother-in-law planned to make He Xiaohan fall down the stairs and have a miscarriage. Ironically, the child who aborted was a boy, and her mother-in-law regretted it.

2

The mother-in-law who favors sons over daughters said

"Only boys can achieve great things"

"Come on!" Several children in "Mom" have varying degrees of mental illness, and the same is true for He Xiaohan's daughter Youyou.

Youyou was affected by various manifestations of her grandmother's preference for boys over girls, and she suffered from a serious psychological problem - gender cognitive disorder.

Her mother-in-law agreed to the marriage because He Xiaohan was pregnant and wanted to have a grandson. Unexpectedly, He Xiaohan gave birth to a girl, Youyou.

Youyou has a lively and active nature and is not liked by her mother-in-law. Her mother-in-law blames He Xiaohan for all of Youyou's problems. She thinks there is something wrong with her daughter-in-law's education. She often compares her grandson with Youyou, and even says "boy" in front of Youyou. No matter how good the baby is, only boys can achieve great things, balabala..."

Grandma's dislike, coupled with stereotype - Youyou is not allowed to learn Taekwondo, girls can only learn dance... Youyou doesn't want to be a girl, Youyou I think grandma likes boys, so if she becomes a boy, grandma will approve of her.

As a result, Youyou refused to wear a skirt, went to the men's restroom, imitated her father in shaving, and only acted weirdly during dance classes.

The doctor's explanation is - "Youyou continues to deny her role as a girl and feels that it is better to be a boy than a girl. This is a psychological problem; if the child particularly wants to be recognized by her elders, then she will work hard to prove herself. No worse than boys, the behavior and psychology will be more inclined to boys. "

In a harmonious family, the father will bring confidence and strength to the child, the mother will bring emotional belonging to the child, and the elders will know the boundaries, and understand the boundaries. The whole family will be more cohesive and it will be easier to raise healthy, confident and cheerful children.

On the contrary, once trust is lost and the flow of emotions is blocked, not only will there be cracks in the relationship between husband and wife, mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, and parent-child relationship, but the balance of the entire family system will be broken. Family members may also suffer from various physical and mental symptoms like Youyou.

3

A stay-at-home mother’s “breakout”

A mother-in-law’s “exit”

It was only when He Xiaohan realized her daughter’s psychological problems that she realized that blindly pleasing her mother-in-law would not gain real respect and recognition. A bad family environment would harm her daughter’s health. Growth is also affected.

In the subsequent plot, He Xiaohan chose to fight for her daughter, and the family of three moved out to live together independently. She also started a business with another mother Zhou Nannan (played by Zhang Yuqi).

Tian Siyang also made changes. He wrote a review letter to He Xiaohan. The content was only 5 short, and it was very precise: the conflict between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law; ignoring the needs of his wife; and the attitude towards having a second child. Unclear; ignored Youyou's psychological growth; did not give his wife any help in educating her daughter.

Tian Siyang went from being a mama's boy who didn't help his wife when he poured oil from the bottle and who listened to his mother in everything. He has completely grown up and turned into a good father who takes the initiative to make soup for his wife and play football with his daughter.

As for He Xiaohan's mother-in-law, she also began to review herself and try to make changes. After living separately, the family is developing in a good direction.

Any interpersonal relationship requires a "sense of boundaries". The beauty of distance also applies to family relationships. Boundaries may seem cold, but they’re the magic that creates perfect relationships.

A wise mother-in-law knows how to withdraw from her son's life at the right time. She also knows that being good to her daughter-in-law is good to her son and the whole family.

Many family problems in the drama were finally resolved. Some netizens joked that this drama spends 39 episodes to make you angry and the last episode to comfort you.

In the real world, there are mothers-in-law like He Xiaohan who are unreasonable, patriarchal and have no sense of boundaries. There are also mothers-in-law who are respectful and friendly to their daughter-in-law and keep a distance from their son's small family.

In terms of probability, there are a minority of particularly weird mother-in-laws, and of course very good mothers-in-law are also rare. Most mothers-in-law must have good times in life, and there are also times when they want to complain about them.

The so-called " mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationship" seems to be a relationship between two people, but it is actually a relationship between three people. When He Xiaohan and Tian Siyang quarreled before, he said: "The conflict between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law in this world is because of a husband like you who does nothing."

Not only does the mother-in-law need to give an attitude, but also the daughter-in-law needs to give a response, and there is a response. , in order to achieve a positive cycle, it also requires the coordination of the son. Only when the family moves towards a common goal can the family be stable and harmonious.

The relationship between people is very strange. There is no perfect mother-in-law, and there is no perfect daughter-in-law. There are only mother-in-law and daughter-in-law who slowly learn to get along with each other.

If you have anything to say about the issue of mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, please feel free to discuss it with us in the message area.