Such a video appeared on the Internet before, which caused many people to discuss it. In the video, a mother was punched and kicked by her child because she confiscated her child's mobile phone and refused to let her play games.
It is hard to imagine that this is something that a child of only about 10 years old can do. What is even more difficult to imagine is that the grandmother on the side did not dare to step forward to stop it, but just warned the child not to hit him again.
This video made many netizens lament that today’s children are really difficult to discipline and like to make noises at every turn. But in fact, a large part of the reason for this situation has to do with parents.
Research expert on children's psychological problems Li Meijin : What kind of character parents give their children determines their future development
In a speech, a psychology professor once told such a story. A four or five-year-old little girl was playing When she was making a doll, she treated the doll very roughly, and sometimes even tore the doll, causing damage to the doll. This abnormal behavior attracted the attention of her father.
But her father did not adopt a simple and crude way to deal with this problem. Instead, he chose a method more suitable for children. He told the little girl that if the doll was treated like this, it would make the doll feel uncomfortable and painful. The method taught the child the principle of "don't do to others what you don't want others to do to you." After listening to it, the little girl thought about it and became gentler in the way she treated the doll.
Why is it said that a child’s future personality is hidden in the words and deeds of his parents?
The words and deeds of parents affect the character of their children.
I don’t know if you have noticed that most of the children who are polite to others usually have parents who are polite to others.
As for children who are usually rude to others and prone to swearing, their parents often have the same problem in their words and deeds.
Children at the stage of ~12 years old belong to the learning stage. Parents, as the people they get along with day and night, are the children's main learning objects.
Therefore, parents’ words and deeds will largely affect their children’s personality. Therefore, in life, parents must first be themselves and try to avoid swearing or losing temper in front of their children to avoid affecting their children.
Lack of parental education can easily cause children to develop extreme personalities.
Relevant organizations have made statistics. The reason why many juvenile delinquents end up making big mistakes and turning to crime is largely related to the education of their parents.
Many juvenile offenders are single-parent families or left-behind children. When they were growing up, due to the lack of education from their parents and the connivance of their grandparents, they developed extreme personalities.
Nowadays, some young parents have to leave their children to their elders to take care of them due to work reasons, but in fact this will have a great impact on the children's personality.
There are certain drawbacks to intergenerational education, because grandparents tend to love their children more than their parents and are more likely to condone their children's inappropriate behavior. If things go on like this, the children will develop a irritable character.
Frequent denial of children can easily lead to children developing a cowardly character.
I once saw such a scene in an amusement park. When a mother and child participated in a parent-child activity game, the child's performance was poor, resulting in the final loss of the game.
After the game, I saw the mother blaming her child, saying that he was clumsy and could not play such a simple game well and could not teach it no matter how hard he taught it.
At that moment, I saw the child’s eyes were so depressed, and his submissive figure was so distressing.
In the process of getting along with their children, parents may not take their comments to their children to heart.But for children, parents’ evaluation is very important. If they deny their children continuously, it will only hit their self-confidence and make them less and less afraid to try.
Parents who do these things can help their children develop a good character
) Encourage their children more
The period from 0 to 8 years old is when children have the strongest learning ability. Children at this stage are curious about many things. I want to try many things, but because it is the first time for children to do many things, the results are not very ideal.
Therefore, during this period, parents should try not to deny their children, but encourage them more, so as to build their children's confidence and let them dare to try new things, so that their children can get better exercise.
) Let children have empathy
I don’t know if you have noticed that in our previous student life, those who were not liked by the classmates around them were often more selfish people, and they often only did things. Think about your own gains and losses and feelings, and never consider how your actions will cause trouble to others.
Whether or not you have empathy determines a child's personality and emotional intelligence to a large extent. Parents must learn to guide their children to develop empathy in their daily lives.
For example, when a child quarrels with others, tell the child to understand the feelings of others, so that the next time a similar thing happens, the child will have scruples and control his emotions.
) Action is the best way to educate children
In fact, teaching children hundreds of words is not as good as taking real actions once and being a good role model for children. It is unrealistic to expect children to have a good character just by relying on oral education. A good character cannot be developed in a day or two. It requires long-term nurturing by the family.
Therefore, parents should set an example in their daily lives and set a good example for their children with practical actions, so that their children can learn from their parents and gradually form good characters.
Conclusion
Learning can determine the upper limit of a child's future life, but personality can determine the lower limit of a child's future life. Therefore, as parents, we must pay attention to the character education of our children so that they can gradually develop good characters.
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