article/maternal and child journal
Women live a chic and comfortable life before marriage. They pay attention to not only quality but also taste. Go out to dress up a star. In fact, the love of beauty is the hobby of all women, and it is also their own right. Women who are mothers are particularly envious of the lives of single women. They have asked themselves countless times that if time can go back a few years, how can they not enter into marriage and have children, because this is not the life they want at all, that is to say, there is a huge gap between reality and expectations.
Why do women not want to get married now?
When I was chatting with my girlfriend in the coffee shop, he said that my husband basically played no role in the marriage. He could not support the family independently, and he did not want to bring the baby. When the old man brought the baby, he would go home. No matter, just know that you lie on the sofa and watch the video. It was okay when I first got married, especially when I had a child, he went too far, and violent me.
I seem to have realized that marriage and society have put too much pressure on women. They have to bear the costs of childbirth, raising children, time costs, and health. They may also lose their jobs or lose room for growth.
Marriage makes women lose their independent personality. Look at the children’s kindergarten group, the code name of the mother is the child’s name plus the word mother, or the husband’s name plus the word wife or wife, nothing more.
But this "title" does not match the contribution of women. The pain of pregnancy, the pain of childbirth, the difficulty of work, and the tiredness of caring for the family require not only caring for the elderly, but also tutoring the children.
If the other half is found to be inappropriate,It's really impossible to spend the rest of my life together. If you want to get a divorce, you have to get through the divorce cooling-off period.
Women who have not given birth may not realize it. In a sense, whether you are happy after marriage has a certain relationship with the choices you made before marriage. You may just talk about relationships and forget some important information. I will help you analyze the things you need to know before getting married from the perspective of someone who has come here.
mother-in-law relationship
As the saying goes, family and everything flourish.
If there is no problem with your family, you should observe how the relationship between the man’s family is. In families with frequent quarrels, single-parent families or orphan families, boys will have some psychological problems. Although it is not absolute, it is a causal relationship. .
For example, children who grow up in a single-parent family have an undesirable effect of lack of love, and the effect cannot be erased in the future. If both parents can set no conditions for the love and acceptance of the child, the harm to the child can be reduced, and the child can still grow up happily and healthy.
In fact, it is difficult for divorced parents in reality to do this. Some will treat the child as a weight and refuse to punish or retaliate against the child from visiting the child ; it is also possible The family members are worried that the other party will take the child away quietly, and are unwilling to give the other party a chance to see the child.The child eventually becomes a "tool" for the two families to fight, and the harm caused is beyond the family's comprehension.
is not to say that such a boy does not have the right to find someone. It just reminds the girl whether you have the ability to heal his childhood injuries, because the early injuries will inevitably be reflected in your usual contacts. For example, there may be disagreements on one thing, if the other party insists, are you willing to make concessions. If you cannot bear it, conflicts may accumulate. Although you are determined to change a person, it is difficult and difficult.
Family Education
The family environment and family education methods that a boy lives in since childhood will determine his three views and the way he treats his children in the future. If he has lost his father’s love since he was a child, he will suffer psychological trauma because of his lack of experience in being educated by his father. When dealing with children, he will have no way to start and no rules.
Economic basis
The economic basis is very important , for example, it’s not good for a male to have a taller head, it can’t balance the appearance of a man. But if you have a family, you can still marry a beautiful daughter-in-law. My cousin is already a mother with a second child, and she can earn more than 10,000 yuan a month if she is not at home. She lives in a villa with three cars, one off-road, and two cars.
The cousin can both make money and support the family. Whenever he has time, he will bring the baby alone, as does the grandparents. The housework is not done by my cousin, but a nanny is hired.
I was before marriage,She kept asking me if I had found a partner, and urged me to get married and give birth to one, or if I got old and didn't settle down.
If the family foundation is not good, no nanny is required, and the elderly cannot take care of them, women will suffer a lot, and they may have to make concessions at work and go home to be full-time mothers.
Of course, we cannot say that children from single-parent families are not good. Many of them are kind, capable, and do not procrastinate. The grandson's living environment has been a single-parent family since he was a child; the same is true of Mencius , but her mother attaches great importance to the family environment; Wei Qing and Huo Qubing 's uncles and nephews are also single-parent families.
and Liu Bei lost his father in his early years and lived with his mother selling woven mats; Fan Zhongyan lost his father at the age of 2 and remarried with his mother; Ouyang Xiu lost his father at the age of 4, and his mother devoted himself to nurturing his father .
Actually, there are many such characters, including modern Lu Xun, Bajin , Huran, Chaplin, Churchill and so on. No matter what family is born, as long as you know how to study hard, you will probably do something in the future.
Therefore, the selection of is a comprehensive factor. As long as there is no problem of principle, both sides are kind-hearted and willing to work together towards a beautiful purpose, the children will also be happy with them.
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