I often talk to my friends about the children at home, but there is only one problem in the conversation, that is, my children are too timid.
A few days ago, my daughter went to the dance class to rehearse a long dance, and she danced very well, but she ran away before the second day, and became very afraid to move forward.
At this time, the teacher was very helpless, and she had to temporarily adjust the dance formation.
Another time when I took my daughter to a training class to audition the course, because the child has just arrived in a new environment, as long as there are some noises, she is afraid to step in.
Sometimes it is clear that my daughter has done a complete pre-class preview, but every time the teacher calls her to answer a question, 's mind goes blank and she can't say anything.
I believe there will be parents who have the same troubles as me. At this time, we will all hesitate whether to just give up or push the child hard.
I don't think it is. We want children to learn to break through their limits, and parents only need to push it slightly.
Don't let children set limits, encourage them more!
"Why are you so timid and not smart enough, every thing can't do well!"
"I have taught you this question many times, but you still can't, why are you so stupid?"
"This one I have taught you many times about this matter, why do you still forget that you can’t learn anything and remember nothing!” Some parents always like to put their own tags on their children, they have no idea what kind of impact their casual words will have on their children.
How much trouble will this problem cause to children in the future. So over time, children will really set limits for themselves. Whenever they encounter difficulties and , they will give up on themselves and feel that they cannot do well.
So at this time, parents need to encourage their children more and let them do their own things boldly.
Don't expect too much from your child, make a plan according to the actual situation!
It is the wish of parents all over the world to hope that their children will become dragons and their daughters will become phoenixes. If a child shows a 99-point test paper to his mother, but the mother reprimands her for not getting 100 points in the test, the child will become depressed.
Children's sense of achievement and excitement are eliminated for the first time, which will make children self-doubt , and make children easy to indulge themselves.
Because they can't meet the requirements of their parents no matter what, because of this setting, children will be reluctant to move forward and just want to stay where they are.
And there are some children in life who seem to work very hard, but their grades cannot be improved no matter what, they have been kept at the same level, such children will often feel anxiety .
In fact, such children have clear goals and determination to make breakthroughs when they do many things.
But because of parental blame often will feel like nothing can be done. They can only do this, and they will set limits for themselves because of this, and want to rely on others for everything.
Parents should learn to let go of their high demands on their children, and make life and study plans with their children according to their children's existing level, so as to grow together.
What is self-limiting? How should parents respond?
In fact, it is easy to see some such children: they are welcomed by everyone, and everyone likes to praise him as a potential stock.
But when doing things, at the last step, they give up because of doubts about themselves, could have Deal with things well, because it is easy to deny yourself when you are in front of others.
But if such children are placed in a stressful environment, they can burst into their own little universe and succeed.
Why do many children have the ability to succeed, but they shut themselves up because of self-doubt and denial, and leave themselves in their comfort zone to do things they can do at their fingertips, but is reluctant to step into other fields and only escape? Behavior like
is actually the child setting limits for himself, and self-limiting is actually the child setting a level for himself in his heart, also called psychological height. The psychological height of
often implies that there are so many difficulties for the child that we cannot do it, we cannot succeed, and the probability of we want to succeed is likely to be zero, so don't do it.
Nudge the child, don't let the child stop!
When the child is anxious, parents should pay attention to the ups and downs of the child's emotions and communicate more with the child to relieve the child's nervous and anxious mood.
In fact, many parents will have disputes on the issue of children's self-limitation. Some parents will think that children should not be forced.
It is normal for children to be nervous, parents should learn how to accept their children's emotions Go with your child's emotions and don't provoke them.
Some parents will think that if the child is afraid and shy in the face of difficulties, then he will leave himself an retreat in the future. We should not let the child stay in place and push him "severely".
However, blindly helping children can easily cause children to withdraw when they encounter problems.
So parents should help their children relieve stress, adjust the pressure of children to near the critical point of pressure, and help children take the first step.
【Today's topic】How to let children break through their own limits? Tell us your opinion~
