Xiao He is the second year of high school this year and serves as the class monitor. He is synonymous with "excellence" in the minds of teachers and classmates. His parents are naturally very proud, and his college entrance examination target is 211 or 985.
What parents didn’t expect was that Xiao He would suddenly say, “I’m too tired! I don’t want to go to school anymore!”. This was a bolt from the blue for them and incredible. "Why" became the first question in my mind.
The following month was the worst day with the family atmosphere. Mom and dad sighed, and Xiao He Shen locked the door. Finally, my parents took Xiao He to the psychological counseling room. After communicating with the psychological counselor, they were surprised to find that Xiao He's symptoms had signs as early as junior high school.
3 Ignored in junior high school
eventually became a disease in high school
When I was in junior high school 3, facing the pressure of the high school entrance examination, Xiao He had already developed an aversion to learning, and his grades had declined for a while. During that time, he didn't want to communicate with anyone and was just stuck in the room alone. Sometimes I feel irritable for no reason and throw the book to the ground.
Although he later went to high school after his hard work. But the classmates I met in the new environment are better. Others seem to be able to learn well with ease, while they need to use the strength of hanging their heads and pricking their thighs to barely keep up.
This made him doubt his ability: Maybe I am not the material for learning? Faced with the evaluation and title of excellent and academic master, as well as the high expectations of his parents, he tightened his strings.
Recently, Xiao He found that he suddenly started to cry inexplicably while facing textbooks and exercises. The books he had read and the questions he had done were completely in his mind. Parents believe, "In high school, there will inevitably be pressure, but everyone is under a lot of pressure. Isn't it good to survive? If you survive, you can become a strong will!" Although they agree with the hard work of their children, they do not think that this is an incredible burden. If it collapses, it only means that the children are not firm in their will.
The pressure of the college entrance examination, the competition of classmates, and the expectations of parents made him deeply trapped in anxiety, irritability and depression. Eventually, the tense string broke, causing depression .
In recent years, there have been more and more cases of teenagers’ depression. The first "Epidemiological Survey on Mental Disorders for Children and Adolescents in October 2021" released in October 2021 shows that the probability of mental illness aged 12-16 is significantly higher than that of 6-11 years old. Among them, after the age of is over 12 years old, the prevalence of depression and drug use disorders increases with age. This year, a "2022 National Depression Blue Book" was released. The latest data shows that the prevalence of depression among adolescents has reached 15-20%, of which half of them are currently in school.
Most of the teenagers who were treated in Senpuri Psychological Center were high school students. After consultation, understanding and analysis, it was found that most children who were diagnosed in high school actually had depression and symptoms in junior high school, but were ignored by themselves and their parents. When the child has a physical reaction and goes to the hospital for treatment, the doctor says he needs to take medicine, and the parents will start to be anxious. "In fact, many emotional fluctuations will begin to increase after entering puberty when they go to junior high school, and then when they really start asking for help, most of them are in the high school stage."
Why is it in junior high school?
Encountering an ununderstood environment during adolescence
Data from the "2022 National Depression Blue Book" also shows that 86% and 68% of patients believe that the main causes of depression are emotional stress and family parent-child relationship .Children in junior and senior high school are at their adolescent age. At this time, they are reconstructing their relationship with their parents, schools, and society, and contradictions and pressures are concentrated in these aspects.
3 Adolescent children's own growth
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Generally speaking, the period of 10-20 years old is considered to be puberty. When the children enter junior high school, they enter puberty. At this time, the child's body hormones are changing and his mind is also undergoing changes. What is subtle is that children are growing up, but their parents do not adapt. They cannot accept that children go from being good children to teenagers who start to have their own ideas. The barriers and incomprehension arise, forming the so-called "generation gap". The suppressed emotions laid the groundwork for depression.
In fact, we cannot just blame parents. They discovered the changes in their children, but thought it was just a normal phenomenon in adolescence. "Isn't this the case for adolescence? They think they are cool, don't want to pay attention to others, become disliked to communicate with others, don't want to talk to parents, and like to stay in the house."
Entered adolescence. Due to the changes in hormones in the body, the children's emotional regulation and stability are not as harmonious as before, and their relationship with their family is not as harmonious. Therefore, children's emotions are easily overlooked or even ignored, which is one of the reasons why they are prone to depression during this period.
Score and pressure to go to school
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3 Junior high school stage, the biggest challenge that affects children is the middle school entrance examination. Academic achievements are regarded as the top priority by parents. Especially the "general and professional diversion" that has been widely mentioned in recent years has made parents very panic.
Parents often refer to their own requirements: "You can't even fail to get into high school, right? I was able to get into college with such difficult conditions before. Now, I have given you such good material conditions. Why don't you study hard? Why can't you achieve my original state? You must surpass me at the lowest level, right?"
After tide over the high school entrance examination, children and parents face the more intense test of the college entrance examination. This means that during the six years in junior high school and high school, they have always been doing their best and are in a tense mood.
Affected by policies and social environment, parents are becoming more and more anxious. Especially those parents who have received higher education are already graduates of 211 and 985 or even doctoral students. They have changed their classes through education and hope that their children will make another new breakthrough. However, the level of exceeding parents has been raised to the peak of academic education, which is a huge challenge for children.
In addition, although parents have increased their requirements for their children, their parenting level and educational awareness have not been improved. Their children's model was learned from the previous generation. Many parents have not done so-called "love education" that is praised and encouraged.
"Love" itself requires a heart full of love and peace to be able to do it. The generation of parents has not grown up in the environment of "love" and has not learned how to give "love". In other words, parents themselves are also a generation whose educational response model needs to be improved. They are not perfect, but they put forward extremely high requirements for their children. On the one hand, parents pursue higher and stronger children, but on the other hand, they do not know how to give their children the right support. The imbalance in supply and demand has stimulated greater contradictions.
The conflict between children's ideal world and reality
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3 Enter junior high school and high school, and children will first adapt to the new school and the new classmates' relationship.The cognition and dating patterns of adolescent children have undergone tremendous changes with childhood. Friends are no longer simply having fun together, but also carrying children's thoughts on their outlook on life, world outlook, and values.
Children in junior high school are also a critical period for physical development and ideological construction, and their exploration of themselves and external factors is further deepening. However, many things taught by , learned from books, and in reality, are so contrasting with each other, which makes people at a loss . When the chaotic social reality is inconsistent with the beauty in ideals, they are even more confused.
Many children nowadays live like adults, living a life that is two points and one line, but is not understood. They fail to get the ideal answer from their parents and school for many questions about themselves, society, and life, , which leads to deviations in their cognition, and the more mistakes they accumulate, and there is no channel to solve them. When there are too many to bear and exceed the capacity of the psychological load, the last straw will be defeated.
Treat children as children
Hurry discovery and helping hand
Junior high school goes to high school to get to high school is a critical period on the road of children's growth, and it is also a weak link in their mental health. If you cannot detect the signs of depression in time and let it rage, it will bring immeasurable harm to children and families. So, what early intervention work can parents do to help their children get through this period smoothly?
Active intervention in the early stage
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Request for help after depression is more just to make up for and save. Psychological counselors also recommend that "prevention is greater than treatment". Parents' energy, money they spend and the cost of their children's lives will be much lower, and the intervention effect will be the best. Once a child suffers from depression or even reaches the level of severe depression, it will be a great damage to the child's physical, mental and cognitive abilities. Once you find that your child has signs of depression, you should sort out and resolve them in time to avoid the accumulation of emotions to an uncontrollable level.
If parents have a good awareness, they can conduct regular family interviews and psychological assessments. Many times, parents will not find problems in their family, but others will find them, especially professionals.
In fact, the essence of psychological counseling is to "help others and help themselves", that is, "It is better to teach people and fish than to teach people and fish." Professionals will accompany their children to face problems and search and discover them together, but they do not teach them to find answers to problems, but to cultivate their children's ability to face problems and find answers, and help them establish an internal support system. If they encounter problems in the future, the children will no longer have to seek help from doctors and consultants. They will respond with their self-protection ability.
Scale analysis found potential problems
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Now, psychological screening has been included in the physical examination of middle school students, and it is often the form of a psychological assessment scale. The psychological assessment scales currently used by the school have certain authority internationally and can detect abnormalities in certain aspects of children to a certain extent, including some psychological states and physical symptoms.
Many adolescent children find it difficult to accurately express their situation to their parents and teachers, and even if they have abnormalities, they don’t know them, or they are afraid of some normal changes and suspect that they are abnormal.
For example, middle and high school children have general examination anxiety, and many children found that everyone has defaulted to it as normal.However, some children have physical symptoms such as anxiety and physical symptoms such as long-term insomnia, palpitations, and physical discomfort as soon as the exam is on. Such problems have long-term existence and affect their social functions, which are psychological abnormalities and require intervention and help.
psychological evaluation results have certain standards and universality, and have certain reference value. They can screen the situation when children and parents have problems or when problems begin to sprout, and help children find problems so that they can solve the problem.
Treat children as children
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"ta is still a child", this sentence once became a laughing stock for attacking parents online without moral sense. In fact, although children reach adolescence and develop into adulthood, their minds are still in the cognitive and exploration stage.
If you blindly transfer your anxiety about society and involuntary things to your children, then the children will bear the dual pressure from their parents and themselves, and there will be a risk of being crushed. If a child has a cry, he shouted: "Are I just a score machine in the eyes of parents? I am still just a child. Why should I bear the so-called success? What you call glory? Why can't I be myself?" He has no room to explore his own growth and cannot clearly identify his life pursuits, and will become a "hollow person."
Many parents sometimes feel conflicted: sometimes they feel that their children are still young, and they cannot try many other things except learning; sometimes they feel that their children are older, and they should take on greater responsibilities sensible. They often ignore a very objective fact: from the perspective of age, adolescent children are just underages. If they are overloaded, they will have a risk of collapse.
Therefore, we recommend that parents: treat their children as adults physically, let them take part of their responsibilities, and exercise their bodies; but from a psychological level, objectively realize that their children's views are still in the construction stage, and they need adults' understanding, recognition and guidance. Be a backing for a child to gradually grow into healthy and positive adults.
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