01
Two days ago, I listened to a speech by Teacher Liu Run two days ago. The final point was "How to open up the uncertainty of in 2022 and find the certainty of 2023 ".
Yesterday I listened to a live broadcast by Teacher Wu Zhihong, with the theme of "How to settle our body and mind in in the uncertain anxiety and fear of ".
" uncertain ", " anxiety " has become the keyword of the current state.
Recently, many of the major media articles are talking about "slackness" and "psychological elasticity", which shows that everyone's hearts are tight and their patience is often at the limit.
Teacher Wu said that whenever society is not so stable, there are many parents who ask him what to do if his child doesn’t do his homework and doesn’t fall in love with school. There are news in various media that parents are so angry that they go to the hospital for tutoring their children’s homework. People in the neighbor group often complain that someone is beating and scolding their children at night, which makes the neighbors unable to feel at ease.
Two days ago, the epidemic in Foxconn in Zhengzhou became a hot search in major media, touching the hearts of people across the country. The factory with hundreds of thousands of people was transferred and isolated, and a large number of employees were hiking dozens of kilometers home while worried about being infected. The rise and fall of Foxconn plays a significant role in Zhengzhou GDP and is also the livelihood of hundreds of thousands of people. You can imagine the mood of those isolated, forced to leave and still sticking to the shadow of the epidemic, the mood of Foxconn, which is sandwiched between production and epidemic prevention, and the mood of Zhengzhou ZF, which is also in a management dilemma.
A year ago, I answered on Zhihu, "What are the people who have lost their jobs due to the epidemic?" The number of readings exceeded 100,000 a month ago. This question has not been on the hot search, but new readings are added every day, indicating people's attention to this issue. There are also many new comments, and there are many more comments marked and deleted before I can read them, which means that there are also a lot of trolls. Maybe I want to find an exit for my depressed mood.
Another answer I wrote on Zhihu a few years ago about how to make dumplings. The reading volume exceeded 500,000 last week. When I accidentally saw this reading volume that day, I was very surprised. Could it be that being able to make dumplings by yourself and having a hot meal of dumplings has become something that everyone particularly wants to do? Can't afford the takeaway order? Don't be busy with work anymore? Or is it food the most important thing for people. When various entertainments are greatly reduced, everyone turned their attention to eating?
Yesterday I asked a friend of securities industry why white horse stocks , which have always been as stable as Mount Tai, plummeted for several consecutive days. He said that compared with other bank stocks, ICBC has been very strong, after all, the overall valuation of the Shanghai and Shenzhen 300 has fallen below the historical tens. The good news is that consumption and tourism have decreased significantly in the three years since the epidemic, and the growth rate of savings has increased significantly. When the environment is clear, monetary easing and the market is not short of funds. The liquidity to support consumption and the rebound of A shares is abundant. I hope this is a fact, not just comforting me, because for me, consumption downgrades are indeed visible to the naked eye. In the past, I spent several thousand every Double 11, and this year I only spent a few hundred yuan, but my income also dropped to the bottom simultaneously, and I had no spare money to save.
All these fragments gather together to outline a picture: In this era full of uncertainty, everyone in it is uneasy, and they don’t know if there will be a grain of dust from the times hitting their heads tomorrow and turning into a mountain, so everyone is very anxious.
02
How to resolve anxiety and find a little certainty in uncertainty?
Teacher Liu Run told us how to face change from a business perspective, and Teacher Wu Zhihong told us how to embrace reality from a psychological perspective, but they talked about one thing at the same time, which is the first habit in Stephen Covey's classic work "7 Habits of High-Efficacy People ": Actively and proactively .
There was a case in Liu Run's annual speech. I was deeply impressed by it: As the world reached a consensus on the huge impact of climate change on mankind and attached more and more importance to environmental protection, countries around the world have issued plastic restrictions, and many companies have complained, thinking that the cost of seeking environmental protection is too high, which is an obstacle to the development of their own companies. However, one company followed the trend, actively explored alternatives to plastics, and developed an environmentally friendly door card, which shone in the hotel industry and sold well at home and abroad. It supplies more than 100 million environmentally friendly hotel rooms to the world's top 30 hotel groups, more than 130 countries, and more than 20,000 luxury hotels every year. When many peers fell, their income rose instead of falling, from 60 million before the transformation to an estimated 200 million, becoming the invisible champion in this field. If we face changes, instead of complaining about the world, but follow the general trend, discover business opportunities in the trend, and take the initiative to innovate, we can turn challenges into opportunities.
Teacher Wu Zhihong also used a story to tell us how to actively respond to reality.
In "7 Habits of Highly Effective People", Covey tells the story of a psychiatry professor named Frankel survived many difficulties in a Nazi concentration camp. During the " World War II ", he was imprisoned in a death camp in Nazi Germany. His parents, wife and brothers all died in the clutches of the Nazis, leaving only one sister. He himself was humiliated and experienced torture and was in danger. However, he eventually transcended the Nazi shackles with the power of his mind, and influenced other prisoners and even prisoners to help his inmates find the meaning of life in suffering and find self-esteem. It can be said that he used the unique self-awareness of mankind to explore the most fundamental principle of human nature, that is, between stimulation and response, people have the freedom to choose.
How he did it specifically, Covey did not provide details, and Teacher Wu told in detail how this person found the flow of heart in the Nazi concentration camp, restoring the whole story of this story, which touched me deeply.
Teacher Wu introduced Stoicism, one of the four major philosophical schools of in ancient Greece. The core idea of this school is: If you want to gain happiness and freedom, you must understand the truth: we can control some things, while others cannot. Only by facing this basic principle and figuring out what you can control and what you can't control, and then control what you can control (can appropriately expand the range of what you can control), and accept what you can't control. It's that simple.
(Some things are in our control and others not. Things in our control are opinion, pursuit, desire, aversion, and, in a word, whatever are our own actions. Things not in our control are body, property, report, command, and, in one word, whatever are not our own actions.)
I think the focus on the influence circle rather than the attention circle in " Seven Habits of High-Efficacy People" should be derived from this philosophy.
Frankel was locked in a small dark room alone, thinking in the small dark room, what else can I control in such an environment? (Please think about what you would think if you were locked in the small black room of Nazi concentration camp?) Later he thought: I can measure the area of this house. So he began to try to measure the small black room in various ways, thus gaining a sense of control, and the time of imprisonment alone was no longer long and difficult. You should know that one of the most unbearable pains for humans is being imprisoned alone in a small dark room and losing all connections with the outside world. People will become crazy over time because people are social animals and need to live in relationships and cannot endure loneliness for a long time. Frankel used this positive response to let himself live completely in the present, develop a broad psychological space, allow himself to settle in it, and gain spiritual freedom.
Similarly, we cannot change the current environment, but we can work hard to do something we can do. Teacher Wu recommends doing something we like every day, you can meditate, exercise, read, cook, and be creative. This can stimulate your vitality and bring more vitality to neutralize the various dead energy projected from the outside, that is, various negative emotions and words and deeds. Frankel is still in prison and can find something that can be controlled. Our freedom is much greater than that. As long as we work hard, I believe that we can find some certainty as many companies that are digging gold in the business winter that Teacher Liu Run talks about.
Teacher Wu also has a particularly curative sentence. He said that many people fall into anxiety because they don’t realize how high they expect from themselves. We always feel that our lives are not good enough, and others are so good, but the reality is not the case. You have insomnia and can’t sleep; you have headaches, back, back, knee pain, and pain everywhere; your annual income is less than 100,000 yuan; you have a mortgage and car loan, and you have to pay off a lot of debts; your marriage is messy, and there is also a child who doesn’t want to take online classes or do homework to make you a headache... You think others are living a good life, but you are only experiencing all kinds of misfortunes. The fact is that most people’s situation is similar to yours, and your experience is actually the norm in life. It is all very luxurious to have a good sleep, a good intimate relationship, a good job, and a good life. It is not easy to be an ordinary person and live well.
We are usually influenced by filters from various media, and we always feel that the income of people around us is very high. Zhihu big V, Xiaohongshu blogger, and B station top star, with an average annual income of one million yuan. Those are the very few people at the top of the pyramid. The real wealth distribution follows the 28 law , that is, most of the wealth in society is concentrated in the hands of a very small number of people.
Let’s take a look at the authoritative data on residents’ income released by the National Bureau of Statistics: In 2021, the per capita disposable income of nationwide will be 35,128 yuan (monthly income is less than 3,000), of which urban residents will be 47,412 yuan (monthly income is less than 4,000), and rural residents will be 18,931 yuan (monthly income is less than 1,500). If you think the average is not convincing, then look at the median : 29,975 yuan (about 2,500 yuan per month).
If the unit of the family is, 90% of the families have an annual income of less than 100,000 yuan, and 75% of the families have an annual income of less than 44,500 yuan. From this set of data, have you seen the truth of reality? Many people with monthly salary of tens of thousands still feel uncomfortable living, but the fact is that nearly half of the people in the country have an average monthly income of less than 1,000.
Let’s look at the divorce rates in each province in 2021. More than 70% of the provinces have exceeded 30%. If you are still with your partner, you have been better than countless families that have fallen apart.
After listening to Teacher Wu’s live broadcast, I looked back at the days when I always felt as dull as water, and I felt a lot of joy. My husband and I like to make some delicious food to reward ourselves on weekends. We have made so many delicious foods: steamed sea bass , steamed fish head, steamed hairy crab, garlic vermicelli scallops, fried flat fish, braised mackerel , spicy crayfish, braised octopus, braised donkey meat , Meiji shrimp , fried hairtail fish, kao oysters, roasted lamb legs, stewed lamb scorpion, stewed wood chicken, oxtail pot, fish miscellaneous pot... saliva is about to flow down. Every time I taste the delicious food I cooked with my husband, I feel full of happiness. In this turbulent period, it is the greatest blessing in life to have a stable family, be able to eat and chat with your partner every day, and enjoy the spiritual pleasure brought by food.
Watched " Talk Show Conference " two days ago. The contestant Jiang Zihao's 's words resonated with countless people, and received the light shots from four laughers. They directly advanced:
in their twenties, successful at a young age, and made a lot of money. The appearance of
Now many people think I am very failed.
Actually I am just ordinary.
You should know that
A young man in his twenties working hard in a foreign land,
Ordinary and ordinary are the norm, and becoming famous and getting rich is perverted.
They are all perverts, what's wrong is they okay? !
When you see this seriously, it means that you still have the courage to face problems and the desire to solve problems, and are already on the road to healing yourself. Let us embrace our ordinary selves and give us a thumbs up for our hard work! When you can accept the lives of ordinary people and actively do what you can do, your anxiety has dissipated in the wind.
I am Rose, a senior English teacher, a senior teacher qualification certificate holder, Zhihu English columnist, has offered American drama classes, and has trained university teachers. One of the sponsors of Liu Run Reading Club’s co-reading reading camps, and held many co-reading camps. The founder of Rose Lifelong Learning Community, the mission and vision of the community is: light up each other and grow together!
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