A 9-year-old child always sweats when sleeping and twitches violently every 20 seconds. My family took him to many hospitals, but the cause of the disease could not be found.
Later, after being introduced by someone, they found an old Chinese doctor. After diagnosis, the old Chinese doctor told them that the child's disease is called tics syndrome, and the cause of the disease is mainly related to psychological factors. For example, the child’s parents have different feelings, family members often quarrel, and have too strict requirements on the child, etc.
After hearing this, the adults immediately replied, "We have all the situations you said." It turned out that the children's parents often quarreled because of their relationship discord and they often made divorces. Because the child's mother was disappointed in the marriage, she placed all her hopes on the child and had very strict requirements on the child's learning.
The old Chinese doctor explained that it is these behaviors of adults that make children often surrounded by negative emotions, which has a great impact on their psychology, and even physical health problems arise.
psychologist Adler once said: "If a child's mother cannot control her emotions and complains and nags all day long, then the biggest impact will be her child. Her daughter is likely to become sarcastic, mean and picky, while her son is very insecure, always in a defensive state, becoming indecisive, timid, cowardly."
It is no exaggeration to say that the mother's emotions determine the child's life to some extent. Mothers are in a peaceful mood, and the child will become positive and cheerful. Mothers are often in a state of emotional out of control. Children either imitate their mothers or try their best to suppress their true emotions.
However, every mother is an ordinary person and will have joy, anger, sorrow, and happiness. It is inevitable to have emotions. What we need to learn is how to deal with our emotions. In other words, we must understand what we should do in the face of emotions so that we will not cause harm to our children.
First of all, try not to do anything under the control of emotions.
Also remember the heartbreaking news. The child was discovered by the teacher playing with his cell phone at school. The teacher called and invited the child's mother to the school. The mother was very angry at the time and slapped the child in front of the teacher and classmates. It was this action that made the child jump from downstairs and led to an irreversible tragedy.
When parents are emotional, especially when it is related to their children, they must not vent their emotions at the children. Find a way to calm down first, and then solve the problem with your child when your emotions pass. Because children have relatively poor psychological tolerance and relatively simple thinking, they are more likely to be impulsive and lose their minds.
Secondly, parents should learn to deal with their negative emotions.
Psychologists' research shows that when people suppress their emotions, they will produce energy that is harmful to the body. If negative emotions can be vented in a timely manner, these adverse effects will disappear. Therefore, when we have emotions, don’t suppress them, but vent them in a reasonable way.
There are many ways to vent emotions. Some people like to exercise, some like to talk, some choose to have a big meal, and some choose to have a good sleep. As long as it suits you and is effective, it is OK.
Finally, you must learn to talk about emotions with your children and consciously cultivate their emotional abilities.
At different ages of children, adults should use language that children can understand and teach children to understand emotions, vent emotions and regulate emotions. It was a long, hard work, test of patience and method, but it was also worth it. Once a child has good emotional ability, he can benefit for life.
Adults and children will have emotions. As parents, you need to set an example for your children. Don’t let your bad emotions affect your children. You should teach your children how to deal with emotions through personal demonstrations.
This article is original by "Guo Lifang Psychological Studio". You are welcome to follow, like and comment. The article is not reproduced.
