Author: Manman (36 years old, educator) I was diagnosed with depression in 2015. The main symptoms are: not wanting to talk, feeling in pain, always suppressing his emotions, and often crying secretly; his mind is filled with negative thoughts, and he feels that the people around

Author: Manman (36 years old, educator)

I was diagnosed with depression in 2015. The main symptoms are: not wanting to talk, feeling in pain, always suppressing his emotions,

often secretly crying; his head is full of negative thoughts, and he feels that the people around him are unfriendly to him; he cannot concentrate on his work. will also be affected.

The doctor prescribed medicine for me, but through Baidu , I learned that medicine only treats the symptoms but not the root cause. To cure completely, I still need to change psychologically. So I took some psychology classes.

After a period of time, my mood is still unstable, with ups and downs, and I am more often depressed. There is no one to talk to, so I can only hide things in my heart.

Sometimes I told my friends around me, but they couldn’t understand it, which made me feel hurt again. In 2020, I had another major breast surgery.

After that, I realized that my mental state would be difficult to cure without the help of professionals, so I made up my mind to start psychotherapy.

One day, I accidentally searched for Jianxin Home on the Internet and met Teacher Zai Qingtian.

I have been learning the eight-step mindfulness method for more than two years now. At the beginning, I was very ambitious, but I didn't realize it. I just always remind myself to study hard.

Even sometimes when I am not working and resting at home, I will spend half a day listening to audio. But after persisting for a period of time, I felt that my emotional state was not improving, and my random thoughts were still there, and I could easily fall into the emotional whirlpool. When I encountered something, I still couldn't use mindfulness to deal with it.

I began to doubt: Can mindfulness really help me? I saw my friends who were studying together. Some of them joined the group later than me, but they all made varying degrees of progress. Some even shared their gains and learning experiences with everyone.

Anxious to get rid of depression , I began to doubt my ability to learn mindfulness. I became anxious, anxious, and began to attack myself. Sister Min in the

group learned about my situation and began to help me analyze the reasons. Encourage me to practice mindfulness every day. She would also specially copy Teacher Zai Qingtian’s replies to other students and forward them to me.

I was very touched by Sister Min's help to me. A sister I had never met helped me so carefully. I couldn't give up on saving myself, so I had the motivation to continue studying.

No matter how late every day, I will spend half an hour meditating, then listen to the system class audio, and do exercises along the way. During the exercise, I still have a lot of thoughts, but I won't reject them, I just remind myself to pull them back gently.

After listening to it, I didn’t judge the quality of the exercises. I just checked in on the exercises, shared pleasant events in the group, and @my group members. Listening to the audio, practicing, checking in, and finally sharing, I regard these as a process assignment. After the whole process is over, I start to sleep and no longer think about the effect of practice.

Slowly I can realize that when I practice mindfulness, my emotions will indeed become much more stable.

Doing exercises without any intention, living in the moment, and enjoying the process, this is my biggest gain so far!

Finally, I would like to give this to everyone, and also to myself: as long as you realize that mindfulness is useful to you, then just keep doing it. Believe in the three powers of mindfulness: smallness, persistence, and gentleness.

Thank you to Jianxin Home, to my interactive growth group members: Sister Min, Happy Baby, Xiaoxi in the Forest, and to myself. I hope you will grow up slowly and live a wonderful life!