Hot searches some time ago: Poet Yu Xiuhua was domestically abused!
Yu Xiuhuaâs new love did not come to an end as expected.
Overnight, the news that Yu Xiuhua was abandoned by her younger husband topped the list of many hot searches.
Who is Yu Xiuhua?
She is the female poet who wrote " traveled through half of China to sleep with you ".
She complained hoarsely in the video: "She slapped me hundreds of times."
"Pinched my neck and almost strangled me to death."
To be honest, I just felt terrible when I saw this.
People who understand each other know very well what the other personâs weaknesses are.
Yu Xiuhua was the one who was so angered that he showed his ugly face, Yang Huice was the one who calmly recorded with his cell phone.
It is better to say that it is the result of careful planning and guidance than an unexpected quarrel.
Partners who used to show off their affection are now tit-for-tat and hurt each other.
Onlookers were speechless except to sigh and ridicule.
There is a set of widely circulated data on the Internet:
Among the 270 million families in my country, about 30% of married women have experienced domestic violence .
On average every 7.4 seconds, a woman will be beaten by her husband.
Among the women who choose to commit suicide every year, 60% of them commit suicide because they suffered domestic violence.
This is still a visible fight, excluding the so-called cold violence.
What is particularly distressing is that once domestic violence occurs, most women may find it difficult to save themselves.
celebrity Yu Xiuhua was subjected to domestic violence and could only rely on Weibo to protect her rights.
And more other female compatriots ask relatives and friends for help, but the other party may be unable to do what they want and it will not help.
Even if the police call the police and the police come to your door, most of them can only focus on mediation.
In the end, I can only spend a long time in tolerance and fear.
Yu Xiuhua and Yang Chuce, one is an Internet celebrity poet and the other is an Anhui beekeeper.
One is in good health, handsome and charming, and the other is a cerebral palsy patient who stutters and staggers when he walks by.
What's terrible is that one is 46 years old and the other is 31 years old. There is a 15-year age difference between them.
Yu Xiuhua divorced her husband with the first pot of 150,000 yuan she earned from writing poems, and then turned around and wanted to marry a young woman. What are you planning on? Picture someone loves her, this guy is energetic and passionate about her.
As for Yangchu Ce, what is Tu Yu Xiuhua's fame? The amount of wealth this woman earned from writing poems is already considerable.
I wonder if a shocking love affair will cure Yu Xiuhuaâs miserable life! ?
I wonder if Yang Chuce will increasingly dislike his wife's appearance in a marriage where their ears and temples are close to each other?
There is also the loss of fertility and the harmonious relationship between husband and wife.
What is the essence of marriage?
We always have plans, but many peopleâs plans have little to do with love.
We marvel at Yu Xiuhua's bravery and excellence, and her talent is enough to make people marvel. However, we regret her lack of love and marriage. The more she lacks love, the more worried she will be bruised.
It is a pity that I see a person who lacks the ability to be happy, but desperately looks for the reason in others.
I think of the famous words of despair:
Every couple has 100 thoughts of divorce and 50 impulses to strangle each other to death.
However, in the sensational and short-lived marriage of Yu Xiuhua and Yang Huice, "strangling each other to death" may not be an impulse, but an actual domestic violence that has occurred.
Yang Huice was able to change from a beekeeper to a lyric poet because of Yu Xiuhua, who made him famous in one fell swoop.
- Is this love? This is taking shortcuts.
Emotional value is the most expensive thing in the world, and if a woman can only feel that this man loves her from the emotional value, then it is very likely that she will have to pay a lot.
Psychology believes that love is projection.
We are passionately in love with the anima or animus prototype in our hearts, but we think that we are in love with the lover in front of us.
When we project our inner image of an ideal lover to a person, it just means that some of the characteristics of this person echo this prototype in our heart, and the strong and fanatical emotions aroused allow us to project this image on the other person, thus You can't see the other person's true state at all.
Therefore, all fanatical and obsessed love states will not last too long and will inevitably lead to disillusionment and even the end of the relationship.
Because its occurrence and development are completely a process of self-illusion and projection.
Once both parties get along for a long time and the relationship is exposed in daily life, the charming images from the unconscious magic begin to fade away, and the lover in the eyes begins to become real, living, and imperfect.
When the projection is disillusioned, we usually try to examine the relationship, get to know the other person again, and see the more real person. In this way, the relationship moves into a deeper, more authentic state.
When love happens, it comes with its own filter. In , every love comes with its own filter. The first time I saw
, it was the first cause effect. Goodbye
, recency effect.
is gone, I will weave a romantic drama myself, direct and act in it. In this process,
is always accompanied by the halo effect of and . Like a filter, it passes through all the unbearable things on the other side, leaving only the seemingly beautiful existence, which continues to diffuse and spread.
The end of love is like waking up from a dream
As mentioned earlier, love happens because you like a certain point and fall in love with the whole person. Why is it different in
and later?
may be the point where you already have it and you want more.
Or, that point does not satisfy you well, and you start to care about other points. At this time, the filter of
has been removed, the whole person is presented in front of you, and the halo is dissipated. After finishing the addition of
, let's start the subtraction. If
is reduced to a negative score, if it is too far away from the ideal love, you will be disappointed and the love will end.
Ideal love does not exist, so it is destined to be destroyed.
After the fog dissipates, if you can still be together, this love will be strong.
If one party turns around and the other party refuses to leave, it may not be that they are greedy for something, but that they have discovered that they have been in love for so many years, but in the end, they just love a lonely person.
Ta just wants to stay in loneliness for a while.
Love is not only far from ideal, but also far from reality.
Negative emotions, the explicit behavior of subconscious dissatisfaction with needs
Projecting the desire for love on others, bringing deception and disillusionment.
Furthermore, in order to cover up the facts, they entered a real state of escape. In order to avoid their own responsibilities, they could only pass the blame.
What can kill people invisible?
has only two words: emotion .
When a person is angry, what is our inner voice?
"This is too much!"
"How can this be possible?!"
"This is too inappropriate!"
In our hearts, we have been pursuing fairness and reasonable treatment. This is the power of self-respect, self-respect, and hope for better.
Although every specific angry person has widely different concepts and boundaries in their minds, they are not always appropriate, especially when people are expressing their anger.
The tendency here is to pursue self-love and self-respect.
People who can express anger reasonably will not be too internally wounded and will not suffer from depression.
If there is one emotion that people feel most, it must be anger, and to a lesser degree, anger.
Most textbooks define anger as an emotional state of a strong desire to hurt someone or drive them away. The difference between anger and anger is the difference in degree.
Anger is the most primitive type of emotional system. In the evolution of human beings, it once played an extremely important role, but now it also brings harm to people that cannot be underestimated.
We often describe the emotion of anger as killing one thousand enemies and losing eight hundred to oneself. Sometimes it even means killing one thousand enemies and losing ten thousand to oneself.
Fear makes people avoid danger, sexual desire makes people reproduce, appetite makes people replenish energy, pain makes people pay attention to the body, and anger-increases combat effectiveness.
When our adrenaline increases, our heartbeat speeds up, our breathing speeds up, and our blood circulates rapidly, our muscle strength begins to increase and our limbs begin to prepare for battle.
Therefore, when we fight with beasts and enemies, anger becomes our best friend. It plays a greater role than any other emotion, because it can gather our ability and combat effectiveness in an instant. Explosive.
Anger is a gift left to each of us by genes in the long process of human evolution. Those individuals who have never been angry have long been eliminated in the long river of life evolution.
In many chicken soup articles, what we see is don't be angry. This is really a bit of a classic.
People with strong emotions are trapped deep in their hearts due to anger and low self-esteem.
This kind of anger is not towards the outside world, but towards oneself. is dissatisfied with himself and unable to control the world. His physical age has grown up, but mentally he is just a giant baby.
In the world of extremely emotional people, everything is mixed together. As long as there is a slight disturbance, they will feel that the whole is attacking themselves, and they will also fight back against the entire world. They are always filled with one thought, that is, obey. Me, otherwise we will all perish.
This huge inner disorder and loss of control is only one step away from destroying others.
We always hope that someone can pay for our emotions and pay for our irrationality and immaturity to prove love.
However, mature love requires two rational adults, each restraining their own behavior and taking responsibility for themselves.
What makes a man never return on the road of selfishness and cowardice?
would compare him with the other person from time to time, and then blaspheme about his "uselessness".
Women are really weird. They want to have the "upper hand" in marriage, but at the same time they admire those stronger men.
In most people's marriages, both parties are under severe depression and fear.
To a large extent, this has to do with the partners around you.
Love is never the tyranny of one person over another.
Many tragedies in marriages are caused by arguments and sudden advances.
When two people get married, they tie their emotions and interests together for the rest of their lives.
But because they are tied up, when there is a dispute or conflict, they often feel that the relationship is solid and they have no scruples about hurting the other party, making each other look ugly and unable to end.
In order to avoid the most embarrassing situation, we should all learn some ways to get along with each other.
has the worst effect, and it will not cost you your life;
has the best effect, as it can help each other find a way out while preserving your own emotional status.
Itâs not that strong women and weak men cannot live a good life, but it depends on how to manage things.
Marriage is a long-term companionship, not a place to judge whether or not to argue.
Marriage is a whole, both prosperous and destructive.
There is no need to force love, but you must be responsible for marriage.
A good marriage is about maintaining independent personality. A marriage that loses oneself is destined to be a nightmare.
Psychologist Winnicott said:
"The perfect relationship between a couple is to be alone in the arms of your lover."
A happy marriage is not about finding the right person, but about finding your independent self.
Regarding this, I want to say that everyone must be "responsible" to themselves, others, and marriage.
About the author: Teacher Xianhong
psychological counselor, tarot card diviner , planetary energy singing bowl healer, freelance coder, and trainer.
Listening to people's warmth and warmth in a humble room, and being affectionate and comfortable are all fate.
The world of mortals comes and goes without a trace, cooking words heals people's hearts.
I met you, and then I met myself. Destiny is like a knife. Let me and you learn together. ââPractical Psychology
