netizens ask:
Sixth grade girls, go to school in a normal mood, but may have a mischievous attitude towards learning and cope. Reluctant to do homework, perfunctory. Is the child tired of studying? What should I do?
Children like to read and do manual work, but they are all passive in dealing with learning matters, especially homework. If the homework can be delayed, it will be delayed. The daily homework and check-in assigned by the teacher during the holidays do not write or participate at all. I think about watching TV all day long, and read the book by myself if I don't let it. After most of the holiday, less than a quarter of my homework was written. Communication, encouragement, rewards, fighting and scolding have little effect. The old mother is really gone, and ask the big coffee to help! ! Thank
01
This is what we often say stylet camp, even if not let children play with cell phone , Do not let children watch TV, and children will not do their homework.
Like the problem of playing with mobile phones, parents tend to reverse cause and effect.
I don’t want to learn because I don’t play with mobile phones.But I didn't want to learn, so I went to play mobile phones.
Playing with mobile phones is the result, not the cause.
Many parents say that my children have had problems since they had mobile phones; some parents said that since my family bought a computer, their children started playing games and became addicted to the Internet... ….
In fact, children have problems before they escape to the Internet.
When you can't experience love and understanding in reality, you will escape to the Internet and place your spirit in the illusory electronic world.
I don’t know what to do to make it clear. Whether it’s learning-weariness or Internet addiction, it is actually a solution to a certain problem.
Playing on a mobile phone is just a solution to a certain problem. It is like an adult facing the pressure of work and going home and sitting in the car to smoke.
Smoking in the car is a solution for adults facing work pressure.
But the solution has become a problem, because smoking is harmful to your health and you are prone to some lung diseases.
Playing with mobile phones is a solution.
But in the parents' view, this solution is very bad, because it has serious negative effects.
Children are really smart now.
Before we Guanxinying took over a very smart child, his parents were very kind to him. After getting tired of studying, take him to play, eat delicious food, and give him space to think, but he Still tired of studying and don't want to go back to school, parents feel helpless.
In the consultation room, while his parents were going to the bathroom, he said to our consultation teacher, "Actually, I know I should go back to school. This is a good choice. I also know my parents. They treat me well, but I also know that they are good to me so that I can go back to school and let me realize their college dream."
Children really know what their parents’ behavior is for. .
02 1 What problem did the child encounter?
Our Guan Xinying teacher summarized the four-stage judgment method,You can understand how to judge by reading carefully.
The first stage of learning-weariness, the learning-weariness at the thinking level.
For example, I feel that learning is boring, that learning is inferior to others, that I can’t meet expectations, etc. These are some of the thoughts and ideas that everyone will have.
This is normal. Even adults with stronger mental endurance and more mature thinking logic sometimes do not want to go to work.
Most of the time, children can adjust themselves, but some children’s thoughts become obsessive, and they need the correct guidance of teachers, parents, or mutual enlightenment between classmates, otherwise they will Enter the second stage.
The second stage of learning weariness, the emotional level of learning weariness.
Children’s learning-weariness at this stage will show that they have no interest in learning and are unwilling to put in energy. The most obvious feature of this stage is that the learning attitude becomes passive and uncontrollable. On the one hand, I have dealt with the schoolwork. On the other hand, I think about learning and my emotions are out of control, and there is tension, anxiety, disgust, etc. negative emotion.
children may talk to their parents about their inner pain,However, teachers and parents are often regarded as hypocritical or not taken seriously. If the child’s weariness is not soothed and understood, it becomes the third stage.
The third stage is when there are behavioral problems, in the case of relatively mild anxiety, such as unwilling to study, not writing homework, unwilling to cooperate with the normal school class, etc.; moderate is beginning to avoid, such as not Willing to go to school, play truant, avoid reality, rely on the Internet for spiritual comfort, etc.; if it is more serious, there will be compulsive behaviors, such as repeated hand washing, repeated thinking about some even knowingly unnecessary questions, and even some unique and meaningful rituals and many more.
At this stage, the child's psychological pain begins to be externalized, from the inner world to the real world, some behavior problems appear, and once behavior problems occur, it will be very difficult.
The fourth stage is the emergence of serious consequences. The child may drop out of school at home, frequently skip school, and even experience severe depression. Not only are they reluctant to go to school, but they may also have various conflicts with their parents because of being at home for a long time. At this time, the problem of being tired of studying becomes a family conflict, and the child will feel extremely painful and depressed. Not only are they depressed and addicted to the Internet all day long, but even self-harm occurs. At the same time, if the parent-child relationship further deteriorates, the child may not have nostalgia for the world and will start to attempt suicidal behavior. soWhen children show that they hate learning, they are at least seriously tired of learning.
Parent preaching is often on the cognitive level, and the cognitive level is one level lower than emotions. Naturally, it can’t be solved. Communicate with the child and don’t know what to do with the child.
In fact, it is not that children are unwilling to communicate, but that parents feel that their children do not listen to themselves and do not do what they want, so parents think that they cannot communicate with their children.
In fact, parents want their children to do according to their own [requirements], but their children may not be able to do so.
If children cannot do this, parents will feel very angry and painful.
This is like we are teaching a cat how to bark. He can’t do it. No matter how angry or angry you are, it’s useless.
What parents can do is to manage their own affairs so that you can understand and communicate with your children.
The consultant of Guan Xinying found that too many accusations from parents are an important reason for children's school-weariness.
and,There is a very interesting phenomenon. The more time the parents have and the less busy their careers are, the more the blame will be.
Through communication analysis, Guanxinying for School Aversion Disorders found that if you don't do things, you won't make mistakes. Therefore, the more inactive parents are, the more they can stand firm in their accusations.
Therefore, when the school-absorbent Guanxin camp conducts consultation and intervention, it will position school-absorbed children as athletes. At this time, parents will no longer be the coach that criticizes and criticizes.
Guan Xinying’s consultant suggested that parents need to change their identities to be a cheerleader who encourages their children. A better approach is to be a sparring partner.
Of course, the consultant of Guanxinying should also explain that the sparring staff here are not going to study high school courses, but to find a learning point for their work and life.
tells a very interesting case. Before, a mother could not understand why her daughter was not willing to go to the interest class that she had spent tens of thousands of dollars on. When she was a child, she wanted this condition.
Later she enrolled in a cooking class by herself. Sometimes she didn't want to go to class. She instantly understood her daughter's mentality, but was able to communicate with her daughter and improved the parent-child problem.
Through my own learning, I deeply feel the pressure that my children experience in learning, and through my own changes and efforts in learning,Give your children a good company and role model.
All of your reprints will help school-absent children, so there is no need to apply for copyright permission.
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