If physical cancer ultimately only kills the patient, then psychological cancer not only destroys oneself, but also makes others a victim.
There are often unsatisfactory things in life. When people have some bad emotions, they will feel pain. Some pains are deep and heavy, and will enter people's memory, and it will be difficult to dissipate when gathered in the heart. This is the early stage of "heart cancer"-heart knot. I specifically discussed the issue of "dangerous knots" in the book "Who's Crime".
To give an example in life: You quarreled with someone today, and you didn't win the fight for some reason. A lot of things didn't come out, making people think you were unreasonable. You are so angry that you didn't sleep well one night when you went back, just thinking about how to get this thing back the next day. There is no chance on the second day, you just want the third day... So, you have a morbid state: you continue to spend the rest of the time to deal with the previous problems, so that you no longer pay attention to the new daily Life, stop paying attention to new things that can make you happy. This phenomenon is called the stagnation of mental development, which is a kind of mental disorder and the beginning of mental illness.
A boy saw his mother quarrel with his neighbor when he was nine years old. His mother had a fierce temper, and the neighbors were also fierce. After a quarrel, she moved the guy. The neighbor was holding a shovel, and his mother was holding a stick. As a result, his head was smashed by the shovel, bleeding a lot.
The boy was so scared that he kept crying, and his mother said: "What's the point of crying?"
So, the boy said: "Mom, I will avenge you when I grow up!"
10 years later, the boy took advantage of the neighbors During a nap, he entered the house with a kitchen knife and chopped off the neighbor's head. This insoluble knot is harmful to others and self.
Life is like a line extending in time. If you have been entangled in something that has passed and cannot get rid of the pain, your life line has a knot here, that is, your heart knot. Just like when you find a nodule in your body during a physical examination, it is not a good thing.
The characteristic of the heart knot is that it is caused by the reaction of a certain failure in the past, is entangled in the painful feeling of failure, and is obsessed with the recovery of the past failure. The knot makes people no longer pay attention to the present and the future, and does not consider whether it is reasonable to insist on not letting go, but to spend a whole new day to guard the failure that has passed.
There are not a few cases of crimes due to heart knots. I once studied a case: a young man Chen killed a female head teacher in the first grade of junior high more than 20 years later, because she habitually ignored the efforts of others, and the mantra used to motivate students was: "Don't think you are good." , You're still far away!" It's just that she didn't expect that a student who really wanted to be praised by the teacher would suffer for more than 20 years.
According to Chen, in 1992, at the age of 11, he was admitted to a key middle school with the first place. The head teacher in the first grade of junior high was mean, often ridiculing others, like to ridicule others, dismissive of his efforts, and damaging his self-esteem. This teacher only served as his head teacher for one year, but her attitude left him a deep psychological trauma.
After graduating from high school, Chen was successfully admitted to the University of Finance and Economics in this province. But he had to take a year off in his sophomore year, because he always had insomnia at night, his memory decreased, and he couldn't keep up with his studies. Less than a year after returning to school, he dropped out of school again and eventually did not complete his studies.
After finishing college, Chen can only work in Guangdong and other places. He attributed his insomnia at night and his inability to graduate from college to the bad attitude of the first-year class teacher towards him. He said: "As soon as I close my eyes, the teacher's hateful face is in front of me. I can't get rid of it."
In 2007, the 26-year-old Chen quit his job from Guangdong and wanted to talk to the head teacher. , Untie this knot. But the head teacher doesn't remember this student at all, and even thinks that he has come to her to tell her about the past after such a long time. This made him frustrated again, feeling that only by killing her can he eliminate his painful knots. However, in view of the lack of preparations at the time, he did not immediately commit the killing, but continued to go out to work.
On the Dragon Boat Festival in 2009, Chen resigned from Guangdong and returned home, preparing to retaliate. But he found that preparations were still insufficient, so he returned to work in Guangdong. Since then, he began to plan carefully, not going home for the Spring Festival for many years, so that no one in the village remembers him and no one can recognize him.
By October 2014, Chen not only prepared crime tools,I also carefully selected the location of the crime, and wanted to commit the crime on the way to and from get off work for this class teacher. In order to find out when the head teacher went to and from get out of class, he deliberately sneaked into the school and copied her timetable, and guarded her in the range of activities such as commuting to and from get off work.
Chen said that he did not intend to kill the head teacher at first, because that would only make her suffer. He wanted to pour sulfuric acid on her, and disfigurement would make her suffer for a lifetime. But he thought again, if she only disfigured her face, her mentality would still not change, and she would still treat others as before, and there was uncertainty about sulphuric acid pouring. Therefore, he finally decided to let her die.
One afternoon in January 2015, Chen lurked on the side of the road and saw the head teacher riding an electric car passing by the embankment. He rushed out and beat her on the head and chest with a steel rod until she died.
Chen told the police that in order to kill the class teacher, he hadn't contacted his family for nearly 10 years, and he rarely went home, just to let the family relationship weaken so that his family would not be too sad in the future. He also sent all the money he saved from working for more than ten years to his mother.
After being arrested, Chen said that for the first time in more than 20 years, he slept a solid night sleep, and felt that his qi was relieved and his mentality was not depressed. He had no regrets for the killing of the teacher, and only said that this matter must be done.
This case shows us how bad emotional experience can become "heart cancer". If the physical cancer ultimately only kills the patient, then the psychological cancer not only destroys oneself, but also makes others a victim.
This case also lets us know that the psychological trauma suffered by people in their early years is immeasurable. This requires not only the attention of parents, but also the attention of all teachers.
In fact, life is like a book. Let's not stare at a certain page, just turn it when it's time to turn it. There are a lot of wonderful content behind it. If we don't turn the text, we will never be able to feel the new life, and at the same time, the old pain will not be offset.
So, how to resolve bad emotions? Here are three simple and easy methods.
One is to exercise intentionally. When you feel bad emotions, especially when you are really angry and there is no place to spread the anger,You might as well rush out and run for several kilometers. When you run out of breath, the stuffiness will naturally dissipate.
The second is to find a good feeling to experience. For example, you can listen to music or watch your favorite movies and TV shows, immerse yourself in another good mood, and get rid of the feelings and memories of bad moods.
The third is to find friends to chat or eat. Although eating fat is not good, food does make people happy physically and mentally, and most people who can eat have no difficulty. Of course, those who can eat must also consume more, and more exercise is still an important prerequisite.
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