The most interesting and practical psychology to cultivate every day
These three families are tired and unable to raise promising children, especially the last one that harms others and others
A child becomes a talent The most effective way to receive education is to receive education. Education includes school education as well as family education. The impact of family education on individuals is beyond doubt.
Parents' personality, way of life, and their cognition and thinking in educating children will all have a certain degree of shaping the children's personality. The influence of the native family on people is often deep-rooted.
Psychoanalytic psychology genre (Psychoanalytic psychology) emphasizes the influence of childhood experiences on people, one of the main representatives of Freud believes that childhood experiences will affect a person after adulthood Until death.
The role of childhood experience in shaping an individual’s personality should not be underestimated. Generally speaking, 60% of a person’s personality will be affected by environmental factors, and the rest is due to heredity. The role of character shaping is constrained by the environment.
1. Family Education and Social Observation and Learning Theory
The growth environment of children is an important part of childhood experience, so naturally the parenting style of children will be extremely significant in shaping the character of children.
Chinese criminal psychologist Li Meijin ,In many years of research, it has been found that adolescents’ family parenting methods can effectively predict adolescents’ criminal behavior. In other words, the quality of family education determines whether a child’s development direction is reasonable.
Most of the school education we receive is the same. For most ordinary people, the gap between family education is a huge gap. Unfortunately, it is difficult for families to bring up something meaningful. Yes, good children and good parents have an impact on children beyond imagination.
Most children learn certain social skills through observation and imitation. , the psychologist and Bandura who proposed the "social observational learning theory", believes that the individual learns in the process of growing up Most of the knowledge is closely related to his observation and imitation of the outside world in this process.
Children learn by observing the behavior patterns of their parents. The positive or negative effects of the parents' behavior results are a kind of reinforcement for children who are not mentally sound.
Therefore, they will imitate the behavior of their parents in this process, and form their own unique cognitive and thinking models under the influence of their parents’ behavior patterns. Therefore, no matter how hard they work, some families cannot make their children outstanding. Become promising.
2. Which families will hinder the development of children?
Generally speaking, most families that cannot raise promising children fall into these three categories:
1. Quarreling family
Quarrel is for a family,It is extremely normal. Differences in cognitive concepts and thinking patterns make it easy for people to have conflicts and conflicts. Most children have seen their parents arguing.
Quarrels are not terrible, but the terrible thing is that they have been arguing all the time. Children who grow up in such a bad environment can hardly face life with a positive attitude, and their views on marriage and love will also become negative and disputes. The endless family is harmful to the children's growth.
Please click to enter the picture description (maximum 18 characters)
On the one hand, parental disputes will have a negative impact on the emotional breakdown of their children. , Quarreling parents will also ignore the growth of their children and the many needs in the process of growing up.
Most of the children who grow up in this kind of family are transparent people. They will have more powerlessness and loneliness in this kind of powerless and repressive living environment, and their mental health will be greatly affected, and they will also be affected as adults. It takes a very long time to heal.
2. Families with frequent domestic violence
Violence can have a great destructive effect on people’s body and mind, and any physical violence will leave a certain degree of shadow on the victim, most of which grow up in Children in Chinese-style families have had the experience of being beaten and scolded by their parents.
Spanning and scolding is a way of education for parents in the cultural environment of our country.The starting point is for the good of the children. However, regular beating and scolding is tantamount to domestic violence. Domestic violence is harmful to the formation of a person's personality and character.
Please click to enter the picture description (maximum 18 characters)
For psychology lovers, most of the "Silent Lamb" Red Dragon Biography have been read. It was its predecessor. The protagonist was a heinous murderer. After going back to the source, he discovered that his distortion and perversion came from a series of abuses he received as a child. Under the abuse of his grandmother, he became an extremist and gave back in a crazy way. The injury caused by his childhood experience.
Most children who are victims of domestic violence can hardly get out of the shadows in a short time. Most of them will have psychological problems and personality defects.
If things go on like this, their lives will also go to a certain abyss. This kind of injury is a double torture both physically and mentally. For this group of unfortunate children, self-healing is already an extremely long process, and their own value is enhanced. , There is promise, it is even more difficult to become excellent.
3. Over-spoiled family
Spoiling has always been a routine operation in Chinese families, and Chinese giant babies grew up in such families that were over-spoiled by their parents. Spoiling does not allow a person to have a healthy development. In the endless spoiling, they lose their life, they also lose their filial piety to their parents, respect for others, and harm others and themselves.
Wu Zhihong In the book " giant infant country ", sharply criticizes that the Chinese giant baby is a cancerous existence in the process of social development and progress. There is no morality, no empathy, and some are just endless demands from their parents. The children who grow up from this kind of family are extremely dangerous.
Most of the beloved children are unable to form the correct three views, cognitive defects prevent them from dealing with problems in the correct way, and often show extreme egocentric .
This kind of omnipotent narcissism in infancy has not completely degraded at this time has become the root of these giant babies’ cognitive distortions and selfishness, pity the parents of the world, thinking that they will give the best love Children can get their children's gratitude, and their children will be able to flourish.
This is not the case. The more doted children are, the harder they are to have a future. Not only that, but they can also harm others and themselves. In their existing values, the existence of others is to serve themselves, wrong perception Knowing will eventually lead them to the abyss.
.-The End-
Author | Tang Mida
Edit | Twenty-nine
First Psychological Lead Group | A group of young people who like to look up at the stars
Vulnerability: The Key to Better Relationships | Mark Manson. (2020). Smith, E. (2020). Your Flaws Are Probably More Attractive Than You Think They Are. Vulnerability. (2020).
