l
l Wu Xieyu is it a demon?
l One. He is not a born demon, he was created by nurturing the environment.
The trauma of Wu Xieyu's death caused by the death of Wu's father was not dealt with in time. He suppressed the pain. The teacher said that after the death of his father, not only did his grades not decline, but instead rose from second to first. He had to work harder than ordinary people to resist the impact of grief. Sadness does not mean that he will disappear when he is suppressed. It is lurking in his heart. After his father died, he continued to live in the emotional environment of his mother's repression and inspired him. The division of the nervous system is a genetic factor. Two aunts in the parent family suffer from schizophrenia. Biological factors are also one of the factors.
Two. Parent’s personality affects the child’s personality
l Wu Xieyu’s family and friends described it like this:
l Scene 1: "Wu Xieyu’s mother rarely speaks, wearing gray trousers and short sleeves, and she returned to her hometown. I rarely go out and communicate with relatives in the village, sitting quietly in the house. Wu Xieyu’s father sits in the house with him."
l Scene 2: Father Wu likes to laugh and play basketball with Wu Xieyu, mother I was reading a book when I was traveling.
l Scene 3: It is said that Wu's father had an affair during his lifetime, and his parents would also walk arm in arm when they went out.
l Father Wu had an affair when he was suffering from cancer in 2008, and his parents were arguing at home. At this moment, Wu Xieyu was in adolescence. Xie Tianqin has a hygienic addiction, and since then it has become more serious, and I feel that my husband is dirty. Everyone should pay attention to this place. Clean addicts generally suffer from neurosis to varying degrees.When an adolescent child is in the bud of sex, he feels a dispute between his mother and his father about sex at this time. How does he feel in his heart? Does he resist morally like his mother? The physiological aspect is to welcome sex? Two conflicting contradictions formed in Wu Xieyu's body? Will it cause the pain of personality conflict and disharmony?
l Mother waiting for her sick father must have some slight expressions of disgust, which may be seen by Wu Xieyu. His mother disliked his dying father, which was a sad blow to him who loved his father. The relationship between the line has been buried.
l Scene 4: Wu Xieyu said that his father had too much influence and his father was obviously energetic. After his death, many colleagues and friends donated money enough to show that Father Wu's cheerful personality was welcomed and accepted by everyone.
l With the death of his father, the light of Wu Xieyu's life also disappeared.
l Scene 5: Xie Tianqin was born in a poor family. His parents were blind, and his father was a college student who studied history. He blinded him for some reason, and casually married a blind girl from Houshan as his wife. The hidden shadows of the ancestors that later generations dare not touch.
l What is the pain that forced Grandpa to give up the courage to see through the world? It must be full of sadness and anger, right? Teacher Xie brought her original family trauma into marriage and raised her children. Will she bring real happiness to her husband and children? Obviously not, but quietly spread her grief to her husband and son. She needs some people to share her secret pain.
l Has Father Wu cheated? We don’t know how a lively and enthusiastic man can bear his wife who is always smiling and rigid.
l Wu Xieyu read his mother's diary. In the diary, the mother was very sad and mentally hard. He judged that he was not filial enough and was unable to bear the anxiety and sadness of his mother. Wu Xieyu felt ashamed and helpless at this moment.
In psychology, not using a knife to destroy a person is to create a sense of moral conscience and shame for him, so that the other person’s mind can live in self-condemnation day and night, and cannot live or die.
l A mother's best gift is to give her children positive emotional cues.
l The mother's mentality is not healthy enough, the mother has fear and anxiety in her heart,The child will automatically take on the mother’s bad emotions, deeply blame himself for not taking good care of his mother, and condemn himself for not being a good child. Children study and work with guilt and shame, and gradually develop various patterns of mental illness. Such as anxiety disorder, social phobia, depression, obsessive-compulsive disorder, and so on.
Third, there is a problem with the family system of the ancestral 3 generations
l Mental illness is a warning in a sense, mom, there is a problem with our family system, you are unhappy, and the child dare not be happy! If you don't move, the child doesn't dare to move. The child dare not explore the outside world, dare not become himself.
l One's greatest wish to live is to be himself. One's greatest freedom is the freedom to choose.
l Wu Xieyu seemed to have lost his freedom when he was born. The tragedy of his mother's native family is destined to require him to be the shadow of his grandfather or mother. The glory lost by his grandfathers, and the shame and pain of his grandparents all need to be solved by Wu Xieyu.
l Just like the lost ancestral scriptures of the ancestors, when you find it, you will be a good grandson, and you can enter the ancestral hall to face your ancestors and ancestors.
l Teacher Xie cultivated Wu Xieyu to become a super teacher Xie, or an erudite grandfather.
l Teacher Xie’s expectation and responsibility, behind the mother’s love is the fear and sorrow of generations. All these negative energies were given to Wu Xieyu, and this love was the greatest sorrow of their mother and child.
l Wu Xieyu carries the shadows and souls of generations on his back. The real Wu Xieyu is hidden.
l The shadow souls of the ancestors are all ghosts with fear and sorrow and pain. The collective subconscious of the family spreads negative fears. If the grandchildren inherit it, it is impossible for him to become himself. If he wants to become himself, he must Overcome the pain of the grandfathers and solve the pain of the mother and grandfather, but he is not a superman, he tried his best to become a schoolmaster, trying to meet part of the needs of the mother. Yitu's mother can smile.
l If we do family therapy, we often have to go back three generations. Start with the grandparents and see what spiritual legacy the grandparents leave to his offspring.
l Wu Xieyu went to Peking University and often called his mother in the evening to report on the trajectory of daily activities and learning status. It's not that Wu Xieyu needs to be so close to his mother, but that Wu Xieyu is meeting his mother's psychological needs. He was forced. His mother is attached to him, and there is a lot of unknown fear and sorrow in her heart. The moral level does not allow him to leave her mother's embrace.
l When a child grows up and awakens, he will try to break free from the bondage of his mother's love and cut the deformed attachment umbilical cord that lives and dies with his mother. Teacher Xie's control of Wu Xieyu is secret, making it invisible and intangible. This may be the brilliance of the intellectual teacher Xie. They have the status of intellectuals. If they are understood that their inner fragility needs children to fill it, their face will be lost. Besides, in the eyes of outsiders, Mr. Xie is aloof and strong, but these are of no practical use. The nature of being aloof and strong conceals the fragile and helpless individuals.
l Parents do not want their children to leave themselves, they will use some means to control their children. Such as intimidation, threats, moral accusations, kidnapping of love. . .
l When the child’s personality development presses the pause button, he suffers from various forms of mental and psychological problems, living like a baby, and living what his parents need. Later, my parents will complain again, why is my child so naive!
l The visitor said that what my parents say makes sense, and what I do with my children is wrong.
l Perhaps Teacher Xie herself does not know how to control Wu Xieyu. She subconsciously hints Wu Xieyu at the psychological level by writing a sad diary and her melancholy appearance in peacetime: Child, mother is very sad, are you sad with your mother? ? Do you live and die with your mother?
l Scene 6: After Wu Xieyu's father died, the donations raised by relatives, friends and classmates were rejected by Xie Tianqin.
Teacher Xie's move does seem to be relatively high. The money is not financial support, but a kind of love from Wu's colleagues and friends. Teacher Xie said that she has a salary to support her children.
l Teacher Xie actually rejected the kindness and kindness of friends, and indirectly raised his own identity and status. Also far away from the crowd, alienated the interpersonal relationship. People with low self-esteem may need others to take a high look.
Four.The mother’s mental health determines whether the child’s mental health is healthy. The mother was like Lin Daiyu .
l Wu Xieyu not only feels that his mother is having a hard life, but he is even more difficult. He has put in hard work and painstaking efforts to be admitted to the first-class university, Peking University, but his mother is still unhappy. His mother was traumatized by his father’s blind eyes in the early years, and in the middle of life was traumatized by the loss of her husband. How can Wu Xieyu save his mother's vitality?
On the contrary, Wu Xieyu borrowed a lot of money from relatives and friends after his mother died. Wu Xieyu’s reverse behavior shows that Wu Xieyu does not approve of his mother’s practices and dislikes the mother and the crowd. The act of alienating from the world.
His energy field needs unlimited expansion.
After the mother died, she became a male model, prostituted, drank bragging, married a nightclub lady, etc. If Mr. Xie was alive, would she be shocked to drop her chin?
Yes, the mother was a decent person and had high morals during her lifetime. Wu Xieyu must be a lifeless child to accompany her mother. When the mother died, he was relieved and regained his life energy. Maybe, only the mother’s death , He can live again, either rushing into the blue sky, spreading his wings and flying high, or falling into the animal realm.
Both allow him to reshape himself. Rather than the false self that mother and family expect.
He released all the depressed energy, became the worst child, and completed the primary conversion of life energy in the most primitive and rude way. Perhaps after this rough release, he will return to a normal civilized, polite and harmonious society. Perhaps normal high-end academic research will begin, and he will be arrested before he can turn around and transform.
How civilized and polite Xie taught his children before his death, and how rude he was after his death.
was born a good child who loves to learn,Children who are quiet and obedient and not naughty, and children who do not have adolescent rebelliousness are tantamount to castrated the male energy of the child in disguise, and the eunuch is no more than that. The essence of adolescent rebellion is the stage when the child begins to move towards independence and self-awareness. If the child’s rebellion is blocked at this time, the child will either lose control or regress on the path of future growth.
Wu Xieyu seems to have no youth and rebellion. He has always been a good child of other people's family. Good children have been able to block the energy of self-awareness under the suppression of their parents and become what their parents expect.
This is also a terrifying rebellious behavior he made in the later period. The boy has worked hard for his heroic self all his life. Even if you become a gangster, you can scorn the world with a smile.
Fifth, Wu Xieyu has no ability to help his mother be happy!
l Analysis of Xie Tianqin’s personality characteristics; from the analysis of the Big Five personality, Xie Tianqin may like to be introverted alone, not gregarious, suppress self, not good at social, alienate people, not easy to get angry, in some personality dimensions, Restraint, humble and shy, hate adventure, don't like to try new things, don't like excitement, silently suppress depression and sadness, don't like changes, stereotyped lifestyle, boring and boring, etc.
l Teacher Xie’s lifestyle is relatively fixed, more rigid, not so easy to adapt, it seems rigid, like a puppet going to work and going to get off work, reading and writing, wearing clothes of one color and one style throughout the year, and eating a pattern The meals, repeat the old way to and from get off work every day, there is no social interaction, no girlfriends, no hot pot, and no flowers. . . Teacher Xie, does her vitality look rigid? Her vitality has no ripples or fluctuations in the stagnant water. It gives people the feeling of suffocation and fainting.
l If the mother's vitality is still, the child's vitality cannot be developed.
l As he grows older, he is very angry: Mom, you have no vitality! You are as sad as Lin Daiyu! How can I help you? Mom, I really can't do anything! What can I do? What can I change?
l Powerlessness This may be the grief and sadness in Wu Xieyu's heart back then. After he went to Peking University, he needed to see a psychiatrist and felt that he had a psychological problem.The feeling of helplessness pinched his throat and suffocated.
l Mother Xie wears only black and gray. And these two colors are death colors.
l The police found a large number of sex tools in his room. Maybe we are thinking of pornography. In fact, sex is a symbol of life for an adolescent boy and a manifestation of fighting death. He puts this kind of life's antagonistic force on sex. His mother had high morals. After Wu's father derailed, his mother disliked sex even more, thinking that sex is an immoral filthy thing and cannot be on the table.
l Wu Xieyu had to condemn the corruption of self-morality and the awakening of sex, which made him feel ashamed, and had to put the energy of sex in nightclubs and prostitutes. Nightclubs can accept the awakening of life. He may be able to feel his lost self freely in sex.
l Wu Xieyu is afraid of guilt. He smelled death from his mother. He didn't want to die, he just started to live.
l At the spiritual level, the mother is like a dead and alive physical body.
l This is where Wu Xieyu hates his mother the most.
l He talked in court about his father crying, his world changed when his father was gone. The father used his hands to lift the child up, which was a refuge for his emotions, and his mother dragged the child towards Fall.
l This case is simple if it is simple, and it is complicated if it is complicated.
l The mother who lost his vitality invisibly stifled his son's vitality. The son went to Peking University and fulfilled his mother's ambitions, and still secretly conveyed the message of his son's death on the spiritual level.
l Wu Xieyu has been struggling with fitness exercises. He is polite, courteous and enthusiastic. He wants to change all of this and resist the hint of death brought by his mother.
l He wants to blend into this world, blend into the passionate world, and bring his own life to life.
l This is Wu Xieyu's most true inner cry.
l The visitor is a beautiful young girl with severe depression. She said she just wants to die.
l The world made her go from disappointment to despair.
l Mother is unhappy in marriage, often crying, she needs her to comfort her mother,Hate my father with my mother.
l She has been a mother's little padded jacket for ten years, which means that since she was 4 years old, she has taken care of her mother's painful emotions. At 14 years old, she was finally overwhelmed by the emotions passed by her mother. The girl suffered from severe depression.
l Mothers or parents who are mentally poor often regard their children as the last straw to save their spiritual world, allowing them to fill their spiritual lack and black holes.
Six, the lifeless mother brings the message of death
l A good mother must be full of vitality, full of love and enthusiasm for everything in the world, and know how to control the emotions of oneself, and the mother who loses vitality can devour herself And children.
l The danger of a child often comes from whether the parent's mental health is normal. The child who is swallowed by the emotional disaster of the grandparents will stop growing, regress or lose control. Creating a nourishing parent-child relationship to eliminate, reduce the torture in the relationship, and assist children to achieve their best self and realistic learning and life goals is the homework for our parents to do in life.
.
