In ancient society, the greatest joy in life for a man may be when he is named on the gold medal list, but the importance of the wedding night is self-evident. Without a good family to rely on, and no close person to be with him, If you share the joy of life and the success of your career, your life may also be very boring. It’s just that the ancients said, “Marrying a wife with a lustful wife will shorten your life if your yang declines.” Can you understand the reason? Is it true that ancient people did not look at appearance when they got married?
Female virtues are the most important
Marriage in any era is the beauty brought about by the impulse of youth. Behind a relationship is full of sensibility. If there is too much rationality, such a relationship may be a transaction of money and profitable. Marriage, The ancients often said that it is best for marriage to be a well-matched match, and there is still a certain degree of foresight. In this case, it may really be less of a mercenary marriage, and more of a warming of emotions between two people with consistent views , just like Li Qingzhao is the same as Zhao Mingcheng .
There is an old saying that "Marry a wife with virtue, not with sex", which tells everyone that when getting married, you need to pay more attention to virtue. "The Rites of Zhou" says, "Virtue is called internally and externally. "Go", virtue is morality and conduct. The life of the ancients was that the male was the master of the house and the wife was the master of the house. After a woman marries home, she must be able to manage the family, be able to raise children like Meng's mother , and be able to empress Lu is as good as , so men can fight better outside.
In life, you must have heard that "a loving mother often loses her son". After two people get married, many of the tasks of educating their children are done by women. After all, the nature of mother and child is inevitable for survival. However, the ancients also said "It is the fault of a son not to educate his father", which is enough to show that in family education, women are not the only ones who are good at running the house, but they just pay a little more than men. Past experience tells everyone how important it is to marry a virtuous woman.
Since ancient times, beauties have had bad lives.
Although virtue is the most important for marriage, it is unrealistic to say that appearance is not considered at all when getting married. Liu Xiu When she was young, there was a saying that "when you marry a wife, you should marry Yin Lihua , and when you are an official It should be "Zhijinwu", which shows that appearance is still very important. The ancients' "three matchmakers and six appointments" when they got married were like this. When the man came to propose marriage, the woman would hide behind a screen and take a look. If she didn't like it, , it is also that will not get married. If a man knows that the other person is ugly, he will most likely not come to ask for marriage.
The ancients said that "beauties have had a bad life since ancient times". Most of the women who have left their names in history should be the most beautiful women in history. Wang Zhaojun married outside the Great Wall for the sake of the Han Dynasty Xiongnu . Yang Yuhuan was killed on Mawei Station . Marrying a wife was the most important thing for those big families in ancient times to carry on the family line. An extremely beautiful woman led What comes is noncommittal.
There is also "beauties bring disaster" in the writings of literati. When she really loves you, she is Xiao Tiantian, when she dislikes you, she is a yellow-faced woman, in times of peace and prosperity, she is a peerless beauty, and in times of trouble, she is a "business woman" "I don't know how to hate the country's subjugation." has always been two groups of people who loved and killed each other in history, leaving many lessons for future generations.
Yang declines and shortens life.
Bai Juyi wrote in his poem: "The waiter lifts up the weakling, it is the beginning of new blessings. The spring night is short and the sun rises. From now on, the king does not go to court early." This vividly depicts a man who only loves beauty and has no interest in political affairs. The old emperor was also Because of Li Longji 's style of dealing with things, it led to the Anshi Rebellion, which brought the Tang Dynasty empire to an abrupt end. The "Book of Songs" said "Zhan Zhan Lu Si, the bandit Yang is not Xi", Yang It means the sun. After the Anshi Rebellion, the Tang Dynasty was like the sun going down.
" Mencius " said, "There are few people who are sick, and few people are lustful." Color here refers to beauty and appearance. If a man only looks at beauty and not virtue in marriage, he will be like Li Longji all day long. Reluctant to extricate themselves in the gentle land, many emperors in ancient times had short lifespans because of their excessive obsession with lust, just like the Zhengde Emperor Zhu Houzhao who died in the Leopard Room . He died in his prime. According to legend, there were a large number of people in the Leopard Room. Surrounded by beauties, the emperor was happy to miss Shu.
The ancients also said, "It is better to marry a widow than to marry a living wife." It also tells that when it comes to marrying a wife, virtue is far more attractive than beauty., "raw wife" may be a representative of the lack of virtue. In ancient times, Many dynasties have a concept of chastity. It can be said that it is unethical for a person to remarry his biological wife without authorization while the marriage relationship is still existing. If such a person brings home, it will definitely be a disaster for the family.
Conclusion
Love is a matter between two people, but marriage is a matter between two families. No matter how the times change, the requirements for virtue will never be outdated. When marrying a wife or a husband, virtue must be placed first. Damn it, if your significant other is an immoral person, you will definitely not be happy after getting married. After all, the survival of a marriage requires emotional investment from both parties.
