1. In class in winter, the teacher stood with his back to the stove and said to the students: Think twice before speaking, count to at least fifty, and count to a hundred for important things.
The students rushed to count, and finally they all burst out in unison: ninety-eight, ninety-nine, one hundred. Teacher, your clothes are on fire.
2. In the KTV, everyone was shouting at Xiao Zhang Liang. Xiao Zhang looked embarrassed and said: "My singing is too ugly, and I really can't sing. You can sing." When the manager saw this, he called Xiao Zhang: "It's okay if you really can't sing, then just recite one."
Colleague immediately clicked on the song "中文字幕" and inserted it in the front, handing the microphone to Xiao Zhang.
Xiao Zhang saw that it was impossible not to sing, so he took a deep breath, and we all immediately became quiet, looking forward to his "singing song"
There was no sound for a long time, this guy turned around, his eyes full of helplessness , asked the manager in a low voice: "I want to pray silently, is that okay?"
3, my sister-in-law and her rich second-generation boyfriend dated for a month and then lived together. One day, my sister-in-law said to her boyfriend: "Honey, I have fallen in love with a pair of leather shoes, they are very nice!" When he heard this, he immediately transferred 5,000 yuan to his sister-in-law. That night, after my boyfriend took a shower, he heard his sister-in-law making a phone call in the bedroom. She complained: "My boyfriend is not good at drawing inferences from one case to another. When I told him about leather shoes, he only bought me leather shoes and kept silent about clothes and pants!" Upon hearing this, her boyfriend immediately broke up with her because she was greedy and too greedy. High maintenance!
4. Today I took the bus out and got on the bus with a beautiful woman. But there was only one seat in the car, so I said like a gentleman: "You sit down, I'll stand." The beautiful woman smiled and said: "You'd better sit down, I sit a lot at work." Just when we were arguing, , an uncle came up from behind and couldn't bear to pull me, and said angrily: "You two stand, otherwise how can I drive?"
5. Yesterday, while having dinner at home, my wife suddenly asked me what kind of man is a good man. I ate my meal and shook my head to express that I didn’t know. My daughter-in-law said: People say that men who don’t have V-messages or dating apps on their phones are good men. If you don’t even have QQ, then you’re a great man. I love you so much! I said: I want to, but the mobile phone function does not support it!
6. It is convenient to go to the restroom. When I encounter the leader walking back and forth anxiously outside the restroom, is it possible that the superior leader is coming? Yesterday, I heard the driver, Lao Li, say that he had lost a lot of money in the stock market. Seeing this, I didn’t dare to go over. Maybe he would take it out on me! I was waiting to hear the leader yelling to the bathroom, Master Wang, is the toilet clear? It’s been half an hour and I can’t hold it in anymore!
7. Xiao Liu has been working in the government for some years. One morning, after getting up, his wife brought him breakfast and a newspaper. Xiao Liu read while eating. Three hours later, Xiao Liu was still sitting at the table reading the newspaper.
His wife couldn't help but said: "My dear, aren't you going to work?"
Xiao Liu suddenly screamed: "Am I not in the office?"
