1. After my girlfriend disappeared, I immediately went to the police station to report the case. The police said to me: Calm down first. If you keep laughing like this, we won't be able to record it.
2. When you feel that you are ugly, poor, and worthless, don’t despair, because at least your judgment is still right.
3. When I was a child, I went to the zoo to see tigers and vowed to raise one when I grew up. Now, my dream has finally come true. Enough said, it’s time to do the laundry, and I’ll have to cook for my wife later!
4. At our age, money and appearance determine too many things.
5. What’s not good about filming is "Ex". Now it’s better. More than a dozen of my exes are looking for me to get back together. I’m hiding outside and don’t dare to go home.
6. I was smoking on the balcony that day. I smoked half of it, and the rest was blown away by the wind. I didn't care about following the trend, maybe it also has troubles. But afterwards, the more I thought about it, the angrier I became, and I started to convulse!
7. When there was thunder, I stood under the big tree and shouted: "I want to time travel!" Sure enough, I succeeded. As soon as I opened my eyes, I traveled to the hospital a month later.
8. Go to a new company for an interview. Interviewer: Do you have organizational skills? Me: Absolutely no problem! I once organized a general strike in my last company!
9. Your sexy little back really makes me think wildly. Round and smooth, I really want to step forward. It's not okay to take you as my own! Fragrant roast duck, but I can’t even move my chopsticks before all the guests have arrived!
10. In today's society, it is no longer useful to cook raw rice into cooked rice. Even if it becomes popcorn, what should run will still run.
11. When you reach middle age, it’s like a Journey to the West! Wukong's pressure, Bajie 's figure, Laosha 's hair style, all chattering like Tang Monk! It’s getting closer and closer to the West!
12. My friend’s wife was pregnant and she posted on WeChat Moments. I discussed with a group of friends that we should post together as brothers. I was wrong and I was sorry for you. They all agreed. Finally, I found that I was the only one who posted it, but none of them did. I wanted to ask Duan You, if I explained to him that my QQ was stolen, do you think he would believe it?
13. I got ten points in the exam and was interrogated by my parents. My dad gave me the first kick: I’m not up to par! Mom went on to say: It took a donkey to kick you to get such a score.
14. I used to be a top student, but one day I wanted to see the world of bad students, but I couldn’t find my way back.
15. My mother forcibly took me on a blind date. After meeting, I found out that the man and I were classmates in elementary school. Then the man said to his mother: This is the girl who beat me at every turn when I was a child, forced me to do homework for her, and took my food money to buy snacks every day...
16. In this world, the widest thing is the ocean. What is wider than the ocean is the sky, and what is wider than the sky is the "examination range"!
17. Girls who love to laugh will not have bad luck; girls who love to take selfies will not have bad luck with their mobile phones!
18. When you go to dinner with friends, tell the boss when you are paying: Whoever you think is ugly will pay the bill! As a result, the boss said: Then go for AA! My friend and I were instantly stunned!
19. Life is not easy, so don’t drink to drown your sorrows. Go to bed early when you are sad. Wine also costs money. If you can save one bottle, it’s a bottle.
20. Every time I plan to sneak up on my friends from behind, they always notice my arrival in advance. Maybe my poor voice betrays me.
21. When I was a child, I made a mistake and was beaten by my mother, but not a single tear was shed! After the beating, my mother stroked my head: Silly boy! Why don't you run! Does it hurt? After hearing this sentence I cried! You chased me for two whole streets, tell me where else can I run!
