1. When Xiaobei saw an advertisement for a certain product with three guarantees being played on TV, he said to his mother: "Mom, from tomorrow on, I also want three guarantees?"
Her mother asked her puzzledly: "What three guarantees? "
Xiaobei: "A pack of sugar, a pack of biscuits, and a pack of chocolate. "
2. Xiao Zhang came to my house with his four-year-old son. I took an orange to him, and Xiao Zhang said: "Son, what should you say when uncle gives you an orange?"
The child lowered his head and felt embarrassed, so I quickly said: "No thanks, just eat it."
Xiao Zhang smiled and said: "My son is too introverted and dare not speak."
At this time, the child said to me in a very low voice: "Uncle, can you help me peel it off?"
3. A buddy seems to have seen the I felt a little depressed at first, so he took me to drink at night. He said to me with a depressed look: My boss is related to me! According to seniority, I am his uncle! I was stunned for a moment, then smiled and said: Isn’t that good? There is always someone to take care of you, so don’t be afraid of being bullied! He glanced at me: It's useless! It was only three months after I was fired that I was scolded so badly by my boss that I found out that I had this kind of relationship with my boss... and even let a junior bully me...
4. My wife was on a business trip for half a month. She got home yesterday, but she didn’t tell her son. I want to give my son a surprise. I said to my son: Close your eyes and I will do a magic trick for you. After my son closed his eyes, his wife came in and I shouted 3, 2, 1. Open your eyes! The son said excitedly: Wow, it’s just like the real thing! Then it was a slap: Dad, look, she is still glaring at me. I turned around and walked out. After a while, I heard my son shouting: Dad, save me, change her back quickly, change her back quickly...
5. A friend of mine’s wife ran away with another man. I've been very depressed recently and haven't gone to work anymore, so I just shut myself up at home and drink to drown my sorrows. I went to visit him, and he happened to be playing Landlords. When I saw that he had two fours, I said you are right! Unexpectedly, he only posted one: Damn it! Breaking up a pair is a pair!
6. A fat woman parked her electric bike in front of the store and asked the boss loudly: "You said this electric bike can run 40 kilometers on a full charge by one person. Why did I run out of battery after running 20 kilometers?" The boss looked at it. Looking at the woman, he smiled and said: "Beauty, with your weight, you must be counted as at least two people!"
7. My son asked me who Han Yu was, and I told him: "Han Yu is a great writer. He is 25 years old. "Jinshi"
The son said disdainfully: "Dad, I am only 6 years old, and I am already short-sighted."
