, When I was in college, once, I sent the goddess home at night. When I got downstairs, the goddess said that there was no one at home and the corridor was very dark, so she was afraid and did not dare to go up. Then I said "Ah~" and turned on all the lights in the corridor. Now that I think about it, I really want to slap myself twice! She's disturbing the people by shouting so loudly. Just help her turn on the flashlight on her phone. I'm so stupid!
2, My wife and I have been married for almost a year, and we were planning to have a baby. I sighed, why is milk powder so expensive and not safe? My wife said something very classic: From now on, you drink the left side, and the baby drinks the right side. I eat alone, and our whole family is not hungry.. After listening to this, I silently looked at my chest and understood why women are so important!
3, In a clothing store, an impatient young man said to a beautiful girl: "Do you mind saying a few words to me?" The girl asked in confusion: "Why?" The man said: "My wife has been in this store for more than an hour and hasn't come out yet. If she sees me talking to other beauties, she will come out immediately... " Before he could finish, he His wife had walked quickly out of the fashion store and left with him on her arm.
4, I was waiting for my girlfriend in the square today, and I saw a beggar. I saw other people throwing money into the basin in front of him, so I threw a cigarette into his basin as a joke. Unexpectedly, he raised his head and said to me: "Brother, you still understand me, TM's business is too good to leave, so he gave me a fifty-fifty note. Brother went to buy two packs of Yuxi, one pack for each person." . I was left alone and messy in the cold wind....
5, When I was a child, I went to play at my uncle's house and slept with my uncle at night. My aunt was afraid that I would freeze, so as soon as my head showed up, my aunt would tuck me into the quilt. Finally, my aunt got mad: You little bastard! Why do you keep drilling out? What to do if you catch a cold? I cried and said: The sweet potatoes I ate in the afternoon were so stinky in bed! My aunt also tried covering her head with a quilt, but she vomited when she came out.
6, My cousin got promoted and invited me and my boyfriend to dinner. My cousin chose a high-end restaurant and ordered some delicious dishes. During the meal, my boyfriend and I kept picking up food from each other and whispering to each other. My cousin suddenly stared at the two of us sadly and said: "Are you abusing single dogs? Let me tell you, dogs will jump over the wall when pushed!!!" My cousin ate in a hurry and left without paying the bill. We both felt so bad after purchasing this item... There are risks in showing affection, and you need to be careful when abusing dogs!
7, My sister-in-law dated a boyfriend when she was 30 years old, but they broke up soon after. The reason was that while the boyfriend was shopping, he answered a phone call and said to his sister-in-law: I have something to do, and I will come back to you in two hours ! So my sister-in-law was wandering around on the street alone. As she was walking, she suddenly found her boyfriend and a girl shopping in the mall. The two of them were talking and laughing! My sister-in-law was so angry that she gave the woman a big mouthful. Her boyfriend exclaimed: Mom, are you okay? Then asked my sister-in-law angrily: Why did you hit my mother?
8. Human beings are really strange. Making money is obviously a very unhappy thing, so why do we still work so hard to make money?
9, In a certain airport, a girl knelt down in front of the boarding gate, crying and said: "Are you abandoning me so that you can live abroad? If you don't want to see me for the last time, you will run away secretly. .If you leave, don't come back! " A staff member walked up to the girl and helped her dust herself off: "I'm sorry, madam, this is a domestic flight... It seems... you cried by mistake. "
10, My best friend cooks very delicious food. Every time my boyfriend and I lie on the sofa and watch TV, while my best friend is busy in the kitchen alone. I often tell my boyfriend : "Whoever can marry her will be really lucky. . "The boyfriend would also joke: "Otherwise I will marry her and cook for us two. " A year later, I was sitting at the dining table eating the meal cooked by my best friend, but I had become a guest.
11, A buddy said that he was socializing in a small mountain village last night. He suddenly felt urgent urination while he was drinking. I went to a public restroom and went to the restroom. I was robbed and 200 yuan was taken away. I said: It’s not much money. I hope you’re fine! My buddy gritted his teeth and continued: They took me. The tissues and pants were also taken away~
