1. One day, my mother said to her daughter, "Mom can no longer pick you up every day. You have to ask your father to pick you up from school, but occasionally mom will pick you up."
The daughter looked at her mother blankly and asked seriously: "Occasionally, mom who is it?".
2. I asked my son: "Do you like the moon or the sun?"
My son said: "The moon can bring light to the night. No matter how late you play outside, you can still see the way home clearly. The sun comes every morning My bed has been exposed to the sun for a long time, and I can’t sleep even if I want to.”
3. I am a person who can’t help but hate people who jump in line. When I was queuing up to buy a family bucket today, a girl said to me: Handsome guy, can you let me jump in the queue? I asked in a rough voice with an angry look on my face: What did you say? Say it to me again! The girl was stunned for a moment and said: Can you let me go? I immediately interrupted the girl and said: the previous sentence. The girl scratched her head and said: Handsome guy! I immediately stepped aside and stretched out my right hand and said loudly: Please!
4. I came from a good family but couldn’t find a partner, so my friend introduced me to a partner and we made an appointment to meet at a western restaurant in the evening. After a while of greetings, the two of us sat down. In order to increase my goodwill in her mind, I took the initiative to chat with her about literature. From poetry to prose to novels, it’s endless. She looked at me with confusion on her face. I said, "If there is anything you don't understand, you can ask." She said, "My mother said that those who engage in literature are poor people. Do you have no money?"
5. Boss some time ago I was going to open a store in another place, so my boss arranged for me to go there first. I told my boss: I opened six stores and I went there six times. Every time the operation was completed, I was transferred back. Am I a pawn for your testing? Boss: Why are you a chess piece? You are the vanguard, and I brought you back to rest after the battle was over.
6. My wife was not at home in the evening, so my sister-in-law and I were at home. We added a girl nearby, and we said hello decisively and started chatting! Me: "Beauty, let's have dinner together tonight, I can give you a mobile phone!" Beauty: "I won't go, but you still have to give me a mobile phone, and it must be the new Apple 11." Me: "You think you are. Who is it, so awesome?" Beauty: "If you dare not give it, I will tell my sister what happened today. You just have to think about it, brother-in-law!" Me: "..."
7. Elementary school students' composition: a lesson
Xiaoli is my good friend, but we quarreled over an apple ...
The cause of the matter is this: Xiaoli came to my house and asked me to go to school together. My mother gave me two apples and told me to give them Xiaoli alone. But I didn't want to give it to her, so I ate both.
Xiaoli started scolding me, saying that the apple belonged to her and I had snatched her apple. In fact, the apple originally belonged to my family, so why should I give it to her, so I started to quarrel with her. We didn't talk for a few days, and Xiaoli stared at me when she saw me. I was very sad.
It’s really sad to have no friends. Later, the teacher found out and criticized us. It was the teacher who educated me.
I learned a lesson: if you have something delicious, you must hide it! If a friend finds it, give it to her!
