Today’s things are done with all your heart, mind, and strength. Regardless of your results, you should go to bed happily. ——Sanmao
1,
Not long ago, there was a question and answer on Zhihu!
Why do adults tend to collapse after zero?
The answer with the highest like rate is:
For adults, you belong to life during the day. You are a leader, employee, wife, and father. You need to lead the team, fulfill your obligations, and become a role model; It is late at night that you belong to yourself. Those grievances that are nowhere to be placed during the day, those weaknesses that cannot be seen by others, those trivial emotions and distant dreams, dare to come to my heart! Most importantly, the night can always hold our tears, pain and helplessness.
Yes, this is the daily life of adults-during the day, try to play one role after another; only in the middle of the night do you have time to stop and think about yourself.
One night a few days ago, I finished writing in my diary, and it was already zero. My friend Dandan suddenly sent me a message: "Are you sleeping?"
"No," I said.
She sent a crying and laughing emoticon: "What? Is it the same heartache as I can't sleep?"
I returned her two crying and laughing emoticons.
Dandan lives with her parents-in-law, and her husband works in another city. She runs a maternity shop alone while bringing the children. Originally, the work of restocking, replenishing, and organizing inventory was enough to make people laborious.
And because online shopping has long become people’s shopping habit, shopping online is cheap and convenient.So her physical store business is very difficult. Most of the people who take care of her business are acquaintances and often bargain with her, which makes her feel pressured.
Work makes her very busy, and her children are not worry-free. The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law and the relationship between husband and wife are also all kinds of small problems and small frictions. For many nights, she lay in bed with her eyes open until dawn.
She said: somehow, many nights, when the night is quiet, my heart starts to ache, and the backlog of emotions in the day erupts like a volcano, and my eyes are like a tap that can’t be closed. Tears couldn't stop falling down, wet the pillow.
The heart is like a crystal ball. When it was thrown on the ground, the fragments rolled to the ground, and the black air in my chest was air-cooled. I could only kneel on the ground and collect the fragments one by one, slowly taking the heart Put it together and put it back in the chest, and it came alive again.
I don’t know how to comfort her, but I can only be a loyal listener. We talked until two or three o’clock, and finally she said: "Okay, I finally feel more comfortable in my heart. Let’s sleep tomorrow. It's a new day again."
Thomas Carlisle said: People who have not cried in the middle of the night are not enough to talk about life.
In the process of growing up, each of us will encounter such moments that are difficult to sleep. If you experience more of these moments, you will find that: There is no effective way except for self-comfort, self-acceptance, and self-adjustment. Cleverly avoid inner anxiety and pain.
But fortunately, no matter how dark it is, there will be times when it is bright, and no matter how long the night is, it will eventually usher in the ray of dawn. No matter what, tomorrow is a new day.
I hope we can forgive everything before going to bed and wake up without thinking about the past!
Before going to bed, to forgive everything, is to shake hands with the world and make peace. After all, stars are occasionally hidden by clouds. Wake up, do not ask the past, run like never fell, like never lost...
2
Zhou Guoping once said: people should have two consciousnesses: one Is the courage to start from scratch,The second is to be calm and unfinished.
The older you are, the more you have experienced, and the more you have to bear in your heart. At this time, you need a kind of ability: the ability to clear zero.
Only when the past is cleared, can you be free from concern and start again.
On weekends, I had dinner and chat with friends, and everyone suddenly talked about their previous love experiences.
Friend A talked about his relationship experience.
It was the third year after graduating from university. She went home during the Chinese New Year. The family arranged a blind date for her. The other party was a soldier brother, and she fell in love at first sight.
Two people go shopping and watch movies together, and soon determine the relationship between boy and girl friends, and decide to get married the next year.
After the Chinese New Year, one of the two returned to the army and the other to the city where they worked. Slowly, A felt something was wrong. Although she knew that Bing had to hand in his cell phone, Bing didn’t contact her very much after sending it out. , She takes the initiative every time.
Later, she couldn’t help asking Bing brother what was going on. Bing brother told her: “I once had a girlfriend, and then I broke up. It has been several years. I also like you very much, but I found that I still can’t forget her, I’m sorry.”
A told Bing’s brother: “If you still like her, then go and pursue her again. If it’s impossible for you, just forget her. Let’s fall in love.”
As a result, Bing brother said: "I can't forget."
So, A and Bing brother broke up, and now, Bing brother is still single.
In many cases, people suffer because they can’t let go of the past.
We are often entangled in the unfinished things in the past, uncherished people, unfulfilled wishes, and even suddenly think of it at some point in the future, but still feel regretful and blame the original inability , Do not retain or fight for.
"If you persisted a little bit at the beginning, would you have a successful career? If you cherish it enough,Are you happy now? If..."
However, the reality is not if. Blindly indulging in self-blame emotions and unable to extricate themselves, the result can only be wasted in regret.
Maybe, the past experience is not perfect, but what has happened is The only thing that will happen.
Those things that seem to be paid but have no results, the feelings of careful management but no ending, teach us warmth and maturity, and also make us gentle and rational. It is the past experience for life _P2p
We can't forget the past, but we can't live in the past. People have to learn to look forward.
is like Jiang Nansun played by Liu Shishi in the recently hit TV series " stream golden years" _P2p
She was raised by her parents as a princess since she was a child. She never worries about money, but because her father trades in stocks, she not only loses all her family assets, but also owes a debt. Because her father cannot bear the financial pressure, She jumped off the building and died.
Jiang Nansun, who originally lived in the ivory tower and only pursued her own ideals, did not indulge in the past, but quickly accepted the reality. She temporarily gave up her dreams and worked hard to earn money to pay off her debts. With my own efforts, I walked out of the trough of life and gained happiness.
Sometimes the end is also a new beginning. Only by waving goodbye to the past can you chase the happiness you want.
Growth is a journey of reconciliation with the past. Only by accepting yourself can you move forward calmly. Letting go of the past can be lightly loaded.
3
There is a mentality in psychology called the "empty cup mentality" _P2p
originally meant that in the process of psychological consultation and psychological counseling, we should temporarily let go of our opinions, emotions, complexes, and patterns, and wholeheartedly accept everything about the work target.
gradually evolved into: allows the mind to make room to accept the present and welcome a new beginning.
I have read a very philosophical story: a scholar asked the Zen master about Zen. The scholars chattered endlessly, and the Zen master was silent, and just treated each other with tea. The tea continued to overflow the cup and flow onto the table.
Zen master still poured tea into the cup. The scholar finally couldn't help it, and said: "The tea has overflowed. Don't pour it anymore."
"You are like this cup." The Zen master said, "It is full of your own thoughts and opinions. You will not pour it." Empty your cup, tell me how to talk about Zen with you?"
If the old tea does not go, the new tea cannot be poured. This is the free and easy of Zen; how can the old tea once existed? This is the attachment of mortals. Everyone's heart, like this teacup, is filled with things that one thinks is important, and no matter how hard it is to pack more things, naturally there is no talk of transcendence and progress.
A cup, if milk is poured into the cup, people say it is a "glass of milk", if you pour juice, people call it a "glass of juice".
The same cup, because it is filled with different things, it changes its original nature.
Human heart is the same, because the heart is filled with different emotions, it will become different human nature. The same heart, pretending to be angry, people start to be confused; pretending to be sad, people start to become decadent; pretending to be proud, people start to forget.
The same heart, full of kindness, human nature is full of light; pretending to be grateful, knowing tolerance everywhere; pretending to dream, life will be strong.
Life is complicated. Whether it’s good or bad, it will continue to invade us. The more we experience, the more we feel. Sometimes painful, sometimes persistent. If you want to keep improving yourself without being bound, just We must learn to let go, let go of the past, good or bad; we must know how to let go,No matter what you like or dislike.
The empty cup mentality is to let yourself have a broader mind.
The empty cup mentality, empty is the meaningless quarrel, let the soul return to tranquility, let yourself be more diligent in the calm emotions; The obscuration of desires allows the heart to return to soberness, allowing oneself to continuously improve without being arrogant or impatient.
4
Lu Yao once said:
"Everyone has a period of awakening, but the time of awakening determines their destiny."
Road, understand the road under your feet, and also see the road to the future.
Walking along the path of life, we are burdened with too many things: all kinds of negative emotions, endless desires, and strong interpersonal relationships.
And these should not be our burden.
Resentment, remember to clear it in time, don't let it control your emotions; desire, remember to clear it in time, don't let it lose your heart; in the circle of friends, remember to clear it in time, don't fall into interpersonal confusion.
Know how to do subtraction for ourselves, and make people clear them in time, so that we can relax and move forward lightly.
In this life, there are thousands of paths. You must stop when you need to stop, and you must clear when you need to clear.
What is "clearing"?
means to put everything down and start over.
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