A few days ago, my roommate was chatting with my family on the phone: Mom, Do I want to call you and make an appointment.
And this seemingly joking sentence really hurt me, and it was the first time I felt the incomparable sense of guilt, because this sentence came from me.
Once upon a time, my parents became so humble.
The day before the 11th holiday, my mother called a WeChat video call, but I didn't answer it because I was on the road. Then my mother called and asked why I didn't answer the video call, and I was prevaricate He said that he would call her back on October 3.
When my mother heard this, she was a little annoyed and said, "I need to make an appointment to call you now?"
"Tomorrow I will go out with my colleagues to watch a movie, and I will come back very late, so it is not very convenient. The day after tomorrow, my colleagues will come home for dinner. ..."
Mom wanted to say something, but she stopped talking, just said "remember to make a video call to me when you are free" and hung up the phone.
After spending two days on vacation with my colleagues, I remembered that I had promised my mother and made a video call to her.
called, and my mother cautiously said, "How was the Mid-Autumn Festival? Did you eat moon cakes? Did you have a good meal today? Are you busy recently?" A series of questions made me feel guilty.
I am in a foreign land and no one takes care of me. It turns out that someone has been thinking about me from afar.
The mother in my memory has always been a very cold and strong woman. When did she become so cautious?
Why has she ever been so careful with anyone?
She often told me that girls are no worse than boys at any time, as long as you work hard.
When I was a child, I was bullied by the boys in my neighbor's house, and I didn't cry; when I was in junior high school, I was criticized by the class teacher for being too fond of dressing up. I don't feel lonely;
But now I'm crying with guilt because of a phone call from my mother.
, who used to be so strong, has now become so cautious in front of me.
This is the case with many parents. When they are young, they shield their children from the wind and rain, but as time goes by, parents who were originally strong have to look at their children's faces when they are old.
Once upon a time, I was so fond of home.
I still remember when I was in a foreign country during college, my roommates all went home during the holidays, and I was alone in my dormitory for a long vacation and was sad.
At that time, without even thinking about it, I picked up the phone and cried to my parents, making trouble like a child.
My parents came to the university to spend the vacation with me the next day. This happened twice, but my parents never complained.
being in a different place is not an excuse for me to rely on them, but I use this excuse to the fullest.
I often feel lonely when I am bored. Sometimes I will write a pen to record some past events, and sometimes I will draw some scenes in my life.
Until last year's Lantern Festival, I carried my luggage and went to work in a different place. I drove through every city on a motor train, watching thousands of lights and fireworks bursting all over the city. Later, I received a text message from my mother, "Are you here? Have you eaten? Are you settled?"
At that moment, I suddenly felt very homesick, missing that familiar place, that night, I didn't eat anything, I was neither hungry nor sleepy, and I cried until midnight.
It seems that at that time, I was very fond of family. I would talk to my mother when I was in love, and I would talk to her when I had something on my mind. Sometimes I would even talk to her about work, and occasionally I would talk to her. Talk about unrealistic dreams.
Sometimes, even if we make a phone call, even if we don't speak, we can look at each other and feel safe, and our hearts are warm.
But now, I have become so indifferent
They used to be children, and they didn't know how to be parents. We urged them to mature. But we forget that parents also need company.
What makes me feel guilty is not that there is so much time between me and my mother, but that I have not yet become her reliance.
I thought I was a quiet adult, but in fact it was only time that was quiet. He took away the best years of my parents and made them old, and this was all before we found out.
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Author:Lulu
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