text/Xueluowuchen
01
In love, women should not be too "capable", and men who love you again want to let go.
He Ling is notoriously independent and capable. When
had no boyfriend before, she was able to deal with all the troubles in life alone. Now that she has a boyfriend, she still handles it alone. It's like being single without anyone taking care of it.
boyfriend always tells her: "Call me if you have something, and I will help you deal with it."
He Ling waved her hand every time, and said indifferently: "Hey, this little thing, I can do it alone. , Why bother to trouble you?"
He Ling's way of doing things makes her boyfriend very non-existent, but her boyfriend is not easy to say He Ling too much. The relationship between the two people seems to be upside down, and it seems that the boyfriend is very hypocritical.
Some time ago, He Ling changed a new job. In order to be closer to the company, she wanted to move. Boyfriend knows that He Ling wants to move, but half a month has passed since finishing the work at hand. When her boyfriend
just wanted to ask He Ling about the move, He Ling told him: "I have moved. I moved yesterday afternoon." The
boyfriend is shocked. Even if He Ling is independent, the move cannot be accomplished by herself. Right.
He Ling said: "Of course I hired someone to help me together, but seeing you are so busy, I'm not embarrassed to tell you. Now that you have moved, I will tell you and the address will be sent to you later."
said lightly When he said this, his boyfriend felt that he really played little role in this relationship, and even sometimes, he needed He Ling's comfort.
During the period when the two people just fell in love, her boyfriend always believed that He Ling was an independent and motivated girl.
But as the understanding deepened, he gradually discovered that He Ling's independence and strength were not what he saw, but He Ling's intentional disguise.
02
He Ling was brought up by her mother since she was a child, and her childhood was not happy.
was divorced when she was very young. And her mother is not very caring about her, so she has learned to watch her words and colors, and solve all problems by herself.
Later, He Ling agreed to the pursuit of her predecessor. She thought that the pain she suffered could be comforted in love, so she showed her true self and was attached to each other.
In the early days of love, the ex was not disgusted by He Ling's clinginess. On the contrary, the relationship between the two people is getting better and better. For the first time, He Ling realized the feeling of being cared for and needed.
But as the freshness dissipated, the ex became more and more impatient with He Ling. The two broke up because of He Ling's clinging, strong desire to control, but later He Ling retained the relationship.
After that, He Ling learned to not rely on anyone, become well-behaved, and face the trivialities of life alone.
Even so, He Ling still failed to maintain this relationship. The ex used various excuses to pick out He Ling's mistakes and force He Ling to break up. After
broke up, He Ling lived alone for a long time. During that time, she felt the benefits of independence even more, and even thought about not looking for a lover and spending the rest of her life by herself.
until I met her current boyfriend, perhaps because of fate, He Ling fell in love with each other at first sight, and soon the two were together.
At the beginning of being together, He Ling once again experienced the feeling of being needed and cared, but did not dare to act clingy anymore, but became more independent, for fear that the other party would be tired of her.
He Ling thinks that she can resist trouble alone, don't have to worry about disturbing each other, and only share pleasant things with each other, and there will be no problems in the relationship between the two.
But her boyfriend doesn't think so. He feels that love is not a one-man show of one person. Since they are already together, they should face all kinds of difficulties together, even a little bit.
03
After his boyfriend learned of He Ling's past, he wrote a long letter to He Ling.
He said that he is willing to spoil He Ling and love each other. Isn't it for independent people to have a place to find comfort and a safe haven for trouble?
If the other person is angry because of your small temper, your clingy, then the other person does not really love you.
The other person likes to stick to you, he likes everythingTrouble you, it's just an expression of loving you, wanting to further pull the distance between two people.
If the other party is tired of you because of this, then he just selfishly wants to get something from you, and waits until there is no use value before leaving.
may be because of this in-depth conversation, which played a role for He Ling, she began to change her thinking and working style.
discuss with your boyfriend if you have any problems, call your boyfriend to help if you have any trouble. Instead of going to notify her boyfriend after I have handled everything as before.
Before her boyfriend went out to drink and dine with friends, He Ling never asked, and did not call frequently. But now she makes a phone call after a while, telling her boyfriend to drink less and pay attention to safety on the road. Friends of
all said that He Ling seemed to be a different person, becoming gentler and firmer.
Now, He Ling will still handle most things alone, but before handling, she will think of her boyfriend first, thinking that she has a strong backing.
04
In love, there is a kind of woman who will discourage men and never love you deeply.
is the kind of woman who is so capable that a man can't find her presence at all.
In fact, a good love should be needed and affirmed by each other, not a one-man show.
People who love each other are together to be each other's backing, and go on independently and firmly together?
In fact, two people who love each other are a constant running-in process. This running-in not only includes each other's habits and personality, of course, it also includes the pattern of love.
Only when two people find the most comfortable and harmonious mode of getting along, can this relationship go down smoothly, rather than not lasting for long, because of various improper running-in, and finally going on separate things.
So, the running-in between lovers is a very important thing. So, how do you get along and how to get along? The premise of all this is that you need to understand love first.
Here, there is a collection of adult psychology books related to love, which is very worth reading.
It will start from different perspectives of love, teach you how to love someone, how to promote the relationship between you, how to make the love between you continue to heat up, rather than conflicts and so on.
Love also requires methods. To love someone in the right way is the prerequisite for a successful love. I hope that after reading this set of books, you can truly become a person who understands and can love.
