Chinese society has always emphasized "human relations" since ancient times, and the friendship between relatives and friends, neighbors, colleagues and classmates is disconnected, forming today's huge social network. There is a Chinese saying that "rely on relatives at home, and rely on friends when going out", which shows how much Chinese people value friendship. Traditional Chinese parents often educate their children to make more friends, saying that friendship is more important than money. This is a kind of thought that is more difficult to understand in Western society, because Westerners' concept of family affection is not very strong, and the concept of friendship is relatively indifferent, and they will not compare friendship with gold. There is also a Chinese saying, compared to what many people have heard, that is, "friends and wives must not be bullied". In fact, the next sentence is a classic, but few people know it.
"Friends’ wives must not be bullied" has two meanings. The first level means that you should treat your friends’ wives as your own friends and never bully your friends’ wives. Wife is a family member, and treat friends’ family members with full respect and maintain basic courtesy. Only this kind of friendship will last. This is also a manifestation of the Chinese people's emphasis on friendship and another manifestation of "love the house and the black". In the minds of many gentlemen in ancient times, the parents of friends were their own parents. When a friend could not support his parents, he had to fulfill this part of the obligation for his friend. In the same way, a friend's wife needs to take care of herself. This is the performance of loyalty.
"Friends’ wives must not be bullied". Another broader meaning is that you should not have thoughts about your friends’ wives beyond friendship. No matter how beautiful and considerate a friend’s wife is, she should sincerely wish her friend and wife happiness instead of trying to get involved. Even more shouldn't be done in the name of taking care of your friend's wife when your friend is away for a while. This is very disdainful and unethical behavior.
"Friends and wives can't be bullied" actually has the next sentence, but few people know it, and because very few people use this sentence, the spread is not as wide as the previous sentence. The next sentence of it is "you can't help a friend's husband". "Help" means "touching" in ancient Chinese. The meaning of this sentence is very obvious. You must keep a proper distance from your friend's husband and never touch. , Touching such a misleading move. In fact, in ancient China, the moral requirements for women were even higher, and there were extreme requirements for women's loyalty.
Women must not only obey the "three obediences and four virtues", they must also not have too much contact with foreign men, and they must not behave at all. They must avoid suspicion and maintain a clear distance from married couples. For married men who don’t know each other, keep a distance. For a friend’s husband, it’s even more important to understand rules, etiquette, and not be intimate. Therefore, "friends’ wives cannot be deceived" has two meanings, and the next sentence of "friends’ husbands cannot be supported" has essentially one meaning, that is, actions that go beyond the ordinary relationship between men and women cannot be done to the husband of a friend, otherwise it would be immoral. behavior.
In fact, in modern society, the defense between men and women is not so obvious and not so rigid. Now social etiquette does not shy away from gender. Married women and married men can also be good friends, and in some situations where mutual help is needed, there may be some physical contact. In fact, as long as the bottom line of marriage and morality is not touched, normal friendship between men and women is normal in the hearts of modern people, whether they are married or not, and whether the opposite sex is a friend’s wife or husband. I have to say that the relationship between men and women in modern society is relatively enlightened, and it is fortunate for women to live in this era.
